My mum died 2 weeks ago! Im empty?

Show all answers

Post your answer

What a guy!!	You have my deepest sympathy. That is a day that I am dreading more than any other. It did help knowing what was coming, unexpected deaths are truly awful things to have to live through. I'm sure that your feelings of guilt over not mourning will all come out at some point, for several days; after which you will feel much better. Then you will be able to say goodbye as a caring person should do. You will be able to get on with your life then, in the knowledge that your mother will always be there guiding you. Again, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have star'd this letter, which I think will give you the option of emailing me if you want to. (At least I think it will anyway. I really am new to this thing.) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

needtoknow	grief is a thing that has a cycle you must allow yourself time to work through it some times you are anger some time sad sometimes blue this is a normal human response to the loss of a loved one there are counselors who do grief counseling and your medical doctor can prescribe medication to help you cope the best thing to have is combination of both I am very sorry to hear of your mothers passing give yourself time to work through this it may take a while and be a back and forth thing but most folks do eventually come to peace with in their self Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Tina Enchantress	What you feel is perfectly normal, it is a great loss and to feel numb at times is the body's way of saying " I need a break". Some people cry, some don't, it's ok not to cry, if you can talk about your Mum and remember her that is good, feeling angry is fine too. If you feel you want to talk.. talk.. if you want to cry.. cry.. everyone is different, maybe you have family and feel for them, thus don't want to be upset in front of them, protecting them.. hey that's good, please give yourself time and don't stress about what your feeling, or showing just know that you do and that you loved her. Blessed be x Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

disco	I'm so sorry to hear that we all deal with things differently and you will probably go through these emotions for a long time yet i lost my mother 9 years ago in a very bad way she went on holiday to Spain and died out there so this was a massive shock i also had feeling of anger cheated and lots of other things a friend told me at the time it takes 7 years to come to terms with a death of a loved one and at the time i thought she was talk in rubbish but i think she was right has i can now talk about my mother without all these feelings getting in the way but you have only just lost yours so please don't expect it all to just go back to normal and if you have some one you can talk to please do has you will make yourself ill if you try to bottle it up x Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

hpy2b	I'm am deeply sorry. The mother is the hub of the family. You lost the greatest love. You got something to cry about.........cry and cry some more. Reach out to other family members. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ollie	Hi,first I am sorry on your loss.My mam died in October I feel everything that you have said you feel, only I also have a huge sense of guilt for not being there for my mam.My mam was found by a neighbour she had,had a stroke which she never awoke from.I wish I could say the pain will ease probably in time.You will cry when you are ready.Please try & talk to some one. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

fcuk974	so sorry to hear about the passing of your mum, its a day i always dread happening to me, you obviously feel very numb and this is a normal process of losing someone you love, try making up a photo album of your mum with all your favourite pictures or even try writing a poem about her, youll be surprised at how you feel after it, chin up and all the best for the future Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Cazbutton	Im so sorry for you and my heart goes out to you. I lost my dear mum some years ago now and 5mnths later my fiance died so i no how you feel. Dont worry bout not crying - we all deal with things in different ways. Itl happen in time and itl be a great relief. Just try to focus on getting on with your life and let nature take its course - its hard i know but youl be able to look back one day and smile at your mothers memory. Take care of yourself. XXX Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Diamond	I am so sorry you had to lose your mum. Please give yourself more time 2 weeks is such a short time. Try to remember all the good time if you cry it does not matter it will help to bring your feelings out. I also went though feeling angry and cheated when I lost my mum Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Finn	I am also incredibly sorry for your loss. The same thing happens to me whenever someone in my family died. I didn't cry at all when my grandad (who I'm probably closer to than my parents) died, or when my parents split up. I did, however, cry at the end of The Pokemon Movie when I first saw it. What's happened, is that you might have been raised to keep all your emotions bottled up inside to try and keep your dignity. This usually leads to the occasional nervous breakdown or massive outpoar of tears over something as simple as a movie or the fridge breaking down. I'm sure you loved your mother very much so don't think that not crying means you don't love her. It just means that your incredibly strong and are able to get on with life. Remember, however, that a good cry can be very good for you and though you may not have cryed much yet, at some point the dams will burst and that is the true point that you will be mourning the death of your mother. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

rainbowchild	I'm so sorry. Nothing anyone can do or say can make your pain any less or make it go away, especially someone you don't even know but you really should talk to your friends or your family about her - remembering the best of her, her smile, the funny little things she did, her habits, even the irritating mannerisms she had, all of that is important....remember her with love and laughter amidst the tears.....remember the good moments and the bad....it's good to feel, don't lock it away. Let your feelings out. Have been there myself and it isn't easy but the pain fades in time - it's important to remember her just as she was. XXX Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Proud to be APBT	Holding it all in may actually be detrimental to your own health, grieving is different than normal pain and loss. Our bodies produce different chemicals when grieving, it's important to express those feelings. Studies have shown that tears of grief actually have a different chemical make up than other tears. I'm sorry for your loss, I went through the same thing in September, we knew for 5 weeks and I spent the entire time in the hospice with my Mother I thought I was completely prepared, etc. But months later I am realizing I am feeling more lately than I did in the weeks that followed her death. I came home and was so busy getting things back in order here with the kids, etc that I really didn't allow myself the time to grieve. It's interesting since lately when it's all coming up I have been sick with mono these past few weeks. My doctor is the one who told me that grief held in can actually suppress your immune system. I am going to join the support group at a local hospice, something I guess I should have done in the begining. I have also decided to go through training with our dog to become certified to do therapy for hospice patients. I'm going to volunteer to help others the way the therapy dogs were a great help to my Mother. Perhaps these things will help me do something positive with my grief. I would work at coming to terms with the loss without holding it in, I know it's hard. But mourn the things you will miss about her. From the little things to the big things. It's mourning not just the memories but the things that will never be, etc. It's okay to mourn those as well. I miss knowing I could call her, that she won't be there when my children graduate, that I will never hear her laugh again, etc. I think mourning really isn't just for them, a lot of it is for us and what we have lost. And don't feel guilty about the tears you haven't cried, that isn't healthy either. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

dramaprincess	I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sure things will start to look brighter for you. I don't know what I would do without my mum http://www.starnow.co.uk/allanhatucker Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lingote	sorry for your loss! God is the only one that fills empty spaces of our life. Find him! God bless you! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cnaangelbear	hmmmmmmmmm what are the effects of holding in your pain about your mum dying well dear my mom died 27yrs ago and I'm still feeling it and to tell you the truth I dont think it ever goes away but what you need to do is have yourself a really good cry and always remember dont ashamed about crying cuz I've seen a grown man cry.I'm sorry abot your mum and I know how you feel I've been there. Hang tight ok and keep yor head up and pray Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

justmemimi	My condolences to you and your family.... I have experienced and survived grief many times, but I haven't experienced death of a mother, yet. (thank God) God bless. Maybe this will help you: Elisabet Kuebler- Ross' Stages of Grief The stages are: Denial - The initial stage: "It can't be happening." Anger : "How dare you do this to me?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible") Bargaining : "Just let me live to see my son graduate." Depression : "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?" Acceptance : "I know that I will be in a better place." Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This also includes the death of a loved one and divorce. Kübler-Ross also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated[citation needed] a person will always experience at least two. Others have noticed[citation needed] that any significant personal change can follow these stages. For example, experienced criminal defense attorneys are aware that defendants who are facing stiff sentences, yet have no defenses or mitigating factors to lessen their sentences, often experience the stages. Accordingly, they must get to the acceptance stage before they are prepared to plead guilty.[ Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mayomaiden	Everyone grieves in a different way I am told. I thought I would die from the physical and mental pain after my very beautiful ,kind and gifted mother died in her sleep in June 2006 of a heart attack, it took at least four or five months before the tsunami of terrible pain, began to subside, but subside it did very gradually. I thought healing started after the final service I was totally wrong, that was only the beginning, for me. You are feeling raw and hurt that is natural if you loved your mother as deeply as most people do. I saw a counsellor, yes it did help. So does talking to someone who lost their mother in the not too distant past. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

angel20072002	Deep deep depression in about 2 weeks. My father died 2 years ago and there will always be a scab. The is no way to let go, but you do learn to deal with it. I am so sorry. I remember that talking to my father after he died helped a lot. Just go to a church or even lock yourself in the room and just talk to your mother. Tell her how you feel. It just might help. Hope you feel better The tears are dried up because there is no emotion left or the emotion of loss is just way to strong. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Bixby07	Sorry to hear about your mom.I sincerely hope you'll look after yourself.Take care Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Zoe F	im sorry, that really sucks Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

georgiansilver	I lost my mum to cancer a year last August...she had found out the previous November that she had lung cancer and it was inoperable as it was too near her heart. She died holding my hand. She would not be touched by anyone so for her to hold my hand was an honour I will never forget. However, my Dad was upset at this and rejected me for some time...telling me all the things he hated about me and my life...which was hard. Have got back to contact and communication with Dad now but the memory of my Mum still haunts me all this time later. I guess when you lose someone, it is bound to hurt...but as time goes on...so the pain gets less.....we can never forget but we can learn to live with our loss. As long as we have allowed ourselves to go through the Grief and Mourning process.....accepting the inevitability of peoples death....and learning to move on after...we can live with it. We can move on and make something of our own lives...we have no choice really other than to immerse ourselves in self pity and switch off to life....causing no end of problems to those around us. Time is the healer...and in my case The Love of God. The holding it all in thing can be quite natural but it will all come out at some point. You have to stop fighting the feelings and give in to the grief/mourning.....that way you will come to terms with it more quickly. Best wishes, Mike. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

fanella	im so sorry for your loss everyone grieves differently but do you not cry because you would be embarrassed like its not expected of you? try looking on the cruse website for bereavement councilling if you feel that would help you Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

nickywireobsessive	Oh petal - you must be feeling so so sad at the moment. I have just posted a question on my bereavement (mum and dad). When they died (1995) I didnot react at all - in factI went straight back to uni after the funeral. Please get help now. For the past 12 years I have been so so unhappy and have had to try to come to grips with it all in my head. Please take solace in those around you that you love and be kind to yourself. Let me know if you want to chat. Sending kind thoughts and wishes.... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

chesty la rue	There are no rules or guidelines for grief. Its something you will work out in your own time. Don't force it though. Don't think you have to be feeling "something" right now. Just remember your mum and the life you shared with her, the tears will come in time. x Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Pleasant Peter Perkins	There are no time limits on grief. Your feelings are all genuine and it doesn't matter if they don't produce the usual outpourings. Your will probably cry one day...it may be tonight.....but when you do it will be because that is what you are feeling right then! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Tutlegoss' Brain	Nothing but negative effects. You may, one day, blow up in a rampage and harm yourself or others. You may become really depressed and want to take your own life. The outcome is something negative, and if you keep it in for a long time, the outcome will be worse and worse. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kayla <3	im so sorry. my grandpa and i were EXTREMELY close and when he died i didnt cry either... until i got to his wake. then i sobbed. it helped seeing everyone else crying and it make it easier for me to cry. you may not be doing it intentionally, but you might be holding everything in because you don't want to seem weak, or you feel you have to be strong for everyone else (younger siblings?) but if its not that it could also be because you have so many emotions that you don't know how to let them all out... just think a little... think about each emotion and it might help you process each of them more. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ScientistX	Dont hold it in but you will get over it in time, the important thing is to get on with your life after a loss, it would be your mums wishes. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

billy big baws	The hurt will slowly recede, it is an old saying but time is a great healer. The tears will come,and will help. I lost my mother 12 years ago, she was only 58, and the pain was incredible, but I always thought of the good times and laughs we had, but still think about the things she has missed. There is never a day goes past when she is not in my thoughts. So I hope you manage to cope with your grief, and can assure you things will get easier. My thought and prayers are for you today. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lovedubya	I am so sorry. Everybody's greiving process is different. I lost an immediate family member five years ago and it still hurts. I didn't cry very much then, but it didn't mean that my heart wasn't breaking, because it was. You may find that you need to cry months down the road. Try not to hold it in, that kind of stress can affect your health. You have my condolences. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

richard_beckham2001	I'm very sorry to hear of your sad loss. People greive in different ways, you are no exception. Take care and Bestwishes. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No