
Lady Smile
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Most likely the reason it was so painful is because they were not taking their time on you. That's why you need to have sex with people who care about you and not with one night stands who are just looking for a orgasm. You need to let your boyfriend know that you're afraid of having sex again because it was painful. Let him know when you do have sex with him that he needs to go real real slow. If he puts it in real nice and slow then it might not hurt as much. Your vagina is very versatile so it will be able to adapt to his penis after a while. It won't hurt every time you have sex and if it does then you need to go to the doctor.
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life is good
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Foreplay foreplay foreplay! And don't drink!
Also, if you do decide you want to use some synthetic lubrication, DON'T use vaseline or anything oil-based. ONLY use water based lubricants that are MADE for use with a condom. (I assume you plan to use a condom at least.) Oil based lubricants can break down the latex and cause holes and tears in the condom. You don't want that.
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rinkittycatherine
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I have had a similar problem in the past and it proved to be phsychological. Just take your time, let your partner spoil you with lots of foreplay. It does work, honest! I was really nieve at first and it just hurt. I had a gap between boyfriends and it hurt a bit the first time after, but when I'd relaxed and taken it slower it was ok. Oh, and don't drink so much, it can be a real passion killer!
Good luck X.
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The Wind
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First off, I think You should try having Sex while you are Sober.
Second, You should talk with your new boyfriend about your concerns and try some ways of foreplay with him for awhile, Kissing, Gentle touching or Massage to feel more Excited, Passionate and ready. Ask him to take it slow and Gentle with You & Try using a lubricant.
Good Luck.
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Mommy2One
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I would suggest using lubrications. They can be found in the same department as tampons, etc. Something like astroglide or ky jelly or whatever your preference is. You don't have to use a whole lot, but it will help. If you aren't already, you may want to consider using protection, lubrication can be used with condoms.
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joannejones16
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this may sound silly but seeing as you know your own body better than anyone else maybe you should try touching yourself in the right places before hand as it will make you feel more turned on touching the right spots (and will also turn ur partner on) and being turned on should lead to you getting wet, which should make it better for ya love x
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whinnie26
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hi,
you might have part of your hymen left.
xx
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Rendevous
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might i suggest u try some KY jelly for lubrication it might put an ease to the pain, or u can have your boy friend try having some foreplay it helps to get u in the mood and your body will produce natural lubricant when u get turned on, this is the best way i think , it will also help u to climax before your boyfriend (if he knows how to do it) so that u can be satisfied.
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willowGSD
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If it hurts then you're not ready! A little more foreplay and a lot less to drink, would help you! The first will give your body time to release it's own lubrication and a drink or two will help you relax but too much will dehydrate you and when that happens the body will try to reserve as much fluid as possible making you drier and tighter. Try to relax, and don't rush (it's supposed to be enjoyed) it should be more a long distance race than a sprint!
Unless you are very small and a slim build (as I am) then it is unlikely that you have a physical problem but a bit of added lubrication will make things easier and give you the confidence to relax more! Try KYjelly or vaseline! Sometimes I do need a bit of help and as I've been sleeping with the same partner for 37 years it's not because I'm tense.LOL
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mshighwater
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Don't rush to have sex if you are anxious about it. Take your time both before doing it and when you do it. Sex should always be with someone you love and who loves you and cares about you.
Only when you are fully aroused will your natural lubrication be at its peak. I'd avoid going straight for lube like KY jelly since at 19 you should be able to produce enough lubrication by yourself and using KY could just mask the fact that you are less aroused than you should be. When you have intercourse without proper arousal it won't be so good even with artificial lubrication.
If you do all that and still have a problem, it might be vaginismus and that's something to see your doctor about.
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Tom w
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you might have a tough hymen that hasn't been broken yet.. there have been cases of women going to give birth and the doctor has to cut it cause sex didin't break it
try practicing on your own with something with a large diameter... like a cucumber
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buffyc1973
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You do not have a problem by anything that you have said x
Sex is a close personal thing, try and focus on yourself, do you want to have sex?
If you do then relax, enjoy the experience for yourself! do not worry or concern yourself with what you should or shouldn't be doing!
Only thing you need to do is relax, focus and enjoy yourself x x
If you feel pressured to please anyone else other than yourself then you need to say 'NO'
If you are with a person who cares enough they will listen to your concerns and you will learn together x
Just put yourself first and the rest will follow x
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jc
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This is more than likely related to psychological factors rather than a physical problem. It is actually a common condition. I recently read something on this in 'Dear Deirdre' of all places, but can't remember properly what it said... sorry! Not much use ay? But basically you're muscles will go into a kind of spasm and prevent entry, particularly if feeling tense. Anyway Deidre reckons it is always psychological so don't worry about having anything physically wrong with you. Get to the docs and put your mind at rest.
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bramblerock
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Use astroglide or ky jelly. This helps a lot. Yes you may be tight but what guy wouldn't want that. Lots of women have to use lubricant. Most guys don't mind this. If it continues to hurt see your doctor to discuss the matter with him or her. Vasiline should never be used as it can cause problems. Lubricants are sold in the store by the tampons.
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jonnyraven
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It could be vagismus (vaginal muscle spasms) but use a lubricant like astroglide and see how it goes.
You may have a drinking problem
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peachesandcream
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your too tight because your too tense, its that simple and you just need to relax. Your body is made for sex so its not possible that your 'too tight' to have sex. Just relax, get yourself in the mood, trust is a big thing so i dont reccomend keep doing it when you're drunk!. Take it slow and enjoy!
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janine s
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hello there,your fears are perfectly understandable,go to Tesco,s and get Durex Play.Firlst spend lots of time hugging and kissing..take things very slowly.Do not drink before having intercourse.If Your partner is an attentive lover he will sepnd time on fourplay before just jumping on you..tell him how you feel and to stop if you feel uncomfortable,there is nothing wrong in being sexualy assertive.Try different positions too.If he lies on you ,you may have little control.
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doggy dog
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drink dry's you up and i aint talkin bout your mouth, cut the drink out and get wet
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Fifi L'amour
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Rest assured, you're not too tight.
If you were too tight for a penis (they're not that big - sorry guys!) how would you cope with a whole baby?!?
The reason for the pain is more than likely caused by the fact you were drunk - I find it reduces the amount of natural lubrication produced - and probably also by the fact that you were not ready, mentally or physically. It will be painful if you are worried, tense, or not turned on enough. In fact if you're really tense, your inner muscles can clench and it will be almost impossible to get in.
Next time, try not to worry, make sure you're relaxed and take your time to get in the right state. As long as your guy is understanding and Gentle it will be great.
If he's not Gentle and understanding then find someone who is.
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nightlightprincess
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i think if your on top you ca control the depth and the pace. ive been with my bf for 3 years and it is still slightly painful in the beginning but i sort of "open up" to it. i think youll be okay, plus its an advantage, you dont wanna be a loose and boring for him. it will be nice for him.
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MILLIE
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stop abusing your body because it sounds to me as if you need to be very caerfull in what you are doing why are you letting men have sex with you when you are drunk that is not rite sort yourself out my dear dont let men use you when you are drunk not good it sounds to me as if the men you are haveing sex with when you are drunk got one thing on there mind and that is pleasing them self and not giveing a toss about you in plain english they are getting just what they want and that is a quick relief because you are drunk you are an easy lay you will get such a bad name for your self that is if you havent already got one think about what you are doing you silly girl
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cherub
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Not a problem. You need to be having sex regularly for it not to hurt at all. Sometimes it hurts a little to start with and then you're fine. Relax as much as possible and use a water based lubricant or durex play sprays. You can buy them cheap online. It is totally normal so don't worry.
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Daniel F
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dont drink to have sex - drinking usually makes us make VERY bad decisions.
no as far as tightness goes - this is fairly normal and common. when you are in a committed, loving, sexual relationship - things will likely become less painful. by this i mean that your body will become used to the sexual activity.
but please follow my advice and don't mix sex and alcohol - its a temptation i know, but one usually regrets things.
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lovepixiek
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you are just not getting wet enough so it feel tight...so you should use lube..it will help
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baw
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You don't have a problem. Foreplay first - it's a natural lubricant. Otherwise, if you think you might have sex, have some Vaseline or KY handy. Use just a little.
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...noor
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Sweety, try not being drunk... And it seems to me you're going a little fast with your relationships seeing that you have a quote: "new boyfriend" ... how many have you had anyways? Seriously, take a brake on the sex. Ur going waaay 2 fast! (sorry i sound like ur mom prob) Best wishes. Oh and by the way, why are you even drunk if you are only 19???? Under aged drinking???
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jay k
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That's not a problem. May I suggest lubrication?
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bratt
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all of the above
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aisydaisylady
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Ok. First thing.
Don't have drunk sex. Its not as fun. And may be dangerous.
Second. Relax! If you are relaxed, you will more than likely be more comfortable. If you are comfortable, you will lubricate more. Which makes the whole thing soo much better.
Next, (and I can't stress this enough) TAKE YOUR TIME!
Foreplay is very important to getting things done the right way. If you are nervous, or move too fast it will make things difficult and the more you stress about things not going right, the worse it will get.
GOSH, I wish someone would have told me this back in the day. :)
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NO MORE ILLEGALS
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there is no such thing as too tight, honey...
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Chuck P
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Try not to be drunk the next time, your body will lubricate itself with the right amount of foreplay, and the alcohol depletes your body of fluids. You should really be talking to your mother about this.
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