My husband died 4 weeks ago from cancer at the age of 65. Emotions are still very "raw". I know I will get

Show all answers

Post your answer

Flower	I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you as I know exactly what you are going through. The man I loved died suddenly in January 2007. We were just starting our life together and I am devastated. Its been nearly 5 months now and I still cry every day for him. I feel lost and lonely without him. Its very early days for you. I don't think you will ever get over it, and I know it does feel impossible now, but it will get easier. You will have good and bad days and you will go through all kinds of emotions such as shock,sadness, disbelief, guilt, anger, loneliness etc. These are all feelings I am going through at the moment. It is good to be with friends and family as much as you can, try not to be alone. Talk about him to people and remember your memories. Its natural to lose interest in life and hobbies for a while, but eventually you will get them back. Remember he would want you to be sad and miss him, but he would also want you to get on with your life without him. These are all things that people are telling me to do and its really very hard to do, but I know what they are saying is true. Its also good to cry to let your emotions out. Remember he is still with you, watching over you and making sure you are ok. You will never ever forget him. I don't have the answers, but my thoughts are with you at this sad time. Take care xx Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sammy	Well your are grieving. It will get better in time. but it doesn't hurt to talk to a therapist. they give grate copping skills and it feels good to talk to someone. May God Bless You. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Dingelbury McCain	i'm so sorry for your loss. everything you are going through sounds completely natural. don't try to rush yourself, just take your time and grieve all that you need to. maybe sooner than you think, you'll be able to think of the happy, wonderful times you spent with your husband and you won't cry all of the time. of course you'll always get sad when you think of him but someday it won't hurt so bad. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Emma T	I am so sorry for your loss. My dad died of cancer when I was 12, so I can appreciate your pain. It's not the same of course, but grief is something you never really understand until you have been there. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it will get better. It is still very early days, but one day you will look back on your time with him and not feel quite so much pain. It is a long process, but you will get through it. If you would like to email me, please go ahead. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

~Skylar Hailey~	aww well im very sorry go your lose. i cant imagine losing a husband. and it will take time.. just hang in there.. god bless you Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

nemesis-original	Ivy, My husband died from cancer in March 2006. It was a second marriage and we had on been married 3.5 years. It is terrible. People who haven't suffered such a loss have absolutely no idea. Life does go on, it takes time, some days I am fine but other days are still so sad. If you want to contact me send a message to my profile with your e-mail address and we can survive it together. best wishes Chrissie xx Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sj1234@btinternet.com	Hi sweetie, am most sorry to hear of your loss only a month ago. It seems that the good people get taken early, Your husband was ONLY 65. I lost my Darling Mum to the same NASTY disease CANCER too, she was only 45 and one of the most healthiest. When I look back, i can remember the endless hours and days of crying, feeling so sad and lonely as you do. Like you I imagine, He was your partner,soulmate and above all your best friend. The days will pass and it really doesn't feel like it at the moment as it really is early days. I done some real hair raising things when I was grieving, snapping and snarling at people for weeks. Ofcourse I didn't mean any of it, as grief attacks us all in so many different and weird ways. It is so important to have atleast one good friend whom you can trust to confide in. The pain that you are feeling will ease, the longing for them on the other hand never stops. You will always miss them but, I keep my Darling Mum locked in my heart. Its a place where nobody or nothing can hurt her anymore. The only comfort to me is that all the pain and unpleasant treatments are now over. I imagine that you also had to stand back and witness the endless treatments that our pathetic NHS provide. I think that it is so easy to neglect ourselves when we are grieving, we seem to go on auto pilot. Afterall I'm sure that your Darling Husband would not wish to see you this way. He will rest so much better just knowing that you are being strong here without him. I hope that you find your own little ways of getting through this as I did. Dont worry about what other people think as they are not where you are right now. I never ever thought that I could get over losing my Mum I was only 25. I know that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel, life does go on as you will see. It really is no consolation, but this will make you a stronger person when things have eased. Hang on in there you will get through this sad time. I sincerely wish you lots of LOVE and will say a prayer for you both. Take Good Care Of Yourself XXXXXX Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ale	I'm sorry for your loss. Everyone deals with loss in a different way, and the time of mourning also differs. Here's my advice.... go to church and speak with a pastor, have them explain the whole concept of death and what it is in Gods eyes. Once you understand this and accept it, things will get so much better. Another thing that you can do to help your emotions in this situation is, do a project to celebrate his life, make a scarp book where you can put your favorite pictures of you guys, write anecdotes, celebrate his life! this will be tough to do and you probably will cry a lot. But its a big step to do and it will help you a lot to deal with this and to go on with your life. Its hard, but you are still here for a reason of God. Good Luck! and we are here to support you!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

loddy hana	death is the only reality in our life but be sure that it is quiet normal to feel sad , and crying is a gift from god because it release our soul from sadness , cry as much as u want , but be sure of something that he is in a good hand now , and u will see him later in a better life better that ours and last forever . Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Debbie B	Poor you - I am so sorry to hear your news. I'm not suprised you are crying constantly - it is still early days for you. You have to let it out - and grief has no time limit - it will tell you when you are through. You will never forget your husband and I'm sure you will miss him forever but the hurt will subside and life will be happy again, it just takes time. It may be worth you seeing your Dr and talking things through with him. I'm sure your lovely husband wouldn't want you to be so upset and not getting on with your life, so do it for him, raise a smile and try and enjoy yourself. I really do wish you the very best of luck xxxx Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Amanda L	First of all, i am sorry for your loss. my friends mum died recently and she is only 13. she has done well to hide it but it is still devastated. I personaly dont think you will totaly move on but you will get on with life. try to keep doing your hobbies as this will take your mind of things.Good luck and once again my deepest sympathes are with you and your family. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

love to help	I Have lost loved ones ,too many. and you can't put a time limit on grief. You will be able to get past the worst of it but you will never forget. and you will start to just think of all the best memories, and know he is always with you. and if you can talk to someone that will just listen. in my prayers Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

smiley	one of the best things that i ever did for myself was to go to a licensed psychologist. I was so afraid at first but I did it. When I first went I remember telling the man that I didn't know if I should be there. My memory was so bad that I could hardly carry on a conversation. There is no excuse for not going. Please find a Christian therapist and just commit to talking once a week for three months and then reevaluate how you feel. Surround yourself with happy people. Life sometimes is like a pregnant woman in labour - when she gives birth after such a tough labour-- lessons are learned and you grow. You then will be able to help others. Pray,read your Bible, and go to a church for support. God bless you and I will pray.` Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

england 4ever	so sad , so young as well ....... i cant answer this as every one is different when it comes to a loss of a loved one ...... but i will offer my condolences and pray all turns out well for you in time , take care of yourself x Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Les T	i am very sorry for your loss and god be with you at this difficult time. This is the time when you need your friends and family around you the most. you will never get over his death but it will get easier and only time can heal, every one handles these situations differently other wise you would not be you. Just remember your husband is watching over you and will guide you through this difficult time but one thing is for sure he is no longer suffering and im sure he would not want you to give up your hobbies. god bless xx Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

belickcat	Hi. I am sorry to hear your sad news. What you describe is natural. No one can answer your question, we are not you and we don't know you so we don't know how long it will take you to get over this. Some people never do get over such trauma, they just learn to live with it and themselves. But please be strong. You can do it. For now remember all the great times and all the love and affection you shared, don't be quick to try and forget. Celebrate what you had in a really positive light (if that's possible) and thank God for having loved him. I hope you have family and friends you can talk to. God bless you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

MysteriouslyMisty	Well, You are entitled to your grief. My Son was murdered he has been gone for 14 yrs. I still miss him and still cry now and again. It takes time. Each person is different. You need to try and find something you can do to get out of your house. Try finding maybe a ladies group you can go to during the week. Something to slowly bring you around to not crying all the time. BU T please note that it is okay to accept your feelings. It was very hard for me. I went back to work a week after he died and I remember driving home at night and you would see families through their windows ( not window peeping ) but they were laughing or maybe they were outside playing together.. I would think I want that I want to feel that normalness again. You will feel that. You give yourself some time and just try and get active in something that gives your mind and heart a break daily. I am very sorry for your loss. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kerry	Hi , i can empathise with you ,i lost my mum to ovarian cancer 9 years ago when i was 28.The pain never goes away but slowly as time passes you will start to think about happy memories more which will help ,and remember that your hubby is now not suffering and he's in a better place where the angels are looking after him.Take care of yourself xx. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

val f1 nutter	my condolences for your loss. you won't feel like this forever. no-one can tell you how long these feeling will last, but things will get better i promise. i send you my love and best wishes. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lucy s	Dear ivywalls! Sorry to hear what happened to you/your husband. I do know how hard it can feel, when somebody who is very important for us just gone and never come back. My dad suddenly died at age of 59, 2 years ago (from lungs` embolia), but sometime feels just like now...and it can hurt the same way just as that time. I loved my dad very much and I miss him still. I never going to forget about him! He was a very important person in my life and he still lives in my memories! When I am having a hard times, I thinking about him, how he would help find the solution or just trying to talk to him in my mind...it helps to think positive, because I know, he would like to see me to be brave and happy and to live in the same way as in the times he was here alive! The thing is, there are sometimes times, when the sorrow can be unbearable, and you need to have a time to cry! You need to have a time to "digest" the pain of being "lonely" without your loving husband... but also you will have to try don`t let your sorrow to "shut you out" from the outside life! You are never alone! I`m sure you have somebody...children,friends or maybe siblings... who you can openly talk or do things together with, if you feel/need to?! Or there are people in the simile situation as you too...and there are people who are not relatives, but are able to listen to you or help you too. Don`t let yourself down! I`m sure, your husband would be happy to see you as a strong person who is able to live a life as in the times as he was with you! Think forward! Your life didn`t stop!! There are days for you to look forward! You are still important to somebody! Important to yourself and your other close relatives! Look after yourself! Eat healthy balanced diet lots of fruits and vegetables...! Exercise! Walk a lot! Try Yoga?! Listen to different music! Write diary or letters, you don`t need to send them...they can help to ease up the pain and motivate you to write about positive and nice things! Don`t forget to enough sleep! It is very important too! ... I know it`s not easy now yet! But I think the best thing for you would be to treat yourself with REFLEXOLOGY treatments! /First 2 months at lest 1 a week would be very useful for you, then later maybe 1 a month./ Reflexology will help you to unwind, relax your body & soul, find the missing balance! And help you sleep too! Be positive!Good luck! All the best! L Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

bassmonkey1969	It's only natural to be going through what you are feeling, especially after the loss of a partner. All I can tell you is that both my Gran and Great Aunt lost their husbands and got through the worst of the pain although they still get upset from time to time at the thought of their husbands. Sorry to hear about your loss but it will get easier in time. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

morning star	My dear, I wish I could tell you how long these feelings will will last but unfortunately I can't. All I can say is that at some time, you will smile again, and you will start to live again. My first husband died of a sudden heart attack at the age of 47. I felt as though I had been pole axed. I was left with 3 teenage children, who were hurt and upset, and one of them went right off the rails for a few years. Even people who have been through the same thing can't help to any great extent, although they do know how you feel. When you are worn out with crying, try to imagine the day you will be able to remember good times with your husband and smile instead of cry. This will eventually happen, although the crying may never stop altogether, it will get less and less. You will discover the truth of the saying "Time is a great healer". In the meantime, accept help and invitations from family and friends, members of your church or social group, if you belong to one. Talk about your husband and remember him. He was your love for many years, and you will never forget himl I will pray for you. My own story has a happy ending. I am now married again to a wonderful man and we have a young daughter who is adored by her now grown up brothers and sisters. I hope you like this poem: do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there, I do not sleep I am a thousand winds that blow I am the diamond glints on snow I am the sun light on ripened grain I am the Gentle autumn rain When you awake in the mornings hush I am the uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight I am the soft stars that shine at night Do not stand at my grave and cry I am not there, I did not die Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

devil_queen_biatch14	so sorry first off. second off there is no time limit of pain of a loved one passing away see if the doctor can give u something to help with the emotional pain. again so sorry Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cleocat	Initial grieving takes around two years but it is different for everyone and with someone so close it must be very hard for you. Crying is good for you so keep it up, share your feeling with whoever is appropriate and if you need to get professional help. Good luck and thing of you Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

vincepac601	no way of predicting, grief and loss are real and very individual. I'm sorry for your loss. Feel free to e-mail if you'd like to chat Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ஐ♥P u S s y CaT♥ஐ♥its a GIRL!!!!	oh god, i am so sorry, all my sympathies... just make sure you always are with someone(family or friend) and 4 weeks its early and normal but do not worry it won't last very long just think that this is life and we're all to it ... hold on, i am sure you are very strong and will go through it sooner than u think. good luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

fanella	everyone is different it takes time to come to terms with your loss talk to your doctor if you feel you could benefit from maybe counselling for your grief but hey its not wrong to cry its perfectly normal even when your thinking of the nice times you shared Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Hondu	Even though time will lessen the pain I believe you will always feel the loss. Your doctor or pastor can help you make contact with a support group that will help ease your pain. That was probably the most help to me when I lost my wife to a stroke at age 56. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Alterfemego	I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what I would feel like if I lost my David. But here's a big hug from Minnesota! You could try writing in a journal. Take all the time you need to get through this grieving process. Take long walks and remember the good times together. Talk about him with family and friends. Take as long as you need. Then begin again. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

newbieize	I am so very sorry for your loss. It will get better but you have to grieve first. You will never ever really get over it but the pain will lessen. God Bless Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No