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Health Forum    Mental Health
Health Discussion Forum

 how can i forgive and *like* my mom?
How can I get over this?
I was abused as a child, but I can't seem to convince myself that it was real. I tell myself it wasn't even a big deal...that people in the past went through ...


 When you walk into a room full of strangers, what is your first thought?
...


 Why do we talk in our sleep?
I want toknow why we still talking while we're deep ...


 what are the symptoms of ADD?
the symptoms of add....


 Is it possible to overcome depression if you are unwilling to change...?
much about your life? Like if you just want to accept the depression, not go to counseling or take meds do you think a person will overcome it? What if they isolate themselves.....will this help? T...


 How can I cope with PTSD if I have memory loss over whatever happened?
I'm 16, and can't remember before i was 10. I'm very depressed and I used to be suicidal. I'm always super aware of my surroundings and have very fast and uncontrollable ...


 ANXIETY!!!!serious answers only plz?
I used to be very outgoing i was in school, in clubs after school, never had anything wrong speech wise. After some horrible events including a head on car collision, ive basically quit school ...


 What's my wife's personality disorder? If she goes into a venue with lots of people, she is sitting there ?
constantly looking around the room, hoping to be seen, making mindless conversation with everyone.

But she doesn't forge deep relationships, except with the kid....


 I'm obsessed with having something wrong with me! What's wrong?
I have an obsession to wear things like knee braces, bandages around my arms, etc. Why can't i just be normal?...


 Crying at work. What can I do?
I am a very sensitive person and when-ever someone argues with me at work, afterwards I cry.

Does this happen to anyone else?

...


 Wats the best way?
What is the best way to come out of depression? And what are the symptoms that tell you that you are having depression?...


 How does depression counselling work?
...


 How do you get out of a depressive slump? Not wanting to be social etc.?
Going through a break up and stress with school. All want to do is sleep and stay in bed or watch movie/read book at home. Do NOT want to leave the house and dread having to go out and be social ...


 What foods and drinks have anti-depressant effects?
I have been drinking red bull a few times every week now and have noticed it has anti-depressant effects
i just googled it and others have noticed too, one of the sites noted that "Inositol&...


 I used to be so patient before, now I'm irritable most of the time. What are the possible causes?
I was always the easy going, flexible, pleasant person. Now I'm in my mid thirties and I'm becoming irritable, impatient and I feel angry most of the time. What's going on? Should I ...


 What is the irrational behind one who has been in an abusive relationship and they treat me like the enemy.
I dated a wonderful woman for over a year, but as I told her at one point, it seemed that as we grew closer, she would emotionally attack me over what I felt were minor issues. She would put me ...


 Do you get bummed out whenever you have to spend a holiday alone?
I can't seem to get used to the idea that I'm not part of a circle of friends close enough to want to include me in their holiday plans. I get very involved in self-pity at times like this....


 What does it mean when a person has these problems?
irrational fears, constant worry, crying, feeling lonely all the time for no reason, scared to go places alone, feeling guilty all the time, praying to get through work, feeling scared to go or leave ...


 Am I a sociopath?
I find it extremely easy to hurt others and I use people for my own advantage without even caring. I lie almost all of the time to everyone. There is no one that I know that I have never told a major ...


 Why do I cry when I see my mom drink?
When I see my mom drink...I cry..she doesn't know this..but sometimes I just break down and cry. Also if my dad drinks at the same time as her it's a double impact. But if my dad drinks ...



Zardoz
When someone says or does something negative to you, is it you or them that makes you feel bad?
Is your view of yourself strong enough to withstand the negative actions of others? Do you make yourself feel bad because of someone else's actions? Are they really pulling themselves up by bringing you down?
                      









alwaysmadefunof
YES,IF THEY SAY NEGATIVE THINGS ABOUT ME I FEEL REALLY BAD AND IT'S GONNA HURT FOR A WHILE.I JUST IGNORE THEM AND TRY TO PROVE THEM WRONG.I DON'T LET OOTHERS PUT ME DOWN. I MAY HAVE A LOT OF BAD HABITS BUT I CAN OVERCOME THEM. I MAY NEED TO IMPROVE MYSELF IF THEY SAY SOMETHING BAD ABOUT ME. PEOPLE ARE SO JUDGEMENTAL THESE DAYS AND WE HAVE NOTHING TO DO ABOUT IT. I'M NOT TRYING TO CHANGE FOR NOBODY BUT I'M TRYING TO CHANGE FOR MYSELF((TO PROVE THEM THAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY WORNG ABOUT ME)).


Alex62
Rating
How I respond makes me feel bad.

Much of the time I'm strong enough, sometimes less so, sometimes it feeds a bipolar mood swing and that's something I just don't get a whole hell of lot of say about (and it's generally not about what someone said or did, just timing).

Rarely now do I make myself feel bad about another's actions. That's one of the good things about aging, you get more and more comfortable with other people's stuff being about them, not you.

I think people who do put downs are more about pulling you down to their level than pulling themselves up. Besides, someone who consistently puts people down typically has self-esteem or emotional issues that need help but they can't figure out. It's sad.

People always respond to the environment. That's a survival instinct. How you choose to respond, however, is your choice with some exceptions. Someone else can try to make you feel bad, but it is you who either lets them get to you or not. Generally, it's impossible to completely disregard, which is why most healthy people do not choose to be around people who bring them down. The healthiest way I've found to deal with this is to acknowledge how someone makes me feel, decide what that's telling me, and then let the feelings go. Just saying something doesn't bother you isn't always being honest with yourself.


in_light_7
Rating
Regarding your last question:
That's like trying to climb a ladder by pushing the rungs below you.
(Bullies are bringing down the very ladder that would help them get higher.)


theroadwetake
Yes they are self medicating by absuing you. They will never stop and they have to do it over and over. Most will never change. I have year and years with this and could type a list of over 150 statements if i wanted too. Most if which is covert abuse meaning its hidden.


gigi
One chooses how to feel, you choose how to process negative feelings and know that you are in control. This takes a lot of practice and working on self esteem is key. If someone says something negative about me, I know, or I choose to know, that I am better than that and they do not know me. If someone has to make someone else feel bad, it is usually that person with the problems. Being young is the absolute peak time for letting thigs get to you. As soon as one starts to gain life experience these things do not mean as much. Good Luck!


Pearl Wagoner
Rating
its you usually insercurity of your self No one can hurt your feelings unless you allow it


mary
Rating
It depends.
some you can blow it off but if it is a vicious slanderous lie
that is detrimental to your reputation then you need to fight it.

some people have a tendency to believe everything they hear, so it can do a lot of damage to you.

Winston Churchill said, "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its boots on."


steinbeck11
If Jesus can cry out from the cross, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do."

I surely can walk in forgiveness for someone being negative towards or against me.

It's only the TRUTH that hurts--not misinterpretations and misrepresentations.

I sometimes feel bad for the person but mostly I just ask God to show me a new way to reach the person through a spirit of Love and acceptance.


The LG
Rating
I'm a very sensitive person and get hurt easily. I try to work on it, but I don't seem to be making much progress. Sometimes I think I would love to be one of those "tough, I can take anything" type of person. I know quite a few of them. I watch them and see how they act with one another, how they take criticism and arguments and compare them with how I would react in that situation. I usually totally shrink from confrontation and do not stand up for myself. This seems to tell people I have no respect for myself and thus I get treated poorly.

When I have tried to stand up for myself, I feel so awkward and I stutter around like a fool so I don't know which is worse.

But I remember one time in junior high, this one kid was always being nasty to me. Finally one day, half way through the school year, I got plain fed up I asked him, "Why are you so mean to me."
And he answered, "Because you were born."
I responded, "Well, then take it up with my parents then, I wasn't there at the time."

The kid never bothered me again.

So I guess it does work, I'm just not very good at it.


snowwillow20
Rating
I think it's me that makes me feel bad. I just can't stand for people to be angry with me. It makes me sad. I think it makes them feel better to put you down.


Granny PJ
Good question.

Personally, what someone says or does has little bearing on how I feel. If someone feels the need to say something negative, or act in a negative way, I don't encourage them by responding.

I guess that experience (and age) has taught me that folks who feel the need to put someone down, gossip, or treat others badly, are the people I actually need to feel sorry FOR.


fretochose
if someone calls you a truck.....does that make you a F150?
nope.
just because someone makes a negative statement/action toward you doesn't make it true.

it all depends on your attitude

granny pj has it right


drewster
Rating
It's like asking which came first...the chicken or the egg? I guess at the end of the day, it's your own self-perception that will decide the magnitude effect of the negative stimulus. Someone once said you're more likely to recall negative experiences more readily than positive ones. No one likes to be confronted with negative comments or experiences. However, if your self-perception is healthy, the impact of negativity is less likely to have a profound, pervasive effect than if you already suffer from a depleted sense of self-worth and/or self-perception.


Cat S
While there's that Eleanor Roosevelt quote that basically says that no one makes you feel inferior without your consent, I think that even the most confident people probably feel bad when something nasty is said to them, about them or done to them from time to time. Often nasty people are bullying you to make themselves feel better then again, some people's motivations are just to be plain mean. Take a leaf out of confident people's book and just ignore them and get over it.


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