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Health Forum    Mental Health
Health Discussion Forum

 I was raped recently and im afraid to tell...?
When I was younger i was hurt all the time and a year ago i was raped and i reported it to the police and they pretty much called me a lier and didn't believe me... all I wanted was someone to ...


 I'M AFRAID TO LIVE ALONE. I'm running out of money and have no family.?
Im a only child, no brothers or sisters & have lost both of my parents. I live alone & will run out of my inheartance money next month with no place to go. Ive filed for disability and social ...


 where can i get help?
my dad has committed suicide just 2 days ago, and i need someone to talk to to help me, either people who are in the same situation or just any body who could help me, i am so depressed. a therapist ...


 What was the best day in your life?
give me details

then when your done hopefully you will feel ...


 Am I over weight or fat?
I don't understand...... I led the grade in pushups. Tied for first in the pacer test. And is one of the most athletic kids in my grade. I'm 13 and my friends always say I'm fat. I'...


 What can I do besides cut myself?
Whats a better coping method?...


 HELP! I am so depressed nothing seems to help me. What can I do to prevent Suicide?
I am soooooo lonley and depressed I dont know what to do I will be 20 and I have every thing going for me....But I dont know what to do any-more my boy-friend and me are long distance now for ...


 is life "REALLY" what we make it?
...


 I've got a splitting headache right now. What should I do?
Whoever has the best recovery method wins....


 Winter Blues????????????
Do you seem to get followed by a little cloud of gloomyness, during the winter months????...


 How do I cure my boredom...?
on a Saturday night with 7 dollars?...


 Do you think committing suicide is selfish?
My boyfriend committed suicide. I'm not sure if it's just me but I refuse to chalk it up to him being selfish. No way is some one in their right mind when doing something like that. I don�...


 what to do if your felling suicidal?
i've been thinkin 'bout stuff, people, places and i'm getting pretty down and i just don't know what to do to keep my mind off of my thought's or anybody to ...


 i feel really down and suicidal...is there any point staying alive?
is there a point to going on with life? I have no friends, no family, had mental health problems all my life, hardly leave the house, cant work / do voluntary work go to college because of mental ...


 im 16 years old and am really scared of the prophecties surrounding 2012? i feel cant enjoy because worrying..?
about tthe year 2012 and the end of the world?! what can i do help. i always have symbolic fdreams and these make me worse...thanks!!...


 I am scared to go to bed everynight! Please help, and dont help if your just going to laugh.?
Right, i cant talk to many people about this as they find it hilarious because im 15. But when i go to bed my whole family does too. Im always the only one awake in my house and even though im so ...


 What's the likelihood of my anxiety attacks going away?
Hi. I'm a 23 year old male, and I've recently started to have mild anxiety attacks. The first couple of times were bad; I thought I was really ill, and I went to emergency. It's ...


 Are these some symptoms of depression?
I am always thinking I am gonna die or someone is going to die
Always tired
Cry a lot
Constant mood swings
Drink a lot
Use sleeping pills to be able to sleep
Feel ...


 i need help please :(?
on 28th january 2009 i tried to commit suicide, by taking an overdose
i was taken into hospital and kept in over night, and have had counselling ever since, i am 14 years old.
and now , my ...


 I'm bored with life and I don't know what to do!?
Ever since I was a little girl, all I wanted was to get married, have kids, have a good career, spend time w/ my family & enjoy life. Instead, I'm 36 yrs old, never married, unhappy in my ...



Mike
What is the best way to deal with people who intentionally say things to agitate you?
In the movie "Good Will Hunting", there's that scene where Matt Damon keeps talking junk, until Robin Williams tries to choke him. Obviously, I don't have that option in real life, especially in the workplace.

Most of the time, I just say, "I'm sorry you've chosen to feel that way", and then I walk away. Unfortunately, there are individuals who don't respond well to that, and keep coming at you.

I just don't understand these ego-driven, narcissistic types who feel that their sole mission in life is to "enlighten" you with their rhetoric. "Sociopath" might be too strong of a term, but there are a LOT of people who take great joy in pushing the buttons of other people, instead of backing off and minding their own business. It's like the kid in the backseat who says, "I'm touching you", but that kid never grew up.

How do you deal with people like this?
                      









NERDGASM
Introduce fist to face.


jed slade
Rating
What people ,?they just don,t exist.Best way.


The UK Goddess *Accalia*
I just imagine them further on in life... they will amount to nothing. They are the people who will work all their lives, with no family or friends, who will never feel complete or happy.

There is a third option... it involves murder :P


jake
Just wait untill your boss isn't around and tell them they better stop ******* with yiou if the dont punch them in the face


correctcraft424
I might be one of those people. I have a tendency to do it to people that I know it will bother. If it didn't bother you I wouldn't do it, basically it is just to get a rise out of someone. For example I will argue the opposite of a situation even if I don't believe in what I am talking about. I am B****y, I just can't help it.


Scott
Rating
Use curse words like "fuc* off"


Abe-hicks
chose your thoughts...does it really matter what they say...don't say anthing to them...when they come to talk to you say positive things in your mind like 'this is temporary, I have good people in my world" it will remind you that this too shall pass but the less energy you put into them the less they will get the charge they are looking to get.


Blue Haired Old Lady
Don't speak to them to begin with. Go the other way when you see them. If they speak to you, just look at them, turn and walk away - don't say a thing. That will be very frustrating for them.


Margarita T
Rating
Ignore them completely.


Lucy M
If they are "intentional" then they must be miserable inside and knowing that they can say something to irk you, gives them pleasure because Misery Loves Company. To deal with them, smile like they're comical and walk away with a grin. You can always roll your eyes once you're not facing them!


Sam
It would be wrong if the person hit you in the knee with their crotch. Don't you think?


Baby on board!
Rating
Man I wish I knew.

I know exactly what you mean though. There are a few people that I work with 40 hours a week, that I just want to tell to "shove it!". But I have to put on the fake smile and say the opposite of everything I mean just to get by. I don't really know the appropriate way to handle these situations, but I know I have lost my temper a few times and it just fuels their ignition. So try to remain calm and blow up where people can't see you (i.e bathroom or car).


Ryan
Leave the situation. Talk to someone higher up about harassment.


arietta
Rating
ignore them.
They're basically just trying to get a raise out of you so if you just ignore them, or say something like "oh that's nice", or "really" or just agree with them, it won't have the same appeal to them anymore.


hermipoo
The only person a bit like that that I know is my sister and I just try not to speak to her even though I live with her- it's that simple for me. It helps that she's not a very nice person, so I don't even feel bad ignoring her.


Little_Big_Planet
Rating
ask them this question, then get them in trouble.


the eyes have it!
people can only push your buttons if you are willing to let them.


cherylangelclb
ignore them or walk away. i just pretend not to hear them or if they call me names i just say yah i know or something like i agree or am brushing it off thus making them mad instead of me which is funny so i start laughing making them madder. it's soooo much fun.


eric.tumlin
Rating
personally im in highschool and the only way to deal with a true immature B*tch is to ignore them. Any communication between you and that person at all can contribute to the firs driving them to push your buttons. Also, if you feel like giving it a shot pick the weakest one out of the group who makes fun of you and thinks hes all big and tough and make an example outta the poor b*stard.


Pavlov's Daughter
I put up a mental brick wall. After I've said all I have to say, I just ignore them.


~sara~
Think about how they want you to react to what they say or are doing... and do the exact opposite.


Starspecks
Ignore them while they are doing it. But get them back in a way that only you can find pleasure in....


Britches
Rating
Kick them in the balls.

Seriously though, I'd say either try not to associate with them or be friends with them, but if it's unavoidable (say, this person is a co-worker or classmate), don't let them know they got the best of you. That will feed their ego and make them more likely to pick on you. What you're doing now, saying "Sorry you feel that way" and walking away, is making them frustrated b/c they're not getting the response they want. BUT thankfully usually it'll get worse to a point, peak there, and then they'll just give up and move on to someone else (there's actually a psychology study I learned about that was one with mice that proves this, I wish I could remember the name...).

The point is it might get worse before it gets better, but if you keep giving the brush off and letting them know they aren't bothering you, they'll give up and move on to targeting someone else. So stick with it and good luck! :)


Mo
I think you should ignore them... in style: listen attentively to every punchline they can come up with and if they are quite outspoken, simply tell them: "Mr/Mrs X, I see you are making very good process. Perhaps we shall continue our sessions same time tomorrow, okay." Remember to smile and always be polite.


Jamie W
Its sad that there are people in life that get off on making others miserable. True be told those people are probably feeling insecure about themselves and have to put others down to make themselves feel better.

Honestly the best method is ignorance. If you respond to them in anyway, they will come back at you with another immature insult. You are just feeding into them. Walk away, be the bigger more mature person.. and know that they want a rise out of you.


Leah
Rating
Say, "huh?"...smile and walk away


kmack:)
i would tell them to step in my shoes and see how i feel, tell them if they like making fun of you then go back to the 2nd grade


condosgirl
Rating
Oh - I SOOOO understand what you're saying. I was always one to get right back in people's faces when they started up with me. I'd really let them get to me and it would eat at me for days. I'm a little older now and have learned that reacting to those people is what keeps them going. They want you to get mad, yell, scream or stomp away. The very best thing you can do is take a deep breath and smile without saying anything back to them. It frustrates the heck out of them and they end up being the ones whose blood pressure goes up. It really works like a charm. Give it a try. After a while, the agitators don't even bother with you anymore. They'll move on to try and find someone else who'll jump at their bait and leave you blissfully alone.


Mittmoudh R
Ignore them


Traveler
a book that helped me with these people is called "Boundaries" by Cloud and townsend. It talks about setting up boundaries for yourself in order to deal with people like you've described. On page 54, it says, "Steve has a problem hearing and accepting others boundaries. To Steve, no is simply a challenge to change the other person's mind. This boundary problem is called control. Controllers can't respect others' limits. they resist taking responsibility for their own lives, so they need to control others." Anyway, it gives a lot of practical information that helps deal with these narcisstic people. It worked for me and I feel much better! God bless you.


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