I lost my dad to a head on car accident 2 months ago and feel lifeless?

I want to move on, but I just see no light at the end of the tunnel. My last thoughts of my dad are of him in the ICU paralyzed and in a coma....how do I get these thoughts out of my head?Addit...

I want to move on, but I just see no light at the end of the tunnel. My last thoughts of my dad are of him in the ICU paralyzed and in a coma....how do I get these thoughts out of my head?
Additional Details
I have also been seeing a therapist - who is wonderful - I just feel like I will never get through this - my dad was my best friend.

Ranger Bob	I’m sorry for your lost. Look up… THINGS WILL GET BETTER! I PROMISE!

B	Sweetie only time can heal that wound, i would definitely go and talk to a councilor or someone, and i am SOOOO sorry for your loss.

quantumrift	That's a tough question. I feel your loss. I lost my father (though I was only 6 yrs old at the time) in July 1963 as a result of a horrible automobile accident. My last memory of my father was seeing him lying in his casket at the funeral home. So that was almost 45 years ago and it still haunts me from time to time. You have to go on - and no doubt your father would not have wanted you to dwell upon his death to the point of social paralysis. I can't speak for him but that's how I feel should anything happen to ME. Celebrate your dad's life - the horrible things will eventually heal with the passage ot time. You need to start living again - no doubt this terrible time has interrupted your life. Prayer and strength. You might want to seek professional counseling as well...there are many techniques available to deal with this. Please, only use medication as a LAST resort.

rockyfella25	I lost both my parents to cancer, 6 years ago. I know how you feel. You have to start thinking of the good times you have had together. Always know he is with you.It's ok too cry i still do. try to keep your mind off of it all the time. It takes a long while to stop hurting but it will ease. Talk about him to family friends that helps too. Im sorry for your lose.It will get better believe me.

KelKel	Sweetie, I know exactly what you're going through. I am so sorry for your recent loss. I lost my father almost 2 years ago. In fact it'll be 2 years in August. It was also a very traumatic accident, except my Dad's was a motorcycle accident. Same thing, he was in a coma for 11 days, hooked up to machines, and never once responded to anything during his time in the hospital. They warned us from the beginning that it didn't look good and that the head trauma was too extensive, and they didn't think he'd come out of it. They also tried to pressure us into making a decision! Words can't explain how horrible it was. It's only been 2 months for you and your family. There is so much more healing that needs to happen, and although it may get easier as time goes by, you'll never be able to completely move on. I still can't get over the visions of my dad in the ICU, and holding his hand, and begging him to come back to us. It will get better I promise, and I know it's so hard to remember the good things when all the wonderful memories are clouded over with the bad. Just try to push through those visions and try to keep the good memories with you always. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am starting to see it faintly but I am not there yet either. Good luck...

Pam H	I am so sorry for your loss. 2 months isn't very long to get over something like that. It will take a long time, but things will get better. You will never forget him, you will never stop missing him, but things will get easier. Their are grief web sites out there that might help - Good Grief is one. Also a grief counselor or support group might help. I lost my dear sister in August and it just takes a long time to get over something like that. Good luck. Things will get easier.

ColtsR#1	I lost my mom and dad, and both times, I felt numb for a long time. This is devastating to get over, and it just takes time. The pain does fade. Not quickly, but it does get better. Try to dwell on the best memories of him, not the way you last saw him. Hang in there, sweety.

manymeese	I'm so sorry to hear abut your dad. Your lifelessness is your mourning and you must go through all the steps of mourning to get through this. You may feel this way for a bit longer. Maybe you need to go talk with someone... maybe someone at your church or someone not involved like a psychologist. It really does get easier in time.

sig_mud	...........thts is sad and whatnot but its nothing noone in the world could understand with me.............................. i lost my (almost) entire family 2 years on valintines day i have my dog,a brother (9) sry for what you wet through well all i can say is that(what i'm doing) is seeing a phy. do help w/ the depression hope this helps......

Brandy N	I'm so sorry. Just look at some pics of you two when he was normal and try to remember some good times you two had together. That image is going to be hard to get rid of. But, just pray and God will help you. You may need to talk to a physciatrist as well. Again, I'm so sorry.

Elaine S	I am sorry for your loss, sweetheart. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but things will change. You see, grief is a process and we must move through it at our own pace and in our own way. I'm sorry you remember him that way, It must be so hard. Do you remember other things about him, the fun things and good things, too? Because those are the moments you will never forget and the ones truly worth hanging on to, Here's a quick link for you about coping with grief. Please read it. When I did, I felt less alone that someone else might understand how I felt. http://www1.nmha.org/infoctr/factsheets/42.cfm Here's a website that talks about grief counseling, which is a great way to have some non-threatening support during this process. Please just take a look. http://www.aihcp.org/aagc.htm I wish you all the love and joy the world has to offer you. You may find you carry him with you, inside, and it increases the love and joy you have to give to others as well. Blessings.

Blasse	So sorry for your loss. I understand that you are feeling lifeless but a small part of you wants to move on. Both are okay and healthy emotions. Unfortunately grief demands we be present. We must go through what you have described as a dark tunnel which some describe as 'life's deep waters'. What is best for you is to find listening ears in someone who will hear how you are feeling. Ask questions as a lot of times after a death there are lots of questions. If you can't find a person to talk to perhaps go for counselling or look for a grief group (sometimes churches have them). You will eventually start to move on. What you focus on intensifies, so while it is important to feel all that you are, it is important at times to take your mind captive and to tell your mind to take another path.

visvardis	my girlfriend was brutally murdered by her husband of 10 years that was feb. 25,2006 it took me several months to deal with it it gets easier as time goes by but its always with you 13 more days to 2 year mark

MAИDY MURDER™	Go see a pychatrist. they can help you. Sorry about your loss hope you feel better soon hun.

hannnnahh :)	wow, thats an awful experience. :( im sorry. im sorry, but it seems like time only heals these wounds. talk to someone about how you feel, and dont bottle your feelings. that will make things worse. everything happens for a reason, you just have to know things will get better. instead of remembering your last memories, think of all the good times with him, and how much he loved you, and how much you loved him. things are bound to get better, i promise. you just have to live the life you know he'd want you to live.

jtk15sc	This is so difficult... im so sorry for your loss, i don't know what i would do. I guess if you try to think about the great things in his life and how he lived. My best suggestion would be to talk to someone you trust and get your feelings out

gettingby	I am so sorry for your loss. I send my thoughts and prayers to you. You may want to consider seeing a counselor who can help you sort out your feelings. You can get a referral through your family doctor or if you do not have a doctor, you can call your city/town's local social services department and see if they have any recommendations. It will help you to talk about it. Take care of yourself.

betterthanthebest	you have to let it all out. also its only been two months. this could take YEARS!! i still think of my grandpa who died in 2001.your not alone-just think about that. there are millions of girls who go throught the same thing each day. Try to remeber the trips to the park, when you piggy packed on his back. when you stayed inside on a cold snowy day and listened to music and sit by the fire and watch your favorite movie.............. i hope that helped!!!

kittens96	think about something better!! like maybe cats,dogs,shopping malls...etc. if u cant think of anything else then thing of whats happening right now!:)Good luck!!!!!!!!!

Tish	I'm really sorry for your loss. My dad's been gone 13 years now and it still hurts. I hate to say it, but those mental pictures are probably etched permanently in your brain. All you can do is push them aside when they make an appearance and force yourself to remember the good times. Sit down, close your eyes and clear your mind for a minute. Pull up your happiest memory of your dad. When the hospital pics creep in, push them aside and replace them with what you just saw. I'm sorry to say that "time heals all wounds" stuff is a load of crap...but eventually, the intense pain you now feel will be replaced by a dull ache. In order for that to happen (to my experience, at least) you need to embrace the pain and grieve. As twisted as it may sound, the pain will make you remember that even though he's gone, you are still alive. Force yourself to remember that wherever he is, your dad wants you to be happy. Good luck.

tisch89	I was very close to my grandmother and I was with her when she died. It has been 5 years and I still cannot get the vision of her in the hospital out of my head. All I can say is it does get a little easier with time. I am not sure if the thoughts will ever go away. I am really sorry for your loss. Stay strong am take it one day at a time. Soon days will turn into weeks and then months. It will be easier to bear in time.

ferochira	god, i'm so sorry that you have to go through that, but i can relate. And the only thing i can say, is the truth. I needed to talk to a psychologist, to help me, remember him in any other state, than the last seconds of life. And it did take a while, a lot of tears and a lot of unloading. It was 6 months after the fact, that i sought help. I don't know if time would have done it anyway, but i could not deal with that memory on top of the grief. I took 4 months or so, but it helped me remove it, and put all my memories of him back in place. I know all the talking helped too, some of the things that came out surprised me. I found (her)my psychologist to be extreemely helpful. But the grief itself, is inescapable, a process that will seem like forever, will eventually pass, allowing you to go on. Seek a psychologist, if necessary, sometimes that hole is just too deep, too dark to get out of alone, a very long rope is needed, a rescue by someone who's experience and trained, to pull you back into the light and onto a path, you will still limp, but at least you'll have a more strength to walk. I found it too hard to burdon, family, i could not bear to bring them any further hardship, it was enough to see them trying to deal with their own. my dearest sympathy to you.

Amae	That sounds like it would be really hard. It's normal for you to feel the way you do, just remember that these things are horrible and tragic but they do happen in the world. Your dad is in a better place now and he will always be with you. He would want to see you happy so you should do everything you can to not give up hope. You sholud learn as much as you can about the grieving process, understand that you have to go through it but you will get through it. Can you find group counseling or perhaps at counselor at your school or workplace? It's important that you talk to someone about how you feel. They can help you heal. Good luck to you.

katydint	I'm so sorry for your loss. Only time will help heal the vivid memories. Keep turning your attention to better memories, when the sad ones appear. Eventually the sensitivity lessens, and finally you'll be able to think or talk about dad without your heart making you sad. I miss my dad, too. After a time, I began noticing things that dad would've noticed, and I imagine his humorous, cutting remarks, or the way he'd swear at things (and we, my sister and I, who are pretty positive, would make a joke of it and laugh). When I think of my dad now, it's different, as if he knew I'd be alone with him on my mind. Almost as if he knows what I'm thinking, knows I'm still here. It's meloncholy, but it's okay.

shop girl	I'm so sorry. Try taking a break from it all. Maybe you need a vacation, just to relax and get away from all the framiliar things that keep it on your mind. I hope i helped somewhat, but thats all i can think of to do. I feel bad for you, but i've never had to go through anything like that. So it's hard to say exactly unless one has. I wish you the best.

kitkat_137	I found comfort talking to others in my family who have experienced loss.

*SalUK**	You will - eventually. It takes time hun - I lost my Mom 18 years ago - I still go to phone her about something on tv. Give yourself time and be good to yourself. Talk about your Dad and enjoy his memory!

CAT	{{{Big hug}}}...My dad died of lung cancer 3 yrs ago. It seems that the only visual memory (even though I am 45 yrs old.) is of him bald and in his hospice bed. I understand....I am sorry. It will take some time. TRUST ME...

Jenn	I don't know if you a spiritual person but try praying. Ask the Lord to guide you through this tough time. Ask him to take the pain from your heart. Give it to him. I'm so sorry for your loss. Keep your head up and have some faith in the Lord.

Queenie	That is terrible & I am sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how I'd deal with something like that. I guess I'd figure that my dad wouldn't want me to stop living. He'd want me to be mournful but to move on with my life. He'd want me to accomplish my goals and to continue reaching for the stars. He'd be proud of me knowing that I am living the life he helped in providing for me. I am sorry sweetie jsut remember if God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it.

Kris L	It's very hard on you for two reasons ... you lost your dad, and you saw him 'helpless and hopeless' in the hospital. It could be worse, though ... what if he'd died and you HAD NOT SEEN HIM AT ALL before the death? Go ahead and think of your dad ... but you should also start taking steps to stop thinking about him as much and as often, so you can get on with your own life. Try sitting down for an hour EVERY DAY for a month and writing him a letter, telling him how much you miss him, and what you 'did' that day ... and sign it with 'I love you, Dad' and your name. Write in your BEST penmanship, on good paper, and keep the letters in a box. After the first month, write to him for an hour once a week. After doing that for three months, write once a month for the rest of the year. In the last letter say GOODBYE to him, and say that you hope he is happy in Heaven and you'll see him when you get there (whether you believe in Heaven or not, this is a VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE and you MUST write it out). Then, take the box of letters and roll each letter up and tie it with a bow. Carry the box to a place where you can legally build a small bonfire (a barbecue will do if you can't have an 'open fire') and read through the letters from the 'first one' to the 'last one' and after you read each, roll it and tie it and let it burn in the fire. When you are done, burn the box if you want, or take it home to 'occasionally write to Dad' and put the letters in to 'mail them to him in Heaven.' You will be much better if you do this AS PRESCRIBED ... it will take TIME for you to stop 'dwelling' on your dad, but it will happen, and the 'letters' will help you to 'concentrate' on him at a 'certain time' every day, so you will be able to 'think and do things again' because you can 'tell him' in each letter when you write it. Good luck ...