Rouge Hito
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Death can consume you and eventually break you. Focus on life instead. This is what I was told when someone died and it always made me feel better:
Remember its just the wrapper thats gone. The chocolate is still there.
It basicaly means that her body may be gone but her soul is still with us.
-Rouge
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J-Blaze
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Sorry for you loss, my friend. I wish you and your family the best.
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Im ok UR ok
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You are completely normal get to a hospice counselor only cause they deal w/ death_ maybe they 'll get u to agroup I was in "WAlking the mourners path" But it is Normal my pschey wasn't back to normal for 9mo-1yr 1st my Mom then my Dad 2 1/2 months later They might put you on an antidepressant for a little bit but u r going to be o.k. I know u don't believe me . It will get better ~ I know I used to shout wHen/ my deepest condolance I'll say a prayer for you too Be Gentle with yourself
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Luci D
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I suggest meditation. Sit in a quiet place and center yourself mentally. Breathe in and out. Imagine your breath as an energy going up and down your spine, and imagine yourself as the shell of that energy.
Allow all thoughts to float away so that all you are is breath and body sitting together.
If you do this for long periods of time, you will be able to get through this period of grief. Don't allow your thoughts to dwell on your mom for a few days.
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Hearts2you
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I am verrry verrry sorry for your lose i would neevr want to lose my mother and i know whats its like to lose someone i lost all my grandparents aunt and uncle and if you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to e-mail me im here for you.
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CaliforniaOrange312
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My condolensces to you and your family. To start off, you must accept one's passing. I find using the word "death" a bit to severe, especially when in mourning. What you are going through is relatively normal for any individual in undergoing this painstaking process. Take this time to cover the good times and good memories you had with your mom with family.
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radu
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first of all, am sorry, i know what it hapens to you, i lost 3 people i love, and in the saame week. but there is only one way, you have to continue life normaly, if not is like if you were died, too, you should try to do something like excersicing to get you more busy, or maybe to spend more time with you children, now you know how it feel, spend time with your children so much time that when its your time to leave this world, they can say i really apreciate all the time i spend with mom.
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bluechimera
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Talk to a therapist, or go to a psychiatrist to get some medication for your depression and anxiety. I also recommend joining a grief support group, like Olivia's House, perhaps (although Olivia's House is more for children, I think).
My sympathy for your loss.
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Rach
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People deal with traumatic events differently. These feelings could go away soon, or you coul feel bad for months or years. You might need some time alone, or maybe someone close to help you through this. Do what you think is best, as long as it's not detrimental to you or anyone else. I'm so sorry for your loss =(
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annika_brannstrom
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Hi John,
I am going through the same thing, even though it was almost 2 months ago. I don't know your age, but I never thought this would happen to me at 31. Be glad that your kids knew their grandmother, for the times you had together, at some point maybe you will feel grateful even though it feels hopeless, like a big black hole. I just feel like screaming real loud but haven't done it so far, it's not acceptable in our society I guess. First I thought the first 24 hours were the worst, after that, first week I thought ok, that first week was the worst, etc, and so gradually it gets a little more endurable.
Know how it feels and that it hurts incredibly!!
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Hoping he will bless me with #1
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I am so sorry for your loss. May God be with you and your family during this difficult time in your lives. All I can say is that you need to pray and ask God for guidance and strength.
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winny2zeld
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I am deeply sorry for your loss, but please remember that she is in a better place where she feels no pain. I know that if it was me I would be feeling the same way. I would go to the Dr. he may give you something for the time being to help you cope. Also see if there is any grief counselors in your area. That might help. It's never to late to say goodbye. Although she is not here, she can still hear you.
Here's a poem that I have that keeps me Sane when somebody passes. It helped me when my Grandma passed, she was like a second mother to me and help my parents raise me.
Don't stand by my grave
Don't stand by my grave and weep,
For I am not there.
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond's glint in the snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the Gentle autumn's rain.
In the soft blush of the morning light
I am the swift bird in flight.
Don't stand by my grave and cry,
I am not there,
I did not die.
Unknown Native American Author
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Katliean
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OK first of all don't do anything you will regret!! If you need someone to talk to you can always e-mail me!!
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gator.girl09
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I'm so sorry for you loss :(
losing a family member that close is hard... very hard.
it can cause people to do some crazy stuff.
i suggest you seek medical attention before you do something serious.
i know you are in a lot of pain but if you go into depression or kill yourself or whatever you are thinking then there will be a lot more people hurting than before.
if you don't go seek a therapist or something then talk... talk to anyone about it. if you cant talk about it then write your feelings down. just getting you feelings out will help with the grievance and pain you are feeling.
once again... i am sorry for your loss and i wish the best to you and the rest of your family.
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non o u biznis
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Hey, you. I am so sorry for your loss. I think you should go to your doctor and get a little help, for a short period of time. We can all say all this stuff here, but is is up to you to do something to help yourself. Try and focus on her spirit, by remembering that even though she is gone, her spirit will live on through you, your children, and any other family members. Try to celebrate her life, not mourn her death. It may make it easier for you. Take care. Your family needs you.
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blm92206
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i am so sorry, i know how you feel my dad passed away last year what was worse is i was 6 months pregnant with his first grandchild. i think you just need to take it one day at a time and talk to someone about it that helps. but actually what helped me the most is i had a dream about a week after he passed that in the dream he called me on my cell phone and told me he was ok, and that was all he said. i felt like it was really him telling me he was ok it may sound strange but i believe it.
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Question Queen ™
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I feel sorry for your loss. I wish I can comfort you. That's normal symptoms of grief, & I know it's traumatic to see what you saw.
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momdidi
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Losing someone is hard. I lost my dad 8 years ago and it still hurts. Don't be afraid to grieve for her. If you don't deal with your pain, it will eat you up. If you are really worried about your mentality, talk to your doctor or your local grief counselors. There is usually always some type of counseling offered for free. Good luck and I'll keep you in my prayers.
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rhsaunders
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It might well help to seek counsel from someone -- a preacher, psychologist, or psychiatrist whom you could trust. Life occasionally deals from the bottom of the deck, and one has to roll with the punches (to thoroughly scramble the metaphors).
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creations
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....
It takes time to heal.... Try to get together with people w/similar problem, maybe visiting a local hospital.. http://www.howtoheal.org/..
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meee
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im so sorry for your loss. i would suggest maybe some counceling to help you through this rough time and your emotions that you are feeling.
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cgflann
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First of all I want to start out by saying I am so sorry about your mother. Even though I don't know you, I know exactly what it is like as my mom died six years ago.
It takes a lot of time to get through the loss of someone. Take it easy over the next few weeks especially and give yourself time to grieve properly. Sometimes joining a group for people who have recently lost loved ones can be helpful. If you really find that you are having trouble, you may want to consider grief counseling.
What it comes down to is that you have to do more than get over missing your mother. You have to re-learn how to live your life except this time without your mom. It is difficult to realize how much impact someone has on our life until they are not there anymore.
As for your kids, if they are old enough to understand, you should sit down with them and have a serious discussion and allow them to share as much as possible. Maybe they can come up with a way to make some sort of memory to her or something of that sort whether it be through pictures or something they create on their own.
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azawalli
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My condolences on your loss, John O. Losing someone you love is never easy, and the things that you describe--depression, confusion, blocks of missing time--are natural. You're not going crazy and you will get through this; most everyone does. Do what you need to do in terms of funeral arrangements and getting her estate settled. Don't be afraid to cry and be sad. Don't be afraid to turn to friends for support--men suck at this kind of thing and need to learn to do it better. Try and do one small thing each day that helps you move forward in life. Try to spoil yourself a little bit each day. Give yourself time to get better. Grief is not easy. I've lost both parents and a girlfriend (to suicide) and it just takes time to get over your grief. If you really feel you're falling apart, by all means go and see a professional, but remember, there are no shortcuts to getting better.
My best wishes to you.
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Sacarawits P
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Argh....these are my worst nightmares... either of my parents dying.....
You should be keeping lots of people around you....keep your friends close to you and dont block yourself up.....the main thing to help at this point is being around people.....and try too have fun-yes this may sound crazy but you have to fake it till you make it as they say....having a good laugh will make you feel better....even if you start crying again after....it will get easier with time:)
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jacko
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You really should seek therapy about this: those blocks of missing time may well indicate a form of dissociation, which needs to be handled by someone with some expertise in this area. See depression, and anxiety, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on pages 2, and 6. Call Hospice (phone book). Go to http://www.mind.org.uk/ Type "grief" in the taskbar, and press enter, and http://www.chatmag.com/topics/health/grief.html Email jo@samaritans.org
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petunia1
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It is very hard to go through. My mother died when I was sixteen. It takes time and lots of grieving to get over it. It might take up to a year until you start feeling better but will hurt for a long time. The way your mother died sounds like it was an extra shock on the whole family, so sorry. The only thing you can do is to think of the good years that you had to enjoy her and have her with you. Unfortunately part of life is dying. Now she is with God and is very happy. She will always be a part of you as you are a part of her. Go to a Dr. and get something for your depression if you have to, it will help. So Sorry.
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Richard S
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My mother died, and I never got over it. For the first time, I was all alone in the world. Yes, there are other family members, but your mother is that part of you that no one can replace.
What will sustain you is everything she said and done. You will be surprised how much of her is in you. God Bless.
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Deloris
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My dad died in 2005. I'm an adult and you'd think that this would be expected, like a normal cycle of life right?
It didn't go that way with me.
I had all what you have right now.
I can tell you , friend, that it gets easier. 'One day at a time' (hate hearing that). But it's true.
You won't die from the anxiety attacks, I promise. They are bad, I know. Oh crap do I know.
Email me privately if you'd like.
Peace to you tonight.
D
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ESA
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My grandfather is a psychiatrist and he told me about grieving once. I think it takes about 6 months and you go through different stages that are completely normal. See a therapist for help. I'm sorry for your loss...
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broiler1181
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You will go through a natural grief prosses. don't deny it and don't fight it, it is healthier to go through the stages then to fight your grief and insanity. Accept it for what it is, a tradgedy for you and your family but a moving on for your mother. Life will go on for you and your family and someday someone will grieve the loss of you, just don';t make it any time soon.
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Wildcat Angel
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going through the loss of a parent can be so very hard....especially if you were close...it took me a year and a half before i could even talk about my mother with out crying my eyes out....it sounds as if you are having alot more physical symptoms than i did though....really the best thing you could possible do is seek medical advice, maybe they can get you some type of anxiety medication...it will probably make you feel like you are in your own little world for awhile, but it will help...good luck...and i am soo sorry...~hugs~
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