To those that have attempted suicide...?

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dickenerfelheimer	I'm very sorry this happened to you. A friend in high school and my brother-in-law both committed suicide and it was devastating. I have also attempted it, luckily with no success. I can only speak for myself and tell you that I suffered from severe clinical depression for many years, and the times I attempted suicide I was certaily not thinking clearly. I was feeling utter despair, I saw no other way out of my pain, and I thought everyone would be better off without me. I've heard this from others as well. I didn't plan my attempts but suicide was on my mind much of the time leading up to them. I never wrote a note. I think I just didn't know what to say. I hope this helps a little. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Drock	I am so sorry. I have been depresssed often I had a lot of family problems. People commit suicide when they feel alone. My ex boyfriends sister jumped off a building when she was 20. Her parents were both doctors. She ws pretty, but she had a lot of emotional issues. Everyone has problems, ans suicide only hurts loved ones. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

vikingsorbust	You probaly should consulat a specialists in your area. Here a some links to ORGs that can better guide you. Good luck! http://www.save.org/ http://www.afsp.org/ http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

krista	Brooke - please send me an email. This subject & my personal experience with this is something I'd like to discuss privately...... I'm sorry for your loss..... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

081210	I have went through something like this a couple of years ago but my loved one did not succeed however she is now in a vegetative state,So I know you are in alot of pain.My belief is people who commit suicide are not thinking about anyone else they are only thinking of theirselves and their own pain and do not think of the pain they are going to cause their loved ones they are leaving behind.But try and find some relief if you can in knowing that they are no longer hurting( for whatever reason they was hurting for )and they are in a better place now.Again I am very sorry for your loss and I hope that you can somehow find peace!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

TORGO666	i have tried to. the thing going in my mind was if i do this would they care if i died, i used to cut myself and i did that because i was in pain and i wanted someone to try to comfort me and give me a reason to live some one to show me they care, help me, and i just wanted a hug and encouragement to live. show pity on me, love me. the pain inside was so much and it came through on the outside. i wanted someone to love me. i tried music therapy, songs that explain me and the feelings i am experiencing. i never wrote a note i just pecked at my wrist with a razor blade. i found peace through buddha and i sorted my life out and am making the best of it. Just give her/him support and get more involved with him/her. Show them you care. just love them. THat's all i wanted was love. Life has ups and downs but when you have someone there that love you and supports you that will make a big deal to them. Peace Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

baby gurl 420	hello. everbody is differnt. it just kinda depends. they could have had a depression problem that they hid from everyone.. depresson is a desease. most of the time if loved ones are thought about it was in a manner in which the person thinks loved ones wud be happier w/o them. i am very sorry for your lose.. even tho i dont know you i will pray for you and your family and friends. hope you cant find tha ansers you wish for. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sam	i did think of my loved ones and how it would effect them, but my thoughts were, ok people die and then your upset and 4 years later its just 'the day so and so died' so they will only be upset for a lil bit and then life will be better without me. and when someone is wantin to kill themself they arent thinkin clear because they are depressed and that not clear. i thought about it for a long time, about 2 years. and i did write a note, i wrote a few, to my best friend, parents, brother pastor, and one for the person that found me. i wanted people to know that it wasnt their fault that i did that and how much they made a difference in my life and that i didnt want this to hold them back from life. death is something that everyone takes very harshly, dont think that its anything you did, they were jsut sick and they knew you loved them, yes you will be upset but dont fall into depression and get yourself sick over it, compfort the people around you who are feelin the same thing, be thankful for who you still have, and dont take any life for granted! ~God bless~ Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Amelia	I attempted suicide once. I didn't write a note because I didn't think i would actually die. And I didn't. Yes i've imagined my relatives and friends many times and how they would react if I died, particularly if I commited suicide. I didn't really think I would actually commit suicide, i just let myself get so close to death and realized that it wasn't worth it. I'm sorry that happened to you. Hope it gets ebtter as time passes. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sunset	A few years ago a family member of mine killed himself. He had tried it a few times before. The last time he hurt himself so bad there was no surviving. As for his state of mind. He had let it be known that he didn't feel like living. In his case the person he believed to love him and that he trusted to be his best friend. Betrayed him. Was very cruel to him. They were married. She worked at his same place of employment. Everyone knew.. She had been cheating on him for a long time. Finally she kicked him out and brought the other guy.. She made his life hell. She didn't want him but when she needed favors cars money she called on him. She would also have sex with him once in awhile while all this went on. So he never bothered checking out other women. They had kids. Family had tried to talk him into his senses. He refused to give up on her. And gave up on himself. I and my family only wish that he had killed her before he did himself. He is dead and that dog of a woman is around as if nothing. When a person is going through a state of mind that they no longer care to live. They are never thinking clearly. Had they been able to think clearly and rationalize things. They would see that tomorrow is another day. With other beginings. What ever problem has them upset be it big or small to their thinking it can't be resolved. To them they see death as a way out of the misery they are living. If they are non believers they don't even have that to console them. They feel and think there is no hope. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Val L	When I attempted suicide I was in a personal hell. I was not thinking about my friends or family. I can honestly say I was hurting so bad that what would have been gone through by loved ones did not matter in my pain filled haze. Also, the decision to commit suicide came on so quick that there were no warning signs for family to have picked up on and, no I did not write a note. When I actually decided to do it I just did. There was no waiting period. At that point I had been suffering severe depression for quite some time and when the "solution" was reached I just acted. I was only 17 and although I am now 30 I can still see how it can be that easy to do. I am truly sorry for your loss. I do not know if this makes any difference, but I have been once again in my life very depressed. I have been contemplating suicide. My husband is even aware of this. Reading your question and a bit of what you are going through is making me consider getting into the hospital. Thank you more than you know. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

z-girl	I guess what I want to know is what were you thinking of right before you did it? I was thinking about how relieved I was going to be when I was out of my miserable life. Did you think of loved ones and how it would affect them? No, I didn't....because my mind wasn't working rationally. How long before you knew you were going to do it and when you actually made the attempt? Not long. Once I devised my plan it didn't take long to put it into action. DId you write a note? Yes, I wrote a general note saying that the reason I did it was because of a family member who had been hurting me my whole life. I figured people that knew me would know why I did it, but I didn't want to leave any doubts in their minds. I'm glad I didn't succeed because once I was thinking rationally I realized that I didn't want to die, I just didn't want to live in misery anymore, and it is possible to not live in misery. I'm also glad I lived because my mom would have been devastated, and had I been thinking rationally I would have taken that into account before I made the attempt on my life. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

button_baby_eyes25	i have tried to commit suicide once before and i will tell you, at the time i wasn't thinking anything but how bad i thought my life was, and to be honest at the time we don't care about any one just the fact that we want to leave the bad life we think we have, and we people who think about committing suicide think about it once and then when that thought comes to mind again they just do what they feel, I'm sorry to hear you lost a loved one, and i know it is hard because i have not only tried to commit suicide but i have also lost a loved one. and i can only tell you we don't think about are actions, we just think we know how bad are life is. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cheree m	yes i have tried and the only thing that stopped me was the thought of my kids going to live with their father and has bi@ch of a girlfriend... i suffer from agoraphobia and panic attacks.. i tried just 2 nights ago as i had a panic attack and couldn't control the crawling feeling in my arm... i just thought everything to be better for my kids without me around .. but i stopped myself i didn't want to hurt my kids... i didn't think about it before that night and i hope i don't think about it again.. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

waia2000	I almost made the attempt, but went to a hospital instead. The emotional pain was too much to bear. It is impossible to describe how it feels but I hope I never feel that way again. Except for deciding to go to the hospital I was not thinking clearly or rationally at all. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

S F	The thing you should think about before all the questions pop into your mind is that had to go through some pretty hard things to commit suicide. I would always tell people that when ever someone would die u would hear people say that they are not in pain anymore well when someone commits suicide they are leaving behind all their pain and are happy again. Even though the last thing that goes through your mind before u do it is ur family u think about how happy your going to be without going through all that pain all the time. So the thing you have to remember is they did it for a reason and it was probably to get away from whatever was going on in their life. Hope that helps! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

JB	I wanted to commited suicide, and no one would listen to me when i would tell them i wanted to die. Tell one day, i showed up in front of my husband and his family holding a gun to my head, then they finally listened, and i got help. I'll be honest, i don't know what i was so depressed, my head was all foggy that day. But i do know i wanted to end the pain, i always felt stupid, alone, unwanted, like no one cared about me. I hated the fact that cause i am a girl i couldn't do what my husband and his family do on the farm, cause they wouldnt let me. I was tired of being left out, never heard, i was under alot of stress from taking care of my daughter, the house and working on the farm, that i never had anytime for myself. And i really missed my home with my parents, cause they believed in me more, and trusted me more. And well i was tired of trying, tired of being rejected, and it just made me more and more depressed, i was never raised to be just a girl, wife and mother. I always did things that guys do when i lived back at home, and now that i am married, my husband and his family are old fashion, and want me to be just a girl, and a mom, and to take care of the house, when i would rather be outside doing stuff with them. But what i learned is it isnt bad to be a girl and stay in the house and do some things outside, plus i think believing in god helped me too. I never thought how it would effect my loved ones, cause i only thought about all the bad events, and everything that made me sad, i didnt plan on putting a gun to my head, it was just the only way i could get anyone to listen to me, i didnt really want to. I hope that helps somewhat, but if your loved one loved you, they wouldnt be angry so they probably didnt think about you or how it would affect you once they where gone. They probably only thought of all the bad things in there life. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

neutered_pup	It is not your fault; there was nothing you could do to prevent it. A person who wants to commit suicide cannot be stopped. Please visit this web site. You'll get many of your questions answered here. You might find peace. http://www.suicide.org/index.html Suicide.org is the largest suicide prevention, awareness, and support website on the Internet. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

conielboy	when i almost did i pulled away because i thought that my family would be affected and my community. when you do carry through with it you probably have a lot of anger accumulating in your mind. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mertleaturtle	i was thinking of myslef and purely how miserable i was a how much i wanted to escape all of the pain that has been caused to me by others. while commiting, i did not think about the ppl that did love me, i thought about the others. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Grand pa	I let things build up tilll i thought to only way to peace is death. I didnt write a note i just injected as much insulin as possible. the next time mixed pills and insilin i regret doing but i am a gentil person and my wife can be violent. her friends dont belive me. but family agree Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Searcher	I'm very very very sorry to hear about what you are going through. Even though I never attempted suicide, I did strongly consider it for about 6 months of my life. I now recognize what those symptoms were. I wanted the bad situations in my life to end and felt it was the only option. But, how I got out of it was to go through counseling and pray. I made a deal with God and told him that I would not try to end my life and would allow him to decide when it was my time to go. That was 24 years ago and life did get better. Now, when I feel that urge to kill myself, I stop and recognize that urge for what it is. What that means is that something in my life is totally intolerable and I need to identify what issue(s) in my life are making me feel I need to end my life. Then I look for ways to eliminate the issue. Again, I'm so sorry to hear about what your loved one did. I'm sure that they did not realize the impact this would have on you and others. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gwen F	when i was younger and thought about it, it was mostly because i did not have enough coping skills or a broad enough view of life to handle what was going on. all i knew was how our family unit behaved. my mind was not working rationally because i had low Thyroid disease. they thought it was add, but really i had no energy and i slept all the time, so my parents got really down on me. it was awful. i did think of loved ones and how it would affect them, but at the time i didn't think they would care if i was alive, so that was part of it. i didn't write a note because i kept talking myself out of actually doing it. finally my mom took me and got me tested for Thyroid disease and things got much better after that. if there is some kind of mental illness like Thyroid disease or depression, or major family dysfunction, it can completly warp reality if the person who committed suicide doesn't have a broader scope of life. hope i helped you some. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gypsy Girl	As someone who has been suicidal a number of times and stopped just prior to an attempt, I can tell you that when someone is thinking of taking their own life, they are rarely rational. All they can see is the problem and that there is no solution. Sometimes they can't see past their own pain to think of what their death will do to others around them. I suggest that you stop trying to rationalize this person's actions, there probably was no rationallity to it. Instead, work on accepting what has happened and getting on with your life. Seeing a solution to your problem for someone who is depressed and suicidal is similar to trying to read red print while wearing red colored glasses. While the print may be obvious to someone not wearing the glasses, the person who is wearing them cannot see it. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope that I have been able to help some. Unfortunately, wounds like this take time to heal. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

usher ho	no i didnt iwas 11 and afaid of jr high . the showers why i dont get now .i took 11 naldacon and woke up sick . my friend kirk did this so i know how u feel . i hope you make it out okay its not your fault. so move on .god bless u and your friend gina Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Just a Crazy Girl	I am so sorry that happened. I'm on your end of this. My husband and I separated about 2 months ago. He has been living at his mom's and me and our 2 kids are living at our house. We were at his dad's all together on Christmas Eve and he went home that night and took an entire bottle of Prozac. We found him Christmas morning in the middle of a seizure from the pills, lips blue, not breathing, it was awful. I just thank god the kids were downstairs and didn't see what we saw. We called 911 and got him to the hospital, he just got out of critical care today and was transfered over to the psychiatric part of the hospital. I may not want to be with him at this point but I sure don't want to see him do something like this. I just don't don't understand how he wouldn't be thinking about his kids and what that would do to them, and on Christmas of all days. I'll tell you what everyone is telling me, just don't ever think that it is in any way your fault. Just stay strong, keep your head up and I know it's hard to believe at this point but things will get easier. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

michele	I am so sorry for your loss, Brooke. People who commit suicide are NOT thinking clearly. Depression has profoundly effected them cognitively by that point. The only thoughts on their minds are typically that there is no other way to end their pain other than to end their lives. Many think that they are actually doing a service to their families, because they feel like worthless burdens. The vast majority do not take their lives for the purpose of "getting back" at anyone, and do not desire to inflict harm. Sadly, the effects are long reaching, and those they leave behind suffer more than they could possibly imagine. Again, so very sorry for your loss, ~M~ Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lori K	I am so sorry. Remember that your loved one was mentally ill. If he/she had been in their right mind, they never would have done such a thing. I remember only once considering suicide and I was under extreme physical pain. I just wanted the pain to be over. I think it's the same thing with most suicides, although the pain may not be physical. Severe pain can make us forget, for a short time, that there are people who love and need us. I'm very, very sorry. I hope I've offered some little comfort and not made you feel worse. It's so difficult to know what to say. My prayers are with you and yours. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

f1mudvayne29	Last year my daughter in law committed suicide. It is sad. We can't understand what really goes through their minds. They just aren't clear-minded. I know it isn't much comfort, but accept that confusion and desperation are the driving forces that consume their thoughts and lives. They still love those they leave, but can't see how it affects and devastates us survivors. It does take time and tears, and my heart goes out to you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jacki-O-says Trick -or-Treat	I did think about it & had it all planned & the one thing that brought me back from the edge is that I did not want my son to blame himself! Yes I did have a letter written I thought I was thinking rationally and I also thought there was no other way out of my unhappiness! I have had a close neighbor commit suicide in the past few months(27 years old)! I have seen what it did to his mother & father & siblings and children & friends! It is so tragic that words cannot begin to describe all of the hurt and frustration & guilt! My heart goes out to you* Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jensarcon	I am really sorry about your loss. My brother committed suicide and I also attempted suicide. If there's one bit of advice I'd give you it's to please stop torturing yourself with guilt and trying to figure out how he/she was feeling. I read the other day of a boy who committed suicide and the grief counselor told the family to treat it as they would if the boy had died in an accident because no one is at fault. From my own experience I would say that leading up to my decision, I was sick of dealing with bipolar disorder that was not treated properly and I was going in and out of the hospital. I felt as though there was no hope of a normal life and I was sick of torturing my mom and dad by going in and out. When I made the decision, it felt good. It was as if I had a purpose. I did think of loved ones and how it would affect them and that was the worst part because I didn't want to hurt them, but I was also sick of hurting them by being sick. No, I wasn't rational. I thought everyone would be better off without me even though I knew how devastating my brother's death was. There was a period of six or seven days that I had to really come to terms with what I was going to do and in that time I made peace (I thought) with God and the world. I didn't write a note because I thought that it was obvious that what I was doing was better for everyone. It wasn't something I did in anger to get back at anyone. It was aimed at myself and my own pain and I couldn't explain it on paper so that anyone could understand. I've known a lot of people who have both attempted suicide and completed it. It's a devastating act that affects so many people. I'm so very sorry about your loss. It's hard to lose someone you love, but when it's suicide there's the added pain of why? and guilt and all the additional layers. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No