To abort, or not to abort. That is the question?

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bambi	i think it is OK to have an abortion, though people will say no have it your killing your baby don't let them make that kinda life discussion for you and your fiance, it should definitely be a joint decision, it sounds like you have your head on straight. your priority should to get your life in order finish school get married have a stable home and emotional and financial state before bring a child into the world. on the other hand if you are willing to put your life on hold and you can get family support and help from the father having your baby is possible people do it all the time the motherly instinct will come trust me once you hold your baby in your arm. for me i think you should do what you feel is best don't let anyone besides the babies father influence your decision. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ivan E. Cao-Berg	probably everyone will have different opinions. if you ask me i believe that should continue the pregnancy and leave the baby to adoption. in general, you can even approach an adoption center right now because there may be a couple looking for a kid and your baby might be that child. even though i personally do not agree with abortion, ultimately it is your decision and your husband to be. many people will have different opinions based on experiences, religion, politics, economics and culture. nevertheless, my only thruthful answer is that whatever your decision, think it carefully and be sure about it. whether you have an abortion, keep the baby or give it for adoption all of them are life-changing and final decisions. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

judles	This is very much a personal issue that at the end of the day only you can decide. There are people for and against abortion, and so much lays with individual circumstance. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ashalina	No, a child certainly shouldn't be a punishment. But nor should your future child be punished for what you tried to prevent but couldn't. It's a life no matter what they tell you and if you have an abortion you're taking that life away. Sure, you might not have maternal instincts but those don't always kick in until you actually have the child. Look at it this way...worst case scenario you have the baby and you don't like how things are going (which I really don't agree with but I'm not you and it's really not my decision). At that point you can find someone to take it...it doesn't have to be adoption and foster care. Hey, I'm totally with you...I don't think those government agencies really do right by the poor children all the time either but there are programs where the possible parents undergo a lot of background checks and studies and it's a constant thing...not just for the first 6 months or year or something. It's better your poor baby live than never even have the chance...what if your Mom had aborted you for the sake of college? I'll tell you a lot of people regret abortions but I don't hear about many sane and mentally okay people who say they were glad they did it...even if they say it I don't think I'd believe them because it's murder. No, no one needs to get all defensive I'm not calling anyone a murderer...I'm just saying that you've got a heart and no matter how many abortion doctors or pro abortion people tell you otherwise they aren't going to be around at night when you're being haunted by your decision and you feel guilty. But in the end it's just that...your decesion. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Meg C	I'm 18 yrs old also, but I've never been pregnant so I really can't tell you whether or not you should give up your baby. This is a decision that only you can make because its your body. I think you have just a little more time to think this over. Talk to your mother or another female friend. Opening up about your concerns might help. I'm sure you'll be a good mother to this one or any other children that come your way. Just believe in yourself. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

samiam246	Look, I'm not going to lecture you. I am going to tell you my personal experience. I was 21 when I got pregnant with twins. It took me a while to decide what I was going to do, but in the end I decided to have them. I will not say that it was an easy choice, but I feel I made the right choice. Times have been tough, but we've also had a ton of great times watching them grow into little men. They are six now and I can't imagine my life without them. I also need to let you know that my best friend had an abortion, her baby was due December 23rd and now every year at Christmas time she goes through a huge depression. This is a decision that will affect you the rest of your life either way and you need to think long and hard before you make a choice. Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

too_gorjus69	hey i noe everyone else here have diff opinions and i noe that this is a hard decision, as i was in the same situation. My partner wanted me to abort our child due to him not havin a good paying job etc, but we had suppost by our families and had friends with kids so we got alot of 2nd hand stuff!!! we decided to keep out baby. U can go to collega part time, or after ur baby turns one u can go back there is that option, u can also go on benifits, as i had to due to a very low income but they helped, u have to save for the future and things should be fine, instead of goin private hospitals go public they are just as good!!! u have to think positive if u really want this to happen!!!! think about it u have a lil u in ur tummy. Our baby turned out to be a beautiful lil girl and my partner couldnt be happier, he now has a casul fulltime job and im still on benifits, And for those out there im not routing the system, my partner and i are on parenting partnered. I do however plan to go back to work next yr. I hope that u guys make the right decision for u both!! u have to think about wat is more important!!! And yes i have had to abort a child and i will never do it again, i was wonder wat the baby sex was and wat would the child be like!!! U go thru so much when ur abort a child, even tho u think ur not attached u are!!! i really hope this helped!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mrs.Fine	If you go through a private adoption agencey, they will most likely hook you up with a couple that will pay all your medical expenses through childbirth. There are literally thousands of couples looking to adopt that are willing to pay whatever it takes. Please consider adoption. You don't have to deal with the guilt of abortion later on, and you'll heal up faster from giving birth than from the abortion. Check out www.shoahannahshope.org. for more information on adoption. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

That Girl	Just so you know, I'm going to be completely biased here because I am pro-life, but I think there are so many other options for you and your man. I am a (somewhat sexually active) college student too and I would have NO idea what I would do if I got pregnant. My biggest debate would be trying to raise a child while in college before my life is settled or giving it up for adoption. I can't imagine myself murdering my own child...whether it is still young cells developing or further on. I do think that there are a lot of options in adoption agencies and though it is not the happiest of all options, I think ultimately it would be the best. Unfortunately, all actions have consequences, whether it was safe sex or not...so I really wish you the best of luck with this situation. I can try to imagine, but I don't think I can grasp the full reality you are going through so I hope maybe some of my perspective has helped you sort out some thoughts better though I'm sure there's no definitive result here. My best advice would be to trust your insticts and yourself...and don't be afraid to have close friends and family support you and stand by you through your decision! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Dawn	This is something that you are going to have to think long and hard about. You need to discuss this with your family, mom-dad-siblings and ofcoarse your fiance'. I wouldn't call myself a 'pro-lifer' or a 'pro-choicer.' I just know that I would never have an abortion unless the OB doctor looked at me and told me that I would die if I continued the pregnancy. And even that might sound shallow of me, but I have to think of my 2 children that I have now. How if I died that would effect them etc. I know it will be hard. I know what hard is. I got pregnant at 14 years old. Yes you hear me correct 14 years old. Even at the age of only 14 I never ever considdered having an abortion. I had to go threw 7th and 8th grade pregnant! Believe me being almost 8 months pregnant sitting in an 8th grade health class is HARD. But I did it. And my parents did NOT help me either. I moved out of my mom's house at 15 years old. My then boyfriend (now husband) worked, we paid all the bill's and I went to school. Jr. High at that. Our beautiful baby boy was born a healthy 7.15 Ibs. I made it through high school. I put him in day care during school and had my mom help some too. I am now 24 years old and still with my first boyfriend who is now my husband. We now have 2 boy's. A soon to be 9 year old and a 3 year old. I go to a community college and hubby works full time. I wouldn't give anything in the world for my boys. I am sooooo greatful that I didn't have an abortion. Even though my entire teenage life was taken away from me, having my beautiful son there watching him grow, walk, talk etc. made up for every sweet 16, every prom and school dance. He is and will forever be my world. Sometimes life is hard. But you work though it for your family. And now that you have a precious baby onboard you and your fiance' is a family. Do what you must for your family. Please don't abort. Best wishes & Good Luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

seeking2adopt	Adoption has nothing to do with why there are children in Foster Care. Those children in foster care were being neglected and abused. You're right, a child shouldn't pay for their parents mistakes so why are you considering giving her/him the death sentence? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sandy M	Girl, I do NOT envy you this decision. As someone who was never able to have children, I grieve when I hear about yet another woman having an abortion. However, I also believe it is your right to choose. The conundrum with adoption vs. abortion is this: Those with no financial means abort. Those with great financial means are able to adopt. Therein lies the rub. My husband and I would LOVE to adopt a baby. The problem is, we don't have the $20,000 to $40,000 of disposable income that is required for a domestic adoption. You can easily double, or even triple that estimate if you're considering an international adoption. My point is, you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. You must make the decision that is right for you, but I implore you, do NOT make this decision without first doing your homework. Good luck, sweetie. Sandy Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

siamesedream86	Make a pros's and con's list. This is one of those things in life that only you can really answer. You need to figure out where each road would take you. Having a baby right now will for sure change your future. I had my first pretty young. It was hard. It has made life harder. It's been 21 years and we are still playing catch up. For me...abortion is fine. As long as it's not used for birth control. It's all in how you think it will effect your life. But really, take the time and sit down and think it out. Don't go with what others have said. Stick to your gut. In the end you will know what is right for you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Tiare	I have no objection to women seeking abortion, but in your case- sounds like you are taking the easy way out and not being responsible for your consequences of having sex. You are not the first girl to get hit with an unplanned pregnancy. Most pregnancies are actually probably not planned but people manage. Lots of us have children when we dont have the money and lots of us postpone school to raise our children. The fact that you are marrying this man and are planning to abort this child just makes no sense. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

summerz_02	I was 19 years old when i found out i was pregnant. At the time my partners father was going through an extreemly rough time with cancer and tumors, so we didnt want to burden our families with an unplanned prgnancy and ask for support money. We didnt think we would be able to cope with the financial and parenting obligations so we considered abortion. I was soooooo scared about being a mum and being pregnant that i jumped at the chance for a way out, but the more i thought about it the more confused i got. Could i go through the pain of having a termination even though i was only a few weeks, or do i go through the pregnancy and not be able to provide a child with the kind of life it deserves. I didnt want to go through adoption becasue i would get through the pregnancy and i wouldnt want to give it up. This went on for weeks, but i made an appointment for a termination still undecided. Two weeks before my appointment we decided to keep the baby. But when i went to my doctor to tell him and get a check up the ultra sound came back with bad news. My pregnancy was eptopi and had to be terminated anyway. I was DEVESTATED, but life does go on - not saying it in a bad way, but i do understand where you are coming from. Will you be able to give this child the kind of life it deserves when you both lead such busy lives? Is there anyway you could become a full time mum and still be able to support a bub?? These are the questions you have to think about. I totally agree with you about the adoption process and like i said before, it would be painfull to go all the way through the pregnancy and have to give that baby up. It is up to you. I know how hard it is, as i have been in your situation. Just be sure you make the right one. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Clarinet303	I dont think you should abort.... It kills the baby which kills you.... no literally it would probably be on your mind for the rest of your life. There are schools that are made for early mothers or you could homeschool It is up to you in the end but i hope you choose for the best Good Luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Brandi	My mother was fifteen years old when she found out she was pregnant with me. My great grandmother told her over and over to abort me that i was not what she needed at such a young age. But my grandmother managed to talk her out of it, she told her that she would take care of me and even become my legal garudian if she wanted her to. The thought that i was almost cheated my chance at life gives me a clear picture in life that every life no matter how small deserves its chance to live. You must think on this really hard for yes ultimitily it is your decision because it is your life and your body, but at six weeks old your tiny embryo has a heart, a small beating thing that one day could know love and have its own children and it would much rather you put it up for adoption and give it a chance to live no matter what kind of life it is then not even getting to see the sun rise and set or smelling the sweet fragrence of spring. Think of your own life how would you feel if your mother told you that she was very close at aborting you, that would make you very mad now wouldn't it. Think very hard before you do something that you can never correct because you might later regrat doing something that can live to haunt you. I wish you all kinds of luck and i do not say these things to make you feel like less of a person i just want you to see it from the baby's point of veiw. It is hard and lots of times things happen that are not within our control but the decisions that we make every single day are and they should be always thought out. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jamaica	dont abort it, if u abort it, u will kill ur own flesh and blood Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sharon H	Don't abort. I had an abortion in1984, I was so love sick for the child I became very depressed. Something inside you gets lost, very very lost and it's almost like you can't live. Worse than being in love with a partner and they die for whatever reason. Have your baby, if you don't think you can cope (I believe you can with help) then adoption is the alternative. May be people close to you where you can see the child grow. A fetus from conception is still a God given life. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mana	I feel in anyway it is a sin to abort a baby.It is murder.What did that baby do to you.There are people out there that would be good parents that would adopt.You can pick the family you want the baby to go to.Maybe it is a sign if your birth control and condom didnt work that the fetus you are pregnant with is a blessing.Dont do something you will regret for the rest of your lifes.I know alot of people that handle going to school and raising a child just find that are actually single parents and you and the father would be there.Let me just leave this last thought what if your mom did that to you?!?!?!!?!?!?!Be thankfull for what you got. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tinklefaerie88	I believe that abortion is murder.The child is alive and functioning, in a matter of months, you'll be carrying in your arms a lovely baby who's your own flesh and blood.. I have friends who are alive now because their raped mothers did not kill them, and I would be very much at loss if they weren't with me. So abortion in no circumstance is right. If you choose to be responsible and have sex than you should be responsible enough to handle the consequences of having sex such as getting pregnant. Keep the baby. It will save you from guilt. It's okay if the both of you can only get low wage jobs..at you're getting some income,it's better than nothing.Try to cut down on your expenses from now on. The baby is most important now. Try to get financial help from trustable family members or the government or something. You might get a better paid job after college and get more income to support the baby.. Or you can continue studying after giving birth, and put the baby into foster care or someone you can trust..when you've finished your studies, and got a stable job, then you can take care of the baby yourself.. Go do some homework on pregnancy and motherhood. all the best to your family. :] Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

CJ	How is your family with this? Because if they are okay with this, you might want to work out a deal where your parents take temporary custody of the baby until you're out of school and on your feet. You'll still be there to help raise the baby, but they will retain temporary custody until you're ready. So your choices, in my opinion, are: 1. Try to have your parents take temporary custody to help you out 2. Give up for adoption 3. Abort See, I'm not sure I understand your logic. There's a chance that your baby might not get adopted into a loving family, so you'll kill it before it has the chance to try to have a happy life on its own? In my mind, I can't see how that's somehow more merciful than at least giving the baby a chance at a happy life. There are far more families out there waiting for the chance to adopt a healthy baby into a loving home than get tossed around in the foster care system. If you do a little homework, you can find a reputable adoption agency near where you live that will work with you and give you a good chance that your baby will go to a stable, loving home. You'll probably be able to work with them and help select a family. You're not just "tossing your baby to the wind." You know, the simple fact that you're thinking about this means that you do have some compassion in your heart, and if you do abort, it will hurt you more than you know, both mentally, and physically. In this country, ultimately it is your choice, but the ramifications of that decision can haunt you for a very long time. IMHO, don't deny someone that chance to have a happy family just because you don't want children. Please try to find a good adoption agency in your area to work with. You should do that sooner rather than later, so you can help them with the decision on a family. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Garacaius	There are couples running ads in major newspapers who will pay all expenses if you let them adopt your baby. You do have an option other than abortion - adoption. Please reconsider it. I won't say it like the some do, but abortion does stop a beating heart. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jq	i think you shldn't sbort the child. it's really great to know that your bf is going to marry you and i believe since both of you are willing to form a family, let the child brings joy to you. it can be hard the way ahead but u can always seek help from your parents as they will be able to help you get through. studies and work and taking of baby maybe difficult at the same time, but if both of u are truly supportive and loving each other, i believe it can work it out. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Erin-Bo-Berin	Wow.. I can't believe you actually posted this question. You're going to get swarmed with pro-life protesters, telling you that you'll burn in hell if you abort. To be honest? It's your OWN decision.. Don't let any of us sway your future. You do what YOU think is best.. Not what others think you should do. I'm 20, and I'm in college. If I accidently got pregnant, I would abort -- But that's just me. Good luck with everything. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

leila	I know how you are feeling right now... I started college in 2004, supposed to graduate this year. December 2005 I discovered I was pregnant. I felt like I was going to die. My boyfriend told me to have an abortion, so I was going to. Then something told me that this was my baby and having an abortion would be killing an innocent person. I decided to keep my baby, knowing that I would never be able to forgive myself if I had the abortion. I attend a Christian college, so I was suspended. My boyfriend was expelled and had to find work. I don't work, so my parents are helping me out until I get a job. You are lucky that you and your baby's daddy are getting married. My baby's daddy left us. But what I want to tell you is this... I had to put my life on hold for a year. I have a tough time trying to take care of a baby by myself and finishing my degree. You have the support of the father - I don't. My parents help with money, that's all. Everything else, I must do it myself. It's tough being a mother when you are married and working. It's tough being a single mother when you are working. It's tough being a mother and married when you are studying. It's tough being a single mother when you are studying. It's just tough being a mother. But you know what? Every time I look at my beautiful baby girl, I know that this struggle is not going to last forever. Things will get better. I want things to be better for her. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me - a bit premature and unexpected, but still the best. Don't have the abortion... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

*Melanie*	hi :) my name is melanie, and i want you to understand one thing. I know that you are only 7 weeks pregnant..andsure, you might not be able to see your baby, or even feel him/her inside of you, but he/she is there! they are alive and growing in your belly right now! There is NO difference from killing a fetus as there is killing a newborn baby. However this is something that we could debate about for days on end, and i am very open minding and dont want to affend anyone I just want to make it clear that SO MANY women regret having an abortion afterwards. it can cause you to be unfertile in the future, meaning you wont be able to have children with your hubby later! Women have even died from this procedure, and just think about how much you are going to love this child! He/she might even be an inspiration to get a better job and to finish school! because you will want to probicde everything she/he will need! I thin you should keep the baby, but also think that you and your boyfriend should agree on it. It is as much decision his as it is yours, evenm if you are carrying the baby, because no matter what, he is still the father, and there would be no baby if it wasn't for him. please consider keeping the baby, abortion is so inhuman, and dangerous for you. It is painful sometimes, and horrible. Some people never get over it mentally. It is a horrible procedure. -melanie good luck and lots of love <3 Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

?	Do not abort!!!!!! Think straight!!!!!! If you cannot physically raise a child then give it up for adoption, there are alternatives you know. Adoption is not an option? Why not? Lots of loving couples looking for a child that cannot find one! To many kids in foster care? Yes that may be, but still, it sure beats that unborn life not even having a chance. Oh and I don't think you can speak authoritatively for the adoption system here in America. Its not as if you are the owner of an adoption facility or an adoption lawyer, if you were I think your opinions would be vastly different. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

star_gazer	I hope your not like my gf.SHE had an abortion.NOW she cant have children, NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT SHE DONT THINK of that baby she aborted. I THINK of them too. SO THINK about it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Rainman	Hmm...Right-to-Lifers will jump all over this and say all they typically say. I'm not sure if that will help your decision process. Adoption of healthy newborns isn't usually a problem, so the odds of such a child languishing in foster care isn't likely. If the baby has challenges then the risk is much higher. Adopted children always wonder about their biological parents and someday you may be faced with the child "finding you". What would your answer be? "I wanted to finish my education so I could have a comfortable life."? The fact that you are both in college says that eventually you would have a household income that will provide for a child. It may be difficult at first, but not insurmountable. One or the other of you may have to delay your education. Abortion "solves" both of these problems, but creates many others chief among them guilt, closely followed by "what if I had ..." You can have your children while you are young and be able to enjoy your retirement years along with being young enough to enjoy possible grandchildren. You can have your children later and be better able to provide for them throughout their childhood. The decision is hard and you are wise to weigh the pros and cons. Although this sounds like I am suggesting one choice over the other, I am not. It is your decision. It is your life. We all make all kinds of choices everyday that affect our lifes in ways we never imagined. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

♫Rock'n'Rob♫	no I know I will get a lot of thumbs down but if you are willing to play you have to be willing to pay. Trust me I know several girls that have had abortions you will feel so guilty after wards. If you and your boyfriend are planning on getting married I don't see the problem. Plus if you have a kids you can get extra grants and stuff for school. I definitely think you should have the kid Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No