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Health Forum    Mental Health
Health Discussion Forum

 Do you know of any online psychologist that can help me deal?
with my problems? Can you please let me know. ...

 why am i sleepy all the time?
i get 8-10 hours of sleep at night but i am really sleepy all day.i dont like being sleepy cuz its getting in the way of my life.why am i sleep?what do i do?
Additional Details
i can sit ...

 Will a psychiatrist help me ?
I've been depressed for several years. I have chronic suicidal ideation. I have made several plans. The only reason I don't want to kill myself is the pain it would cause my family.

 can constant anxiety lead to temporary depression?
Ive been constantly anxious for the past 3 weeks over something completely irrational and now i cant have fun doing nothing. thoughts?...

 Paxil/Wellbutrin and Pregnancy?
I have panic disorder/ severe anxiety and cannot function without medication. The only combination of drugs that has actually worked with me is 12.5 miligrams of Paxil and 150 miligrams of Wellbutrin ...

 I get nervous over every little thing, and its leading to panic attacks. What should I do?
I can't afford health insurance to get meds. So I'm kind of stuck. But I cant go on with this nervousness. Im losing my mind....

 What is wrong with me?
First of all, I am a very shy person and have been shy all of my life. I have never conversed with people much in my lifetime. Anyway, I have a problem when I am having a conversation with someone; I ...

 Anyone else suffer from hypervigilence or 'startle syndrome'?
As a victim of domestic violence as a child and then a battered wife I jump at the slightest sound or movement that is unexpected. Some people think it is funny. Suffering from post traumatic ...

 Do you think its irresponsible for MASH's theme tune to be called 'Suicide is Painless'?
or do they have a point that in fact Suicide is painless?...

 Odd-ish question.?
Well I googled it like a maniac but I couldn't find it, is there a scientific term for the fear of living? I know that Theodore Roosevelt said that "The worst of all fears is the fear of ...

 Social anxiety?
For those who have it or know someone close with it, have you tried to treat it, get help?

I had a doctor friend recommend me a therapist, however I'm not quite comfortable telling a ...

 Stress - flustarasion?
How do you know when your stresed or flusterated?

What do you do when you get that way?...

I did something that made my mother that will inflict her forever. And I have been feeling guilt and depression ever since. What do I do to feel better?...

 why some people wants to take the revenge with a lot of hatred?
a woman attacking her ex for months ,cyberstalking in an anonymous internet forum only wanting to attack, insult, harass etc thinking she s a victim and the other a criminal and the true s the ...

 how do i stop my inappropriate speech?
i have started to say out loud my thoughts...........example i was out and a really ugly dog came bounding towards me i actually said out loud "what the hell is that?" when i thought i was ...

 anxiety and deja vu?
i experience strong senses of anxiety and deja vu. how can i stop this?...

my daughters father has bipolar and manic depression. he uses it as an excuse. he never can be blamed for anything bcuz it's not him its his disorder. how do i ...

 Anxiety about dying won't go away!?
The thought of dying comes and goes and it's causing me to be very anxious and panicky. I'm always checking my pulse, looking at myself in the mirror, and when I'm paler than usual, I ...

 When you try to explain mental illness, how come people don't want to understand?
Maybe I just meet very ignorant people, but both people online and offline completely dismiss my my arguments about how mental illness is debilitating and how it can truly affect each aspect of a ...

 What are some common misconceptions about your condition?
I myself have schizophrenia and have encountered people who assume that I must have split personality or be prone to violent behaviour, neither of which are true. What kind of false assumptions have ...

Why do domestic violence victims feel ashamed?

tehy dont lol tehy just feel glad that they did it lol but pissed that they got caught lol ughhh!

Charles S
that's a good question. on one hand i feel bad for them, on the other i don't. because they never do anything about it. when the cops are called, they don't press charges, they dont divorce or break up with the abuser and they just let it happen time after time. i don't get it. especially when there are shelters and things that will help them out completely free. i guess they just don't have any self respect.

They feel ashamed because they think that they should have "seen" a sign before the abuse started. The abuser doesn't start the abuse full blown immediately. They also feel as others would consider them stupid, foolish and/or weak. The abuser uses a mind game with them. It's a difficult situation to be in and it is extremely hard. If the abuse victim doesn't have support of their family and friends they are more likely to die in the hands of the abuser.

The abuser will go out of his/her way to keep family and friends away. Using the victims feelings of shame, embarrassment, fear, confusion, lack of self esteem and self worth to his/her advantage. The abuser thrives on all of these feelings in order to have power and gain control to spew his/her self hatred onto another human being.

I was in an abusive relationship when I was in high school.

At first the shame arose from the feeling that I deserved the abuse.

Now I am ashamed of it because people keep asking me why I stayed in the relationship. I stayed in the relationship because I believed my partner was not responsible for the abuse. It sounds stupid, and people keep telling me that and asking me about it. I know that remaining in the relationship was ill-advised, but I feel like some people judge me for staying in the relationship.

I hope that helped answer your question.

Pink Panther
They feel ashamed because their life is in shambles. Everyone wants a nice family or significant other, and suddenly, when a person becomes abusive to them, it's embarassing. Abuse takes a serious toll on a victim's self esteem. For this reason, they probably blame themselves for the abuse, don't think they deserve better, and might be embarassed that they have "failed" to chose a better partner/be a part of a better family. They think, well maybe I wasn't so stupid, he wouldn't have beat me. The abuser makes the victim feel incompetent and afraid.

Sometimes the abusive partner makes them feel at fault. Most times the persons confident is not too high either. It would also sadden someone to realise how their situation looks to others. Police arent too good at dealing with them either. We need more coompassionate ppl.

Hopefully Helpful
I think one reason they feel ashamed is because on some level they know they are not sticking up for themselves. They are allowing the abuse to continue. They think they cannot do anything about their situation.

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