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Health Forum    Mental Health
Health Discussion Forum

 Anyone feel the same?
That you born into a bad life, everything gone wrong, and it will only continue growing old like that.....


 What is the best cure for depression? medications or therapy?
...


 In my shoes what would you do?
I stopped taking the medication for anxiety/depression in about May becuase of the end of school and beginning summer basically and I was drinking more and needed to be able to stay up past 10 oclock ...


 English people:What kind of thè do you prefer?(Lemon, peach, mint),and when do you drink it?

Additional Details
sorry ,tea not thè...


 Why do people lie?
...


 Please help me?
Whenever winter comes I become very depressed, I know this isn't uncommon, but with summer so close to being over, I find myself thinking about how I'm going to manage to face the winter, I...


 Been asked to be a?
Coffin bearer at my mates funeral next week am still to upset at his passing AS HE WAS MATE OF 42 YEARS all the other lads have said yes and they are still asking me what do i do HELP...


 Advise on grief/trauma for a 7yr old boy suffering loss of father and step dad in the space of a year?
When my son was 3 my late husband hung himself in our house and my son was exceptionally close to him. a year later his own father collopased of an overdose on the front porch and my son witnessed ...


 I need someone. please (depressed and Suicidal)?
I am depressed and Suicidal, I am going to tell what the problems are. I remember when I was in school I had tons of friends, but Never a girlfriend, I have never had a relationship, I feel no one ...


 Panic attacks?
i really need help. i have panic attacks regularly (well, more irregularly but on a regular basis if that makes any sense...) and they are making my life so hard. i just started a new job that i LOV...


 I sometimes get scared when i think about my parents dying or me dying.. what can i do?
How can i accept the fact that my love d ones will die some day and then i will remain alone. And also that i will pass away one day.
I'm 27 and as i grow older, i have this fear....


 I am scared to tell my parents that i feel suicidal?
i have been feeling suicidal over 1 year. i have never tryed to commit suicide but in the near future i will. i want to talk to my parents about that but i am scared that they wont understand me ...


 I feel like crap 24/7?
i hate being on the computer sometimes. sometimes when im talking on the phone i just stop talking and fell like smashing my phone. i can barely concentrate when watching youtube videos. reading long ...


 What would you say to someone who has lost all their hope?

Additional Details
THANK YOU ALL! MY MUM TOLD ME TO ASK THAT BECAUSE SHE WAS FEELING DEPRESSED AND NOW SHE FEELS BETTER KNOWING THAT PEOPLE CARE!...


 Do you think your addicted to yahoo answers?
my husband keeps teasing me....


 What makes you most angry?
there is one particular vulture who is the bane of my existance, my mother (who i have nothing to do with but she is insiduous due to her "blood ties") what's the bane of your ...


 How do you manage your temper and emotions?
at times you just can't get yourself to cool down after a fiery argument. The angry fire in you keep burning. What would you do to cure this....


 Whats the best method for coping with depression?

Additional Details
iv seen 2 therpaists they said they coldnt help me, iv been depressed and self harming for four years so now this is nto one of those every body has it phases, i cant ...


 Help me!!! please read on?
i have 2 blades hidden in my room. i have been contemplating cutting my wrists and actually did it once (just to see how it feels). i really want to do it again but if my parents, sister, or friend ...


 Is being shy being childish
ok so im very shy and if someone who ive never met (but i talk to on the net) wants to call me i will freak out and my heart will start racing. so this guy i was talkin 2 was sayin i was being ...



this is me...
My husband lied to me about something simple, now i cant help but think he lies to me about things that......?
Were important! When I asked he denied and said i was crazy! I am checking his cell phone, bank statements, i try to get on his online banking how far is too far! I keep thinking I am going to find something out,Im convinced that he will lie to me if i ask! ( This is not the first time he has lied) I feel like this is stessing me out and making me someone im not! and i feel like i am going crazy!
                     





chris l
Rating
if you have to go thru that, maybe you should take a good long look at what is going on and why. you cant even spell stessing. confront the guy and say exactly what you feel and why. if that doesnt work, do what you have to do.


boi prof
Well if its to stressful forget about it if you catch him talk aobut it if he keeps doing it go to to a marriage therapist work it out.


Nicole M.
Rating
I do this all of the time.

I find out my boyfriend lied to me about something really stupid and trivial, and i get super paranoid and think "well if he has to lie to me about something small, he HAS to be lying to me about something really important"

Trust me, you will torture yourself if you keep doing this. You married him for a reason, and he married you for a reason.

I've noticed that when I get paranoid like this me and myboyfriend fight over everything, and it's nobodies fault but my own.
You should talk to him about how little white lies make you nervous, and ask him to just be honest with you about everything, even if you do get mad because he admitted to accidentally putting a dent in your car when his baseball went off track :)


kel
hey you need to calm down. i know that it is not easy to be calm! but it will just drive you out of your mind if you dont. does he know that you found out that he told you was a lie? if so calmly ask him why he lied. i know why you are going through his stuff,but it is not the right thing to do!! you said that he has lied before, so you know that he does it. and if it was something small you would not be asking what you should!!! if the the trust is gone there is nothing left!!! you need cousling to regain the trust, or if it is past that point you just need to leave!!!!!!


sassy
Calm down sweetie..
I think you and your husband should seek counseling. I would have suggested perhaps talking this out, alone.. or even seeking the help of your minister.. family..
But you're very stressed out about this. You need an unbiased third person.. and you two need to go together, if possible.
I am so sorry you're going through this.. <warm northern huggs>


iyikka14
Rating
WAT DID HE LIE ABOUT?????


G. M.
Very simple, if the trust is gone, so is the marriage.


Missylicious
Rating
If you continue digging you might not like what you'll find...so stop!If its a white lie why worry yourself......sometimes lies are told to protect us from ourselves.....


DesignR
you start snooping around my personal stuff, you'd find your clothes in the yard. Thats the wrong approach.


Sassy OLD Broad
Sounds like you DON'T trust the guy and feel like you have to be on his tail all of the time. Just stop it. Give him some breathing room. Would you want him to be snooping around your personal things? I think everyone deserves privacy. Stop obcessing about this and come to terms with his small infractions....and stop looking for something to hang over his head.


Jilmel
Rating
Don't worry; you are being PARANOID! Everyone tells little white lies all the time. Think about you, have you ever lied to him? Time will help. But try not to dwell and stop nosing in his private life.


Bapboy
You know you're being ridiculous I suspect which is the reason for you posting this.
Maybe there is a perfectly rational explanation as to why your husband lied to you. Perhaps he thinks you will jump to the wrong conclusions? Perhaps he thinks your reaction might not be reasonable?

Whatever, you need to stop what you're doing now and talk to your husband. The only way you can start trusting him is to get everything out in the open. You have to give him no reason to lie to you. All this paranoia is not good for either of you.


Jen G
Rating
Doesn't sound like a simple lie if you are checking bank statements and such. Maybe you are just being paranoid. That's no way to live, eventually if he is lying you will find out.


notyou311
Rating
It sounds like you may need a private investigator. The guy is not legit.


Mr. Nerdlinger
Rating
Going crazy? No, honey. You ARE crazy. Paranoid like a mouse in a snake cage.


treepeople88
What did he lie to you about?


duck_michelle
Sorry to say, but if they are able to lie about simple things chances are they are lying about other things as well.


TXChristDem
IF this is a pattern of behavior with him, then you need to tell him that in order to earn the right to be trusted back, that he must be willing to go through this amount of scrutiny into his daily activities. If he's not willing, then he's not worth it and he's probably lying about many other things.


Laurie
Rating
You're going to make yourself sick, trying to catch him. let this one go, (unless it was REALLY huge, like he stole your checkbook and emptied your account, or cheated on you.) Count this as a learning experience, and watch his actions, now that you've let it go. Does HE continue to bring it up? Re-hasing the guilt over and over? (he's guilty). Or does he move on, and act as if..."O.K. i guess she's over it now". BUT, if you feel that gut feeling again, about something entirely differant than this instance; call him on it, say "listen, I know what you've done, you need to tell me why, and then we can go on, like last time" Then when he confesses, you can dump him, or forgive....but, let's face it it's hard to not stress about this, and it's hard to trust a loved one who continues to hurt you, Good luck!


benninb
Rating
you need to go to counseling. Trust is very important, and you have to have it to have a relationship


sadhu
Rating
Well, I've never been married myself, but I've seen this type of behavior before in other marriages though. There is a good chance that your intuition is correct, but I would not recommend confronting him without some solid evidence. One thing is for sure, sooner or later the lies will catch up with him.


Thot77
Rating
Tell him that you asked him a question you know well what the answer is and he lied to you. Tell him you caught him lying. Tell him it hurt your feelings but if he was nonchalant about it, let him know you feel he's not taking you seriously and need to go to marriage counseling.


tabbycat02
it is hard to trust someone after they have lied and yes if he is going to lie over something simple he's sure to tell the big lies too. but checking every thing personal on him is not going to help you any i learned that curiosity kills the cat. i found out the more i snooped the more i got hurt and depressed.


Not Important
I would assume that since you are very concerned about his "white" lies that you have never done the same. And with the evidence of what you are doing now due to this, I see that the trust in your marriage is faltering. I can speak from personal experience that I too have lied to my fiance. But it was at a cost of trying to handle my personal issues on my own. In the end it was better to share the weight of them with her. Your actions come at a cost as well..my fiance did the same thing you did and that caused me to form a barrier of resentment. You think to yourself if someone lies to me..they will do the same thing over and over again...so are you actions going to continue just the same and are you telling him honey I am researching your everymove.. if not then whom is "lying" to whom. In the end I would suggest marriage counseling if you two intend to make it work.


gurrrly
it probably takes more than one simple lie for you to think that he's lying to you about other things. of course you would be feeling crazy because whatever it was that he lied to you about and in the past isn't so simple to you. you are trying to figure what's going on, but coming up with no answer. you need to make sure that it's not your paranoia that makes you feel that he is lying to you. if you know for sure, you may need to set boundaries with him, so that the behaviour doesn't happen again and again.


Heather
Rating
keep yourself busy hun!!!! force yourself not to think about things that haven't happened yet. Deal with those things that are presently going on...don't look ahead and don't look back. The mind is a horrible thing to waste on what ifs! people lie! its a natural thing. if you feel he is cheating on you...protect yourself (condomwise) and talk it out. If he doesn't want to talk things over with you (when its good for him within good reasonable timeframe) then ask yourself if you really want to be with this particular relationship. It's your life, It's your call, you can't change anyone but yourself.

good luck


jesuslover
Get over it!! Trust me, this will make you miserable. There's nothing you can do about his lying, if he's lying. The truth will come out in time. Just be sure you are healthy enough to do something about it when it does.


Much Love!!


Erik E
Rating
If he has lied before he will do it again....

Make your choice.


Amy N
Rating
I was married to a guy like that, and for some reason, he would lie about stupid things. Nothing ever turned out to be that he was hiding anything big.

Here's the problem though. He has broken your trust, and it's understandable that you now feel the need to "catch" him in a lie. He's proven to you that he DOES lie...then, he tells you that you are crazy for questioning him. This is the typical moves of a manipulator, and he's putting his dishonesty off on you, making it your fault, and you're accepting it. Now, the only way you feel that you can save yourself is by busting him. But, the thing is, he will still lie!

Honey, it's a never ending circle. You're going to drive yourself nuts trying to catch him up in a lie. Think about what you will do IF you catch him. Will it make any difference? Will it stop the lying? Will he turn it on you again?

Decide what you are and are not willing to accept in your relationship, then tell him, and stick to it. It sounds like you need some counseling before it gets too far out of hand. Tell him what you want, and if he won't go for help, then go on your own, find your own strength, and get help with making decisions on what you inevitably want to do about this.

I don't think your marriage is in that deep of a hole that you can't fix it. Hang in there, and be strong. Believe in YOU, and be true to yourself, and you'll get through this.

:0)


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