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Health Forum    Mental Health
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 Why am I always so jealous?
I get jealous over everything. I always feel like everyone has it better off than I do. Whether its with relationships, material possesions, you name it. I always feel like I cannot compete on the ...

 How do I know if I'm suffering from the Multiple Personality Disorder?

 What was the most frightning experience you ever had?
Mine was when I was exploring the woods in back of my old house in the early 50's and found a "cadaver" under some leaves. I'm still creeped out by the looks of that thing. What ...

 How can I tell my mom and dad that I think I need someone to talk to?
I don't like myself very much and I fell that am a fat ugly nobody and I put myself down all the time. Today my mom asked me if I need someone to talk to and I said no but I think I do need some ...

 Should i quit school?
I was having problems with anxiety attacks last year during school and they have come back agian this year.

I am finding it really hard to concentrate on school some days when my mind is ...

 Is there a cure for being gay?
I dont want to be gay anymore. I have been secretly gay for 10 years, and I hate it. It is tearing my life apart. if anyone found out it would ruin my life. Every relationship I have with a girl is ...

 I want to sleep all the time,what does it mean?
i want to sleep all the time,what does it mean?
i am a full time student but dont enjoy the course that i am doing.i dont work but i hav a problem:i dont want to go anywhere and do anything.i ...

 I cant stop lying?
i cant stop lying! im 13 i allways lie to my mates and i cant stop i keep lying about having eating disorders, boyfriends, and drugs!!!! HELP! ive never had a boyfriend or drugs or eating disorders. M...

 I cant take anymore, please help?
tears are pouring down my face, hands are trembling, all i want is to die, can someone please help me, im sick of pretending to be happy when im not, i hold so much in, please help me.

 All i think about is killing myself but couldnt do it to my mum how do I stop thinking about it?

 Do people slip back into depression after they are taken off an anti-depressant?

Additional Details
I wonder if i ever will get off? I don't I just hate to take something for the rest of my life to make me happy,... I want to be happy on my own! ...

 What do u do when u can't fall asleep?
insomia is very annoying, my job is on shift, i don't want to take sleeping pills everyday, it makes me more tired .,can anyone give me some advice?...

 I need help??
I relly need to stop cutting myself am 14 but last year i did it and i whent to threipy and lied and said i did it once and got out of there like 2 times later then i started this year but u dont ...

 Is a menstrual period every 21 days or 28 days? I think mine arrives every 21!?

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yeah 21 days after the last one!...

 Who decides who's crazy?

 How to avoid suicidal attempts?
i m 17.i hav been trying several overdose attempts.using od of anti-depresents and sleeping pills but every attempt resulted in just nothing.i didn't report it to anyone like never went to ...

 I'm having a really bad day; can anyone help me to feel better by telling a joke or giving inspiration?

 Have had worst day of my new bout of depression so far - advice to get through evening please!?
How can I relax this evening? I've had a hellish day at work - nearly went home, and can't cope with a horrible evening as well.

Thank you so much....

 What is a mental hospital like and do you think i will be put in one ?
well will start with what is a mental hospital like, i mean do you just sit around doing nothing or what. The reason im asking this is because i go to my phyciatrist every week and she knew i ...

 Why are British people so obsessed with tea?
Additional Details
Other stuff-
Did Britain ever land a man on the moon? No
Did Britain ever Nuke another country? No
Did Britain invent any good technology? No

Would you feel guilty when you are not present to see your loved one die in a hospice when you are taking a?
break and intend to come back later. You never knew it would happen so fast.

why would u want to see them die anyways? thats a bit morbid.

It seems like you kinda got out easy, if you watch em die they might try and get all sentimental on you.

I think every one has guilt to a certain extreme when a loved one dies,whether it be something you should have said or done.You should feel no guilt your loved one knew you cared even though you were not there at the moment they closed their eyes for the last time.Just think of the happy times ,im very sure its what they would have wanted.Just think of your loved one as if they've stepped into another room but at this moment in time the door is locked and you are unable to get in but one day that door will open and you will be together again.

I felt guilty. The guilt has changed to regret over the years. I know I am being unreasonable but that is my feelings and not my reason. I also know it is more about the way I treated her when she was alive. No relationship is perfect. but I was there for her, respected her, loved her. But yet I wasn't there when she died. I kinda think she liked that better than if I was there when she died and not there when she was alive. I know this doesn't sound very helpful but what I want to say is it gets so much better. Yes I feel regret but it isn't the overburdening kinda of regret. It is just I wish I could have been there. Yes, I too did not know it was going to happen so fast. But don't you think it could have also been drawn out much longer? How were you or I to know the exact time? If you were the one dying would you want the one you love to stay every single second. I would not. I can't say this from experience but I think if you talk to people you will feel better faster. It has been over 6 years and until now the most I have said to anyone is "I miss her." I may be taking a big leap but I am assuming if you were with this person near the end you loved them during their life. Even if that is not the case there is no way you could have know when that person was to die and you should not blame yourself.

no need to feel guilty, I'm sure they would understand that you were there as much as you could be. and they wouldn't want you to get sick from spending too much time with them and not enough taking care of yourself.. you gave/are giving as much support as you can, don't overdo it

Can't tell u how many people i've cared for at the end of life who will have the entire clan on the death watch for hours, and as soon as all of them leave for a meal, the person passes away. Some people want to see their loved ones, but don't want their loved ones to watch them die. Don't feel guilty.

yes its human nature but your not psychic so you couldn't have known. And would it have made it better to actually watch them die.

I guess most people would feel guilty, but this is how I see it.....
People die when it's their time, when that time is ? no one knows. People who die, know who loved them and who didnt regardless of who was there and or why they weren't. We cannot control situations because we do not decide when or where the right time is. All deaths occur at the moment that GOD says it should occur. Some people say , "if only I had been there to save them" , or " if she/he wouldn't have gone that way then maybe", It doesnt matter if someone is there to try and save or if a person takes a different route, if it is written in GOD's book , it's going to happen regardless, it's THEIR time. Dont feel guilty, no one ever knows if it is going to happen fast or not. If you loved that person and respected that person and showed that person how much she/he meant to you, then dont worry, they know. They understand. They dont go to heaven thinking," He/she left while I was dying !" NO, it's not like that. The spirit understands many things that the people on earth dont. If anything, be happy that the person has died, (I dont mean that in a mean way) they are now in HEAVEN they have felt GOD closer and are at Peace with themselves and others on earth. Have faith. Be thankful to GOD for allowing that person to have been a part of your life for whatever amount of time he/she was.

Peace and love your way.

As a first reaction, yeah. It is one of those things. It takes a little time to get over it but I would understand that it would happen no matter what I or anyone else was doing.

My Evil Twin
No, not at all. People go when they're ready to go, and they're not going to stick around just because you're on the potty or smoking a cigarette.

may be. You can't know the future.

Curious J.
I completely understand where your coming from! My father was being taking care of by hospice. I was with him the night before he died but didn't make it in time the morning he died. Seeing my father the night before he died i hadn't seen him since i was ten years old. Now i know he held on for me. To see me and hold my hand for one last time kept him going. I belive that's the only reason he lived as long as he did. Knowing that he held in there for me lets me know he did love me and being there for him one last time let him know i loved him too.

i had the same situation when my Grandfather was lying in a nursing home dying. I really just needed to get out and get some fresh air since we all stayed there for about 3 days straight at his bedside. I'm glad that when i did leave and come back he had NOT passed away yet. The whole time i was gone from his bed side i was crying thinking he was gonna be gone when i came back....I wasn't away for more then 30 minutes, and thank god when i came back and he hadn't passed yet....I would have felt horrible! I really am glad i was there with him, in his last days....i wouldn't have it any other way.

i will only regret.

I don´t know, its a hard question


I dunno. I knew my dad was dying, that phone call came, and I stalled around before I went 'cause I DIDNT want to see that. I got there about 5 minutes after he died. Don't regret it, and I know he understood.

linda l
no dont fell guilty i have been there i lost a sister in may i knew she was passing i just could not handling being there i wanted to remember her the way she was alive i could not bear seeing her laying there dying i love her and will always love her i know she would understand how i felt and i know if you loved your love one they would understand to so dont worry

Duane G
you shouldn't feel guilty , that happened to me and my mother , my grandma was dieing and we had been there for hours we went to have some lunch in the cafeteria and she went just after we had walked onto the elevator , not much you can do but it certainly is not your fault

Behhar B
I think its natural to feel some guilt even though it would NOT be your fault at all. People feel guilty for things that they really can't help. The most important thing to keep in mind would be the fact you were there taking care of them for their last days, making them feel loved and comforted.

You were there !!!!!! And that's what counts. You don't have to be there for a person's last breath. I was there when my dad and my brother died. But that isn't what mattered. Sitting there by their bedside talking to them whether they heard me or not mattered.

Jan O
I wouldn't feel guilty. There is a distinct possiblity that this person chose to wait til they were alone to pass, so as not to upset family members. It's been known to happen. You can't choose when one is going to pass. Why feel guilty? You were THERE for them, period. Don't live with guilt over that! You were doing what the living do. Peace be with you..........:)

I'll bet a person who loved you really wouldn't want you to be there to see the moment they die. Maybe they waited until you left to 'let go' so they could spare you the trauma of seeing the moment? If you were supportive of them throughout their illness, they knew you cared and loved them. That's much more important to them than knowing your were there at the moment of their death. Wish them peace, and try to find peace for yourself in knowing they are not longer suffering.

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