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Health Forum    Mental Health
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 Am I paranoid?
There are a group of guys at work who sit in the corner and laugh all the time and take the mickey out of everyone in the room without them knowing what about. They are famous for it. Whats the best ...

 What do you focus on to go through the day?
What do you do or think about to get you through the day or to look forward to?...

 Why do i want to hurt my boyfriend when i know i love him deeply?
i love my boyfriend, he is the best thing that ever happened to me, but i tell him i want to break up with him and when he cries i smile..i dont know whats wrong with me..i love him so much but when ...

 Not waving but drowning?
I feel completely lost right now, I'm so confused and I don't know what I really want. I'm not happy in my job (I'm a junior doctor), but I only started a few months ago and I'...

 If you were depressed, what would you do to alleviate a depressed mood?
What usually works for you? I know everybody is different but I'm trying to get ideas that can help when feelings of sadness and hopelessness hit....

 When you sad what do you do??
I go to bed and hide under the blankets and cry..
Additional Details
When YOUR sad Duh again I can't spell. guess i should put the beer down....

 Is It Bad That I Have No Fear Of Death?
im being completely serious. I dont have any fear of death or anything. I plan on being a Marine sometime soon, and i know i will pull some duty over in Iraq or whoever we are fighting. Im not ...

 How do i explain the cuts on my arms?
i get really confused and i do stupid things all of the time and i hurt myself alot. i'm so tired of how bad i feel sometimes but i don't want to tell my family because they will judge ...

 I want my old life back, where can i get a time machine?
5 years ago everything was perfect, but now its the contrast in my mind and life, how did it get this bad? i gradually dissolved over the way, why did i let myself do it, how do i get out? how do i ...

 How to over come people telling you that you are fat?
ok so i am 5'0"@ 115 lbs many people tell me that i am fat i dont think so but every time someone mentions it ,i get really upset and it brings me down what should i do ?...

 I need help im 13!!!!!!!!!!!!?
-im 13 and a boy
-not even my cousins talk 2 me
-i have no friends(not even 1)
-i get bullied
-i cry every day
-My sisters the definition of spoiled
-im never treated ...

 Maybe i should kill myself?
i cant fined part time work i cant support my hamsters they would probably be better off without ...

 How do i go about telling my parents about...?

please read that question first.
im really not in the mood to type all that ...

 Why do I feel like this? Please help me!?
I... I just want to burn things...like, a lot. It bothers me that I'd take so much pleasure in something like that. It's not just pyromania anymore. I'm having dark thoughts about ...

 I'm an addict to video games. What should I do?
I love video games and anything related to it. When I get a new game I play it till I beaten it and I don't care how it takes. I love playing online in a certain game. I love the adrenaline rush ...

 I feel like an evil spirit is messing with me or am I just going crazy?
Sometimes during the day when I go to sleep or at night as well I always wake up feeling like someone is on top of me and I have to stuggle to try to wake myself up. But this time it bugs me because I...

 On waking up in the morning I sometimes wonder if it`s worth while living another day. What can I do about it?

 Can someone die from giving up on life?
trust me i don't wanna die i was just curious... for example if somebody had an illness or something and the doctor told them they only had less than 10 years to live but they gave up and die ...

 How do I stop procrastinating?
I am a straight A student in high school, and I always work very hard at school. I listen very well in class, and I try to do whatever homework I can before I go home. However, when I do get home, I ...

 There is this little voice in my head that keeps saying KILL KILL?
This little voice also tells me to ask weird questions so people will think I'm crazy. The voice kinda sounds like Homer Simpson. The problem is the voice never tells me any thing useful like ...

Please help im not attracted to my own race?
so basically im a white man and i dont find white women romantically attractive. this is because my experiences of white families have generally been negative, and i cant see myself married to a white woman with white kids. i can only see myself married to a black/ asian/ maybe hispanic woman. but i really dont want to be like this.. theres this white girl who i slept with last night and it just didnt quite feel right. its so strange because i think shes a really good person, and we really connect. if she was dark skinned then it would be no problem at all. the thing is, i feel really bad for having a problem with her skin colour (particularly as her skin is the same colour as mine, its ridiculous), but i just dont know what i can do about it? maybe if i change my opinion of white families so that its more positive. if i had been close to my parents in my teens this would probably not be a problem. i feel guilty for having this problem and i have no idea what to do! advice?
thank you

firstly, there's no such thing as race. There are more variations among those having the same "skin colour" than between white, black, yellow, pink, etc.
race does not exist. you'll be attracted to someone based on their personality and if they are approximately as attractive as you.

'race' is a social construct that has little scientific evidence to back it up. It is simply a way of placing values (positive or negative) on other people. A life-long loving relationship is built on both intellectual and physical attraction. So stop wasting your energy fretting about this minor issue and focus on finding someone who is right for you (and stop labelling people)

Laughing Hyena
80,000 years ago everyone on the Earth was black. Every white person on this planet was descended from dark skinned people who lived in Western Africa. Africa is the Motherland of all humans. Then people started spreading around the world. They just happened to move northward, and in so doing, away from the direct sunlight and heavy UV rays on the equator. In colder climates, sunlight is less direct. So, having darker skin would still protect from UV, but having darker skin also would prevent Vitamin D from forming. Vitamin D could form ok on the equator in dark skinned people because the sunlight is very strong there. But not up north. So, over the generations, humans adapted lighter skin to survive better away from the equator.

So, what I'm saying is don't get involved with someone you aren't attracted to because we are all the same anyway.

How old are you? Maybe it's a phase? I used to like men in uniform until I dated a policeman and he was a twart. Maybe at this time you just fancy something different? Why not go with the flow and do what you like, as long as you're not hurting anybody. I like men who are the same as me, but you like people who are different, so do it. Maybe a mixed race girl would be a good type for you?

Why are you being dramatic about it? Attraction is in the eye of the beholder. Generally I don't think you should rule anyone out though, no matter if they are your own colour or a different one. In the end though, you can't change who you are attracted to.

Surely being with someone who you connect with is much deeper and more meaningful than their skin colour or any other physical feature they have?

Think about *why* you feel that you are not so attracted to white women and try to identify what themes in your past have caused you to think in this way. Also think about what qualities it is that people of a different race have that make them so attractive to you. Is it that you feel white chicks are too "normal" and all the same? Are you attracted to people of a different race because they have such different cultural values to you and offer a sense of the unknown that you just don't feel white women can offer you?

Beautiful, interesting, good people really do come in all shapes, sizes and races. Do you truly believe this or is your preference just skin deep? If this is a case of "opposites attract", maybe try seeking out women with different interests to you, who maybe come from different parts of the country, with different family backgrounds, who are empowered and confident women and are proud to be who they are. Your assumption here is that all white people are the same and all coloured people are all the same, and the diversity of everyone in this country and on this planet proves that this is simply not the case!!

Dude, I don't think you should feel guilty. In fact, I think a lot of other answers are right that it's not really a problem if you only fancy dark-skinned girls--it makes you more continental ;-)

I think if you try not to worry about who you fancy and WHY, then at length you may find as your situation in life changes that you are attracted to white woman when you weren't before. Seriously though, don't fret so much! xxx

EDIT: centre seat's response is quite entertaining, don't you think? ;)

Satan's avatar
Look inside yourself and your past experiences with white women. Although they MAY have been bad, this should not be something that puts you off an entire race of people.

This lady you slept with and felt the connection with, is she a nice person, emphasize on the PERSON, not what she looks like. Feelings for a person, if they are strong enough should not be ignored solely due to their ethnicity.

Find someone, anyone who can treat you well, be they white, black, asian, hispanic. Personality is more important than the color of their skin, keep telling yourself this.

I honestly don't think it has anything to do with being close to your parents. It's a preference to who you want to date or marry. That's your business. It's your life. You don't need approval from anyone. The other thing I would suggest is that if your not really attracted to white women, then don't lead them on and sleep with them. Be happy, you only get one life. Best of luck.

you need to move on from your past for one, and its ok to be attracted to these women, there is no wrong in it.

you cant help who your attracted to and forcing yourself to could result in you being unhappy

sally c
Preference, some black men or women arent attracted to their same rac, as long as your not racist against your own race then who cares! you may surprise yourself and find a white woman one day who's personality is perfect and you will be attracted to her becasue of that, dont stress each to thier own

don't stop the music ♪
what is there to feel guilty about? Do you feel guilty because you don't find men attractive even though you are a man?

It's your own preference. I personally find black men attractive and I am an Arab....I don't really find Arab men attractive but I can't help that.

it should not be about colour, you have obviously had problems with people that are white and you think you can solve the problem by staying away from white people it aint gunna work. solve the root problem.

steven e
thats life.

Lost Soul
ppl tend not to have contol of things, go with what you are attracted to, it isn't evil or immoral. you have no reason to feel guilt.

If you slept with a white woman and you connected (so you say) then what is this question about. First you say you can't accept white women and in the next breath you are sleeping with one..................get a life.

Just date dark skinned women, ...no problem.

If it is really bothering you, go & speak to a counsellor about it. Otherwise, different people like different things. I work at a strip club & you often get customers asking if there are any black/indian/thai/blondes/whatever, in as it is simply their preference. Don't beat yourself up about it too much.

alan s
Stop whining and do what you want

if your not attracted to certain people who cares? don feel bad move on and find someone u are attracted to

but that doesnt mean you can use girls as in sleep with them and say your not attracted to them- that u should feel bad about.

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