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Health Forum    Cancer
Health Discussion Forum

 I have cancer, How come im not worried..?
I recieved my results few days ago, and have been told that I have an incurable lung caner. I have no smoking, history, I work out regularly (2 to 3 times a weeK). Im 22 ut for some reason im have no ...

 Skin cancer age 13?
Is it remotely possible to get skin cancer at age 13 when your in the sun maybe 15 min every few days?...

 What do I do? My Mom is dying of cancer in the USA (where I'm from) but no one knows when, and I live in UK
I just went to see her this month, but my sister says it's getting worse, yet my Mom denies that....

 Does sleeping in a bra make you have breast cancer?
Even if it doesn't, are there any downsides to it?...

 are there any positives to smoking?
if there are any.if not what are negitives....

 Is it possible for a 17 year old to get cancer?
Is it possible for a 17 year old to get cancer? Just a yes or a no answer. I don't want any "its usually more common in older people"...

 my dad died on the 19th from difficulty breathing with lung cancer? can you answer this question please?
ok so my dad just died 3 days ago since its 12 am here
and i just found out his doctor was on vacation who the **** gives a sick patient a doctor on vacation people can really be evil..
and ...

 do i have a brain tumour?
i am so scared .... i have been having constant headaches and head pains ..... i went to the doctor and they said there was nothing visably wrong with me and my blood pressure was fine. then today i ...

 Help my friend is not going to be a cancer survivor what's going to happen to her ?

 Billions & billions of dollars have been raised for cancer research, but no cure. Do you think they really...
don't want to find a cure because pharmacuetical companies, hospitals and doctors make so much money off of the disease?...

 what is your opinion on the cause of the somewhat recent cancer outbreak?
my personal opinion is that geneticaly engineered foods have alot to do with it because ever since there debut in the 90's autism and cancer have skyrocketed to the point where 1 in 8 women will ...

 will my hair fall out? ?
i've got a benign brain tumour. i may need to have radiation. what is this? will my hair fall out? will i need support? i live alone and dont hav anything to do with my family and cant count on ...

 where can i talk 2 people with cancer??
i was recently diagnosed with cancer and am currently going through chemo ..........my family and friends have been gr8 but it's hard to talk 2 them because they dont realy know what i'm ...

 Is it common among teenagers that smoke cigarettes to get lung cancer?

 why can't governments try to find some medicine which can help smokers quit their habit?
The antsmoking campain can best dealt with there could be drungs specfically to help peole quiting the habit and at the same time reduce the risks of cancer....

 is it advisable not to get involved with a girl who has had breast cancer before for health reasons?
curious? :D
Additional Details
hey i was just asking. why are you all getting so mean?...

 my husband has brain cancer told about 3 mos to live ,all bills are in his name, how do I change them to mine?
all bills are in his name, I want to change them into my name, before he dies?...

 Do all cancer patients lose hair?
Do people diagnosed with ANY cancer lose hair?...

 My husband is drinking himself to death, and does 'nt know what he's doing, do I tell him or let him slip away
He is content and happy in his damaging life style, have I the right to change all that, when there is no garuantee that he will want to stop. I'm not interested in Alanon. He has asthma, ...

 Why does my mom's death seem like a bad dream?
She died over a week ago and it's still sinking in, but I feel like someone's going to pinch me and I'll wake up.

I live about 300 miles away from my dad and sisters and I ...

kate m
my mum is very ill and i don't know what to do ?
my mum has liver cancer and am only 15 i don't know what to do no one tells me what is going on i don't find out that shes going to the hospital till the day she goes i ask my dad if she ok but he doesn't tell me i know its hard for him but i would like to know some things.
and im finding very hard to stay happy for my mum and im becoming very depressed i just don't know what to do or how to act around my mum.so any advice on just how to cope or any thing really would be nice thank you.

Sally Anne
I am sorry your mom has this illness.

I think your mom and dad are trying to protect you. You need to have a quiet word with them and tell them you are old enough and strong enough to take on this serious situation about your mom.

You will need to be strong and I wish you courage at this time.

I'm so sorry to hear your mother isn't doing so well. You're her daughter though, and should know what's going on in my opinion. Sit down and have a chat with your dad and ask to be involved in these things. I know you love her and want to be involved in what's going on. Stay strong.

My friends boyfriend got cancer 2 years ago and she went to a maggies centre to get support. You go along and just chat and drink tea and eat biccies and cry if you want to or laugh if you want to. This might help you. Have a search for maggies centres to see if theres one near you. Also you could try writing your mum a wee note to say how you're feeling. I'd imagine she is trying to protect you as she'll still see you as her wee baby no matter that you're 15.

My mum had lung cancer & recently died in Feb,then i found out after she died that when she was told that she had it in Jan,she only had 2 months to live.My mum never told me this,so she just carried on as if things were normal,that she would get the treatment & she would be ok.Thats the way she wanted me & my sisters to think.I understand why she never told us,she was just protecting us from more pain,because when i found out that my mum had cancer i was a mess.Just help your mum & dad as much as you can & tell your mum that youll always be there for her & how much you love her,i hope this helps & i really hope that you get a good result out of all of this

Anime Girl
Sorry to hear that Kate. As for how you should act around you Mom, I would just act like you normally do. Give her lots of love and support and spend time with her. Prayer helps too.

Gordon C
I feel so sorry for you. Having gone thro cancer with young children I can also see where your parents are coming from. However protecting you from the truth only makes you more upset and you need to tell them this. Nothing is more powerful than your child telling you they are upset and stressed.
Just speak to them and they will love you all the more for it.

im in exactly the same situation as you but was told that my dad has 2 weeks left..

there isn't anything you can/should do. just be strong and constantly think about her and cherish every moment you have with her. you will soon come round about it and when you've accepted it you'll be okay. just dont alienate her and talk to your family. its times like this when you realise how united you's are.

Max Power says relax
Cancer is a very complex illness , and maybe your Mum and Dad dont know all the facts themselves , stay strong for your Mum and Im sure you will be told as and when they know themselves ,

Ah i really feel for you... My dad had cancer 2 years ago and he's 82 now and great, but it was hard at the time. Your parents are probably trying to protect you but also i imagine that they can deal better with it without thinking that you are worried like they are. Maybe they think ''if you dont know then you cant worry'', because believe me you would worry. Your mum has her own ways of dealing with her illness and she obviously finds it easier to keep certain things away from you, and bless her she's not doing it for any other reason than because she loves you and she is probably very scared anyway... just try to accept it for her sake and give her all the love and support you can, she can beat this with your help, be strong and use this as something that will make you stronger in the future. Your only 15 and my heart goes out to you, but this is the time you must be strong and even if your not happy and if you are depressed try not to let your mum know because she will be worried and stressed about it, and stress is really really bad when you have cancer because it makes your immune system go down and it's low enough when your fighting cancer, but DO TELL SOMEONE as its really important to sort out the way you feel, is there a close relative or friends mum you can go to? i wish i could help more and i wish you and your mum every bit of luck in the world . You can tell your mum when she's won her battle what you went through, and i bet you she will say she knew anyway, just be strong and if you havent got anyone else then dont just leave it... get back on here and ask for someone or some organisation that can help!

First of all I am sorry that you are all facing this horrible disease and hope you Mum makes it.

But like the other answerer's have said, tell your parents how you are feeling rather than bottling it up. This can save problems later on e.g. you getting angry or upset easily.

Old Fart
The only advice I can give you is to assist your mom where ever you can and just be there for her. And remember the best answer will come from praying. Keep faith. Good luck to you and all my best wishes. God bless and keep you safe,

I am very sad for you and believe that you should be involved in what is happening. Can you sit down with your parents and tell them how you feel? They are probably trying to protect you from the facts but it obviously isn't helping and if they know this, they may rethink the way they are handling things. Have you anyone else in the family you can talk to to see if they can intervene on your behalf? I have had cancer twice and the hardest thing of all was telling my children. They were older than you, they were 30 and 27 but they are still my children and I tried to protect them from pain. They said to me what you are saying that they wanted to be involved but it was still difficult for me to do it. I wish you the very best for the future.

Spend as much time as you can with your mum, ask her questions directly and tell her your concerns. Don't bottle it up as in the future you may have regrets.

You could phone the samaritans or cancer counsellors, family support groups on the net etc.

I hope your mum gets better and I appreciate how worrying it must be for you right now, but as I say - spend time with her and talk.

linda d
Hi Kate, Sorry to hear about your mum.

As other answers say, try to speak to your parents and tell them its worrying you more not be involved and what you imagine they are not telling you is probably worse than it is.

You dont need to be happy for your mum, that is too much pressure for you, your mum will know you are worrying. Just be there for her and your dad, spend time with them both, try to see when they need their own space sometimes and respect that.

Not knowing what stage the cancer it at it is difficult to give advice on how to cope, I found it easier not to think too far ahead with my mums treatment, when she was given chemo she got worse before getting better (this is normal with chemo, as it destroys the cancer it also destroys healthy cells that will recover later).

Take each day as it comes and help your mum with the day to day practicalities where you can - when my mum was undergoing chemo it was the little things she appreciated the most - finding attractive headwear for her when she lost her hair, buying lavender oil to try to help her when she couldnt sleep at night, or cream when she complained her skin was dry - you can find idea's for these things by searching the internet (if you cant afford to buy then yourself either ask your dad or show you mum, they will appreciate the effort you've made).

If she can cope with it physically let her continue to "be mum", this includes the washing and ironing so she feels valuable and has something to do to keep her active, but keep an eye on her and help when she needs it.

Also remember to take time out for yourself to try and de-stress so you can be there when she needs you. Take care.........x

I am so sorry to hear about your mums illness , it is a terrible time for all of you
You really need to speak to your dad and ask him to involve you in what is happening . For the best of reasons they are trying to protect you but not knowing can be even worse
Get him on his own and say you really want to support him as you know how badly he will be feeling , but you can't do that without him telling you what is happening
You need to be prepared to watch your dear mum battle hard against this and the treatment is not easy on the patient
I really hope that your mums disease can be pushed into remission by treatment , and also that your dad will take on board your need to be involved
Good Luck

i am really sorry to read your mum is poorly - it must be very difficult for you but show your mum and dad this question - let them know how you are feeling - they are probably keeping things from you to protect you and don't realise how you are feeling - talk to them xxx

Pooh Bear
Oh Kate you poor thing.
Is your mother well enough to talk to you? I know if it was me I would want to reassure my daughter - could you just gently ask her whats happening, and could she please let you know when she is going to the hospital as you would like to help.
If you cant ask your mother - is there a grandparent that you could talk to, an aunty perhaps? My heart goes out to you sweetheart - but you must talk to your mum, really. You dont have to be sad or fearful around her or cry but just quietly sit with her and tell her how scared you are. She probably doesnt know that you dont know anything.
I'm sure your dad thinks he is doing the best for you - but try talking to him again and say you need to know, she's your mother and you are scared and also you love him and want to help.
What a horrible time for you.
Wishing you lots of love and hope it all goes well for you. Stay strong.

Oh no!
I think you have to be honest with your parents and tell them very clearly that them trying to protect you is making things worse. Not knowing is much more stressful for you than knowing what is happening even if that is bad. Other than that just be there for your Mum and try to keep your chin up. Good luck.

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