What is it that causes loneliness?

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h@ppymiss	I feel lonely a lot of the time. I usually think it's my own fault, especially as I am shy. I think people wouldn't enjoy my company so rather than finding out I'd rather hide! Stupid as most people are alright most of the time. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ashley_goh	In my experience, loneliness is just an offshoot of unhappiness and has nothing to do with the amount of people around you. I know people with tons of friends, a serious significant "other," and a very active social life that still feel very lonely and empty inside. One must learn to be happy through "detachment," meaning be happy without dependence on anything material, including people. When you've mastered being happy independent of anything in the material world, loneliness will no longer be a factor. Best of luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

The Best Damn Thing Ever ♥	The absence of hugs. Sorry, it's not long but it explains it. XD Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

heidi the ghosthunter	being by oneself being alone no one to speak, confide, share things with but it is a state of mind as you could be in a crowded club/pub whatever & still feel lonely! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

englishinbsas	You have to ask yourself the question, why are you lonely? do you avoid people and conversation? are you lonely because you don't have a partner? you don't need a partner really, all you have to do is be happy with your self and your surroundings. I spent 4 yrs in a none english speaking country, no family and no friends. Now I am back in England working 12 hr shifts on my own. I am alone but not lonely. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

angelica	this is in songs .. sometimes I find that a mood [as loneliness for instance] can be better 'cured' by music hope these are your taste well they are mine http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x698XNiV6T8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEbrRqX6qBc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEGF9FOHilo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8uYtm4r3Tc well I hope this 'cheers' you up unless you asked this to help someone else in which case .. you ROCK ;-) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

manhattanmaryanne	we all feel alone at times... there's a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. being alone is when we can enjoy our own company.. being lonely is yearning for human companionship. there's that old adage..no man is an island.... meaning that no man ( or woman) is meant to go through life alone. that's what makes us human that need to reach out and share.. i truly think with the advent of the computer ..as wonderful as it is....it has also isolated people somewhat. the wonderful thing about it is that you can communicate with anyone..anywhere in the world.... the lonely part is that you are usually at home..by yourself while doing so. modern life..while designed to be more efficient..has contributed to lonliness... people live in their own homes..travel in their own cars..are at work..on a computer.... for example..a high school student would go to the local library to research a paper years ago..today..they'll sit alone on computer & do it. we need to reach out more and find those " old fashioned" ways of doing things. maybe that is part of the answer. the other part is if you are feeling lonely..reach out..there are wonderul people in the world. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

gorgeousfluffpot	that feeling of isolation is a disconnection from the rest of the world, thinking that everyone else is connected in some way, having fun, communicating and leading full active and happy lives whereas you, alone, just don't seem to be part of the group. Loneliness can be chosen - as in a hermit - or imposed - as in being bullied or isolated from a group - or evolved - as in the experience of bereavement or moving far away. Imposed loneliness is the cruellest since you have been selectively excluded from groups. I'm interested as to why you are asking this - you've got some good answers. I could go on with my theory for hours. Hope you found this interesting and helpful. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

**Trinity Tallulah**	Hello Chuckler...i think this is the best question on here in a long time and also the best answers... you deserve more stars. I can't give a better answer but i can say God fills a void within, but made us in such a away we need human contact. I know you are a believer and i'm interested in why you ask this question...I'd like to say God Bless you and all who have taken time to answer and share some of their selves with us here... ~~Shalom~~ Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

something new	Its not to do with how many people, friends or family there are around you but how many people you can just be yourself around and be completely honest with...without worrying anything will change in the slightest. Without this for prolonged times your brain and personallity seems to work on auto pilot, reacting and conversing the way its expected to. too long on auto pilot and you get depressed and lonely. thats my own personal analysis upon myself anyway. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jackie.	Not being with my adorable American g'f.She's in Alabama right now on business.I left her off at Heathrow tonight & i'm missin her already.Doesn't look good - it's for 2 weeks.How am i meant to last without her for 2 weeks? We've been together 18 months & i always promise myself next time it will be easier to cope.It never is & it's worse tonight - not having her here with me.This lonely empty feeling.It's called love & missing your love like crazy & not being with her. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mrs..Yahoo	Lots of things can cause loneliness like being depressed and never associating with people in general.Loss of a loved one or pet or loss of a job ,a divorce,a break up,a fight,someone being verbally abusive,awhole lot of things cause us to feel lonely but really we are never alone.God is always there with you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Hope for the Best	UFO's - Unidentified - Friendship - Opportunities Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Izzy	Feeling an outsider, apart from the rest of humanity causes lonliness. A feeling of not being understood, appreciated or worthy causes lonliness. Losing someone we care about brings a dreadful lonliness.The thing is, that at certain times, we all suffer from some of these feelings and experience lonliness. A bright smile and jolly attitude on the outside could be hiding suffering on the inside. In Britain, we are/were (my generation - older) brought up not to show our feelings, not to make a fuss. Acknowledging feelings is a healthy thing to do (not over-do) and as friends can support us when we feel lonely, we can reciprocate in the same way. Big cities, like London, bustling, noisy and 'all happening' can be the lonliest of places. Maybe that is why the big cities have more drink/drug problems. However, being alone is not lonliness, we can experience wonderful times on our own, experiences that fill us with insight, joy and warmth. We have to learn to cope with the negative lonely times, in the knowledge that it will pass, just add it to the learning curve of life. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

elflaeda	Loneliness is caused by the lack of the sort of companionship we crave. I can be lonely in a crowded room or at a party because I prefer being on my own. I'm on my own at the minute, I live alone and yet, at home, I'm never lonely. This would be hell for some people who like to be surrounded by others. If you're usually surrounded by children and come from a big family then being in the company of adults can be one of the most lonely feelings around. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

bananas!	i dunno, but wana get rid of it? ;-) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

WendyAC lovin' Sean Cassidy	This is a very interesting question. Iam 33 & sufered from this for many years (& still suffering). I think a lot of it has to do with not having any friends, Iam a only child which makes life even harder. No one likes the things I like. Most people my age are married & got kids (I have never even had a boyfriend & no Iam not gay). To me this is what loneliness is all about. When you are also told you are not a confident person (like me) doesent help. So this is what I think is the answer to this question. Now is there such a thing called a magic wand to erase all of this?!. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Aaron E	interesting question. i don't think i can add much to what has already been said here. but yeah, its different from being alone, which is often a positive state. loneliness means that you are UNWILLINGLY alone, and it leads to depression Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Tom31	I think lack of other people would be a clear cause. But another strong cause is that some people find it difficult to get on with others because they are shy or because a person is interested in something that most others considering boring. Then again some people have many friends but are still lonely because they don't trust their friends enough to share their problems because the person consideres them too trivial or that they will be laughed at, or that others will reject them. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Andy	feeling cut off from the world around us. There are loads of people out there that feel lonely but only a few that want to break out and love others first. How many people did Jesus show love to and how many people actually loved him? I'd say that although crowds turned up for the food and miracles they weren't exactly helpful when he needed them. However, he's the one that lead the ultimate fulfilling life and I think that's the answer to loneliness, reaching out to others brings a quality in our lives that far outways negative feelings of loneliness. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lacey Lottie	People Straight Away would say not having anyone with you but it’s not as simple as this, you can have lots of people around you, with you ,but you can still be lonely, in your soul, I think, I don’t know, I am not a Doctor that the loneliness may be caused by the person who is lonely not letter anyone in to their thoughts and feelings , It may be because they are frightened to do so , due to something that happened long ago, The person may have been hurt in some way, This is a very hard question, so many things can cause loneliness. I hope you find your answer Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

trawet	One One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do Two can be as bad as one It's the loneliest number since the number one No is the saddest experience you'll ever know Yes, it's the saddest experience you'll ever know `Cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do One is the loneliest number, worse than two It's just no good anymore since she went away Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday One is the loneliest, number one is the loneliest Number one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do One is the loneliest, one is the loneliest One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do It's just no good anymore since she went away (Number) One is the loneliest (Number) One is the loneliest (Number) One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do (Number) One is the loneliest (Number) One is the loneliest (Number) One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do The worst kind of loneliness is the feeling of being alone in a group of people who are "friends and family" Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

deniscarter@btinternet.com	Simply missing a loved one, on having a full life together. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

caffsans	you have to be willing to participate in things to be around people=how else are you going to meet the possible person that is right for you=and yes there is someone out there Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Paddy B	I think that it varies a great deal between different people. Some of us are really quite content to be alone or with a very small circle of friends and relatives near us. Others need to be busy in a crowd most of the time. The problem comes when there is a mismatch between what you want and what you have. The recluse who is forced to be part of a social community may struggle as much as the bon viveur type who suddenly finds himself alone. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

David	Good question. Excellent answers. Have a star. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Uncle John	I suspect it is different for different people but certainly one dimension is some form of personal insecurity. A person who needs to have other people around - for support, for approval, for distraction - in the absence of others, they do not have sufficient resources (education, imagination, self-confidence) to continue with their lives until they again intersect with others. there are some, of course, who create their own loneliness. Their fear of rejection, of being scrutinized by others, their fear of not measuring up, not being "worthy" leads them to push others away, so they end up alone - and then they are "lonely." But that loneliness is what they were after in the first place, whether they admit it to themselves or not. To paraphrase another saying Some are born lonely some achieve loneliness some have loneliness thrust upon them Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mysticduder	Human beings are social creatures. Lack of emotional contact over a period of time will make anyone loney. I have 2 very affectionate dogs, and I could probably live forever with just them! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ollie	There has to be a number of reasons some people find it hard to mix others have loads of friends yet at some point feel lonely.I think you can be in a crowd & still feel lonely.This has happened to me.I use to go out & have a lot of friends got sick of it now I tend to keep myself to myself it can be lonely yet the majority of the time I like it.I think a good friend is rare. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

xoxosweetestsin89xoxo	The Experience of Loneliness In an attempt to understand loneliness and what it is, I analyzed 180 poems that were on Internet, written by many people, in order to understand what are some of the common themes that people mentioned with regards to loneliness. I have a shorter summary of this in another section. Below is a description of what I think are some of the salient components of loneliness. Please bear in mind that these descriptions and interpretations are my own and do not necessary reflect the thinking of anyone else. They are not meant to be the final answer on the matter, and is only described here as a way of illuminating some of the common experiences associated with loneliness. If you disagree with something I wrote here, or would like to discuss any point with me further, please feel free to send me an email. The Causes of Loneliness. Being abused and rejected by others Being unable to fit in A broken heart or missing someone People feel lonely because they don't have the required friendships that they need. Poets described feelings of being isolated, lacking social support, feeling invisible, or feeling that no one around understands what that person is going through. So in essence, lonely individuals (like everyone else) need friendships, friends who would take notice of them, understand and empathize with their situation, and provide support when needed. However, lonely individuals seem unable to achieve this required depth of friendship in order to dispel their loneliness. Some of the reasons given for this include: Being abused and rejected by others. In this case, people outside of the lonely individual have treated this person in a rejecting manner. These include things like being lied to, being made fun of, being abandoned or rejected (by family and friends), being told abusive things like, "you're no good", or "we don't want you around." In these cases of verbal and psychological assaults, individuals develop defensive walls to protect themselves from this negative environment, often times shutting out both people that can help them as well as those that can harm them. Return to top Being unable to fit in. Closely linked to the previous idea is another idea of being unable to fit in. Sometimes lonely individuals feel as if they are "a black pearl in a box of shining jewels." They feel like a misfit, someone who cannot fit in with the rest of the crowd. Very often there are feelings of wanting to be like everyone else, to be "normal" instead of standing out and being rejected because of it. In some cases, the desire may extend to being popular and well-liked, not only fitting in but being looked up to and admired. Broken heart or missing someone. Not surprising, in some of the poems I encountered, loneliness was because of a reason break up in a romantic relationship, or just simply missing that special someone in their life. Sometimes when romantic relationships end, there is a feeling of intense loneliness, and this was especially the case for lonely individuals who experienced a break up with a person that they were still in love with. Within all of us is a desire to have special people close to us, and when that special someone is torn away from us, these intense feelings of loneliness can occur. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Erina♣Liszt's Girl	Loneliness is the emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than just the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected from, and alienated towards, other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact. Lonely people often experience a subjective sense of inner emptiness or hollowness, with feelings of separation or isolation from the world. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No