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Health Forum    Mental Health
Health Discussion Forum

 Benefits of being a loner?
What are the benefits of being a loner?

[I am curious...]
Additional Details
I have possible the best social skills at my school, but I find it easier and faster to do things ...


 Don't know what to do any more, I just want to end it all. Can anyone give me some advice?
I'm 16, and for the past few years I have been so depressed, I just can't get out of it. Most nights I don't sleep at all, I'm lucky if I get 4 hours a night. I have no apetite, ...


 I am worried that I may have used drugs (I don't think I did) but I can't stop worrying about it. Any ideas?
I was over at someone's house to hang out in January of this year and saw a syringe but I don't think that I got near it. He asked me if I wanted to have some marijuana but I said no but ...


 do you have a weird phobia?
if so what is it?

i have a phobia of vomit and ...


 How to overcome Boredom caused by depression?
I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago. One of the symptoms is a very strong Boredom. I do not enjoy things that I used to enjoy before. Everytime I get involved in an activity that I like, I...


 how to cope with self harm?
i have been self harming for 5 years now and stoped for a while and i ened up cutting my wrists open last night the reson is that i had an abortion last week and i cant cope with it my boyfriend has ...


 advice needed on deppresion?
Hi,

I've been chatting online with one woman for 3 months already.. yeah I asked her to meat too.. So, everything seemed better and better when all of a sudden she changed.. sad, ...


 Weed???????
Can you become addicted to bud? Does it really make you not be able to have kids? Does it cause you to break out? If smoking it makes you hungry, then how come hypes for it are all skinny???
A...


 If someone told you they were going to kill themselves,would you believe them?
I remember a few months back when i was depressed i told my friend and even my mom that i was going to kill myself and they both didn't take me seriously. My mom laughed and told me to go ahead ...


 Is there something wrong with me?
For as long as I can remember, I have always had TERRIBLE mood swings. One minute, I am just as happy as can be, and the next, I'm so miserable and angry or sad. I've thought about going to ...


 What's WRONG with TALKING 2 YOURSELF?
I don't do it often, but sometimes i have a little talk with myself to plan things out and to complain about life when it gets u down. I know i should really confide in someone close,but ...


 Scenario: you wake up next to your sleeping partner and you've shat the bed due to illness. What do you do?
There's not much time. Your partner will soon wake up. Your abdominals are in agony but you must act. You've soiled yourself and the bed. And your partner has already rolled over into the ...


 Am I going mad? Talking to myself?
Every now and then I kind of zone out and start talking to myself...I'm never really sure if I'm talking to myself in my head or if I sometimes say things out loud, but I am aware that my ...


 I am 14 years old. And I am really depressed. People always talk about me I think I am going to commite sucide
How do i get these people from stop calling me a ****** or gay. and this is the honest answer I am truly not gay I have a gril friend of 6 months but yet they still call me names. I cant take it ...


 I am not happy with my life-any advice?
...


 Whats wrong with me?
I have lost interest in everything, I look ahead to tomorrow and I can't see anything good, everything feels empty, I feel worthless, I spend all day crying and I don't know why sometimes I ...


 What happens to someone if they don't eat?
My friend has not eaten a thing for five days. She feels tired and spaced out but won't eat. She won't go to the doctors. What will happen if this carries on, please don't say she will ...


 i think i got raped. please help.?
i woke up in the backyard with funny marks all over me and im really really sore all over and i was really drunk the night before. and people said i walked back there with a random man with a black ...


 I am going to kill myself for sure.?
I heard that life gets worse as you get older. It should be the other way around. Would it work if I tried to be negative and gradually tried to be positive?...


 what are you scared of?
What are you scared of???what is the dumbest thing you are scared of??

No insults please or dumb answers..keep them to yourself..after all YOU are the one who clicked on this question i ...



Annie
I need help, i am a 47 year old women, going through a divorce, of my choice?
I look at myself every day and i hate myself so much. I have always hated what i see in the mirror, i lost both my parents within two months of each other, and i never told them i loved them, my upbringing was hard my mother hated me, my father loved me but was never allowed near me. At my age now, i feel lost, ugly, and when something goes right for me, i try and ruin it, i know what i am doing but i cannt stop trying to distroy what i have. i am on Anti depresents which are sort of working. is there anyone else out there who feels like me. people of my age 47. why do i hate myself so much, i know i do, i have no respect what so ever for myself.
                      









wollemi_pine_writer
you can do a few things... first get yourself some solid emotional support.. a good counsellor is very helpful.. they can hear what you need to say and help you sort out your thoughts and find new ways of thinking and being with yourself...

you can write a letter to you mother and then one to your father... write all the things you need to say.... then go out into the yard and make a little fire and burn the letters.... when they are burned you can say... It Is Done...

as for feeling ugly this is a long term problem for you and will take a long time to come through.. again a counsellor will help... but in the meantime the things you can do to help yourself feel less ugly is to find one nice thing to do for others each day...then tell yourself that was a beautiful thing to do... beauty really does come from the inside.... no matter what the media tries to tell us... true beauty comes from inside... so let yours out.. and be nice for others..

when things start to go right for you,start saying to yourself... it is okay for things to be right for me... it is okay for nice things to happen to me....

I do go through stages like this... and find that by being nice to myself and allowing me to firstly admit how I am feeling then make an effort to change my feelings I can change the process... but it takes effort...


kimmy
I am a 44 year old woman also going through a divorce. My husband repeatedly told me, I was fat ugly and useless and nobody would ever want me. Since separating , I have started going out with friends and realised im none of the things he said and im enjoying myself. So get your gladrags on and go out and enjoy yourself you owe it to yourself.
THINK POSITIVE


pandaaa
well my advice would be try to change your life get a job or maybe a new hobbie something you have never done before...cut your hair or color it ...try to relax more music more bubble baths try to focus on good things happy times always know that there are people who love you and need you around strong like your children your family your friends..try to help others volunteer work helping sick children all this gives you a feeling that you are needed and loved and that will show you that you are worth something and start liking yourself all over again and discovering the good improved you....just my opinion...always takecare and be safe


Ambivalent LAUreate
Rating
Oh Annie, what a really awful time you are having. It's really sad to read how you rmother's inability to love you has impacted, and how harsh you are with yourself now. It seems like all the people close to you are gone, either through death or because you have had to push them away. Anti-depressants can numb things enough to make it possible to carry on, but really you need some good counselling or (preferably) psychotherapy. You might get something through your GP but mostly that means six sessions and it might be good or it might be rubbish - and you need something more long-term. Worth going private if you can afford it, and checking out the BACP, UKCP and BCP websites to find someone properly qualified and registered. You might find that there are charities in your area offering free or low-cost counselling if you don't have the money. Word of mouth is the best recommendation, however, and if you find someone and don't feel comfortable with them, don't stay, try someone else. It's so painful to read how you feel - I really hope you find a way to manage and to do the work you need to do to recover from a difficult childhood.


rafena 1979
Please read this......

I may not be as old as you, but I feel your life and mine seem so similar its scary. I too initiated my divorce from my first husband, and I too lost people very close to me that I cared about, I also had feelings of hate for myself and thought that no-body could like me because I was such a horrible person.
If you ever need someone to talk too, I am here, just let me know by adding an addition to your question and I will contact you again with my e-mail address. I may be younger but I am very mature for my age, because of my life till now.


Raffaella
Annie, Been there, done that, know how you feel, felt the same way, let me tell you what I found. What you say when you talk to yourself is vital to your well being, or not as the case may be!! I strongly recommend getting really stuck in to books like "What to say When You Talk to Yourself" by Shad Helmstetter or any books on Creative Visualization. I found these to be a totally amazing source of information and learned slowly how to turn my life around. Dwelling on my problems did me no favours at all, in fact all this did was re-inforce them because I was keeping old wounds open. I really do believe that I had reached a point so low that I had to begin to fight back. The other thing I found was that people around me got the feeling that they couldn't help, no matter what they suggested, so I was losing contact with them and wearing them out. Eventually I regained control through reading and looking forward. I learned not to look back unless that is the direction I want to move in. I told myself that I could make excuses or progress not both. I also realized that if it was to be it was up to me. I now look upon all the tragic things that happened to me as gifts because I can reach out to other people and know that I can help, you can do this too eventually. I stopped beating myself up for the things that were out of my control and made a committment to myself and learned to be proud of my efforts, you can too!!!Go for it Annie and live your life well.
Love, Light and Peace.


trinity3x3
Rating
You have alot on your plate my dear lady.
My heart goes out to you-

I am divorced myself, but I didn't really have a choice,
he left me for another woman,,,who in turn has done the same to him.

You are strong to have endured so much for so long.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Do you feel like you did this? Is it really all you? I think not. There is one thing you need to always remember,,,you HAVE TO let go of the past before you can MOVE ON,,,

definitely talk to someone, a friend, a doctor, a family member you are close to, or a doctor hun,,,,you have a lot of issues you have to mend,,including you.

It will all work out, but quite hating yourself so much,
I love you and I think you are beautiful,,,,,
I don't have to KNOW you, we have similar situations,
you are a friend to me,,,,YOU WILL PULL THROUGH THIS!!!!


Rae
You should buy and lovingly take care of a puppy, then take obedience school together. Then as you start to feel better, volunteer somewhere so that you can experience feelings of success. Like a butterfly, your self-esteem will emerge - it's going to take time.


janeybest
Rating
Yes you do love. Just by reading a little about your past tells me you need to seek professional help that is your first quest. Hopefully your GP will refer you to the correct people because it seems you have many issues you need to deal with and then get rid!. You cannot carry on feeling the way you do and it will get better, but you must not put this problem off any longer.
Your divorce was your choice, why?. Not being nosey but its obvious your past and such low self-esteem did not help your relationship which am sorry was doomed from day one. So please for your own sanity and your future seek help. Do you and your ex speak?Good luck and make tomorrow your 1st day to a better life.


sweettinks
Rating
hi you have had a hard time in the past like me but you have to try and put the past behind you, i have still got a horrible life but i take each day as it comes and hope it will get better.
you know what you see in the mirror is different to what other people see, i think i am ugly but people have said i am not but i feel that way. they say tell your self everyday you are beautiful its hard but i am trying it. i try and help others which makes me feel better inside and i also try and arrange things to look forward too even if it is only dreaming. good luck


Wolfmanscott
Try going to your parents grave sites and just sit there and talk to them like they were really there with you, tell them how they made you feel when you were growing up. Maybe see a doctor if you need to if you think that will help, maybe go on a single's cruise after your divorce and see how many guys think you are a great lady, I bet you get a lot of guys telling you how beautiful and smart you are.


net_grl79
I would talk to a medical professional about your feelings. There is no shame in seeking help when you need it most. You have gone through a lot in your life by the sounds of it so talk to someone. Remember that 'we are our own worst critic." I'm sure that you are a great person so why depreive the people around you from the great person you are? There isn't shame in getting help but there is shame if you continue to let yourself feel this way.
I wish you all of the luck in the world.


Claire
Well, you cannot change your past, only the way you decide to look at it. That is entirely your decision and no one else's. You have plenty of years to live ahead of you. And you are the one in charge.
When was the last time you considered what you are good at, what you enjoy doing, what your successes are and have been? I do not believe one second that there are no answers to those questions. But only you can find them. If you want to. Taugh times in life are learning experiences. So you have learned a lot and it is just about time to use that knowledge. Good luck to you.


(>,<)
I am pretty sure you are getting help already, or else you would have not taken anti-depressants. It is clear that you need someone to communicate with, who will actually understand what your feeling and give you support. I really don't know how to answer your question, but if you want to feel pretty than put on pretty things, want to feel happy do things that make you happy, and if you have no respect for yourself, start doing it. Respect yourself, tell yourself you are capable of achieving anything at this age, it never to late, And don't listen to people who might put you down.

Maybe you are feeling like this because you are going through a divorce, its natural to feel this way at this time. Time will past . you have to be strong. Don't worry things won't always be the same, unless you want to. You have to improve yourself, if you want things to change. Don't expect thing to happen by them selves, you have you put work on it, so that things may start to change, it might take a while.

you are a strong women otherwise you would not have share this.


bristolian
I believe that everyone has some sort of control on the way their mind perceives things. you can definitely work your way to a point where you can give yourself some credit for going through a rough time in your life and coming out of it brave!this is life dear! we dont always get what we want...or stay happy all the time. All you have to do is..tell yourself that you are unique and great in your own way...as you have shown patience and tolerance in those difficult times!. Also come out of your shell...go out, socialise with people..make friends...and u'll probably find it easier after a bit of moaning etc to your friends. Plan your life...see what you can achieve at work etc. Be motivated and always keep in mind that being 47 doesnt stop you from having fun...n there is nothing wrong about forties...everyone has to age somehow!!all the best.


duce
Try to get some professional counselling, it sounds as though you have very low self-esteem. Talking out your issues with a total stranger usually helps, but you have to want to change your outlook on life and see the glass as 1/2 full.


Dogsbody
Rating
I think you need a mission in life. Perhaps to help other people in your own situation. You need to get yourself sorted out first though, and I think you need professional help.
You have to like yourself before you can truly like others, and before you can be happy and fulfilled.
Ask your doctor for some help groups, and try a few. They're not all brilliant, you need to shop around. You may find that helping others makes you feel good, it does me.


Clare S
Rating
im not being funny but i really think the best thing 4 u is to seek councilling. I think being able to talk to someone properly 1 to 1 could only help. asking strangers who dont have ur best interests at heart will never help. with help u will gain the love and respect u deserve and feel it also for yourself.


grainne
Im sorry to hear you feel this way. I myself am recently separated with 5 young children, at the age of 36. My ex slept with 12 other girls whilst with him. Now he is sleeping with an EX best mate, godmother to one of my kids. Felt as bad as you do, but all you can do, is pick yourself up, brush yourself down and get on with life. I took up a sport. Now have a great new circle of friends! Life couldnt be better, and actually glad to see the back of him, not that i felt it at the time. Time DOES really heal. Join a social club where you can meet new people, or get yourself a pet! I hope your feeling better soon! x


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