I am 38yrs. old. I struggle daily with childhood emotional wounds.?

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oonasmum	What you described is PTSD, the worries, the flashbacks, the feelings of inadequacy. You said that you see a therapist, perhaps you need one who specializes in PTSD specifically. I had just about given up on being well until I found a therapist who really seemed to "get it". You can be well, and I hope it isn't long before you are. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Tre78	You need to learn to forgive for what people have done to you as a child. There is nothing you can do now to these people. The only thing you can do is let go. If you are a Christian, I would encourage you to read the Bible about forgiveness and letting things go. Just like God has forgiven us. Trust me. You will feel a whole lot better. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

limon	Should write a list of all the things you have wonderful about yourself, your eyes, that you have a good heart, that you are intelligent. Write a list of all the things you are grateful for. When negative thoughts come up just start thinking good things, say no to the past. Letting go of the pass, will help you move forward have you read the book the secret or watched the dvd, I highly recommend it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ron D	Normal is just a setting on the washing machine. Getting an education can only help you by increasing your ability to think rationally and analytically. Once you recognize your parents' faults then you are responsible for avoiding them yourself. It sounds like you are doing that. Forgiveness is the key to letting go of the emotional trauma. For example, I simply refuse to hold a grudge against my parents for their stupidity. I learned a lot from their mistakes, and overcoming the problems their mistakes caused me. You have too. But don't stop overcoming the problems their mistakes caused. I believe God placed us on earth to learn. Whatever our situation, we each learn specific things in specific ways because we are unique individuals. Still, the human experience is a common one. You are far from alone. Controlling thoughts is hard work. I prefer to decide what I will think--Think Great Thoughts! Problems are opportunities in work clothes. Problems are made to be solved. When I think of bad, scary things, of failing, of not being good enough to have what I have, to be blessed as much as I am blessed, I simply think of where I am going today. I have work to do, children to care for, a spouse to encourage and love, neighbors and friends to do kind things to. There is too much good to be done to spend very long thinking about the bad that has happened. Over time, this course in life and faith that God will help me do better and be better has resulted in miracles, large and small. Pray that the memories will go away, and that the lessons learned will strengthen your resolve day be day. Then be patient and diligent. Godspeed! Now go and be courageous and virtuous and watch your world change. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

KathieJo	I don't think you're weird at all! You are actually very normal, for the awful childhood you had...You probably are having flashbacks (PTSD)...and anyone with your background would have a lot of anxiety and fears. When a child isn't loved and cared for, it grows up to feel unloved, unwanted, worthless and frightened. Why wouldn't you? You are a strong, intelligent person who has learned to cope in some very healthy ways, with your painful childhood. Keep going to your therapist, take your medications (I hope you are on some!) and try to expand your coping skills! What a wonderful example you are to those people lucky enough to know you and your story! KJL Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lolita	MAKE YOURSELF BUSY WITH FUN THINGS! really it helps, when your busy you dont think about stuff and thought this wont solve your problems a shrink should help. Try doing fun things, do out with friends and do stuff ... all the time and try making new friends. Join yoga, rock climbing, maybe belly dancing... most of these places have demo weeks so you can try them out for free, you'll forget about your problems and you'll have the time of your life. you'll never know until you try. I speak from experience, i was kinda lazy before when it came to trying new things but in university i met a lot of new people and i am taking belly dancing, ballroom dancing and doing a lot of stuff... things i find interesting but was too afraid and lazy to try. Laughing a lot docent help unless u genuinely find things funny. When you make friends and meet new people and go out with them and just chill, you will naturally laugh more and this way its much better! You dont seem very happy...its not an insult, just an observation. you didnt mention if you were married. try dating, i know it can be hard 'trusting' people, but i dont mean go into a serious relationship, i mean just try asking guys you like or find attractive out for lunch or coffee, keep things light and casual, you'll have a life and be happy. This way, you dont even have to be committed, you'll just get to have a fun and spend time with someone you enjoy being with. You will improve your self confidence and 'move on' a little from your childhood trauma. Honestly, look and see if any program or class is offered in your neighborhood or collage. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Just Thinking...	OCD. Stop looking for problems and start helping someone else that has some and desperately needs your type of help. Volunteer at a homeless shelter and listen to their stories and do what you can to help them. I guarantee you will begin to put the past in proper perspective. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

huckleberry	I appreciate that you are hurting deeply. However, the harsh reality of life is that NO ONE outside of yourself will be able to heal you. You absolutely must find a way to heal your self. You are at least 30 years past your childhood. 30 years!!! Do you still have a teddy bear from 30 years ago? Clothes? tricycle? I suspect not. You managed to let those things go. You can let the rest go. Your Mother has her issues to deal with (don't take them on), your Father has issues (don't take them on). You are a grown up. Start acting like one. It takes some work but the reward is fabulous. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

fengweimn	My parents were always good to me but I was pretty much universally hated everywhere growing up, I know what you mean about having 'flashbacks.' What helps me is exercising fairly regularly and learning/reading, usually what I do is I read for a while until a particular subject catches my interest then I become obsessed with learning about that. Just do whatever you can to not think too much about it, everyone is screwed up in their own way and the only difference is that some people dwell on it a lot more than others and let it affect their lives (I am not criticizing, I often fall into this category). Also remember that there are a lot of people living on this earth who wish that their childhood emotional wounds were their biggest problem; in truth you have it pretty good. This might be a weird suggestion but if you like foreign languages I would suggest independently studying an Asian language that uses characters (not an alphabet) for writing, for a few reasons: a) when you are feeling sad/hurt you can really lose yourself in learning the writing b) it's tremendously satisfying and gives you a great sense of accomplishment c) you can realistically measure your progress. d) it's a better use of time than sitting around watching TV or staring out the window, which people like us tend to spend a lot of time doing If you are interested in this path, I can recommend some good Mandarin learning books for you; other than that my advice is just like that of everyone else: eat healthy, exercise, write in a journal, find a passion, take antidepressants, don't hesitate to cry, have a dog, think happy thoughts, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, remember that you are special, read chicken soup for the soul books, and blah blah. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

angel	try and focus on the good things in your life keep yourself busy that way there's less chance of thinking back to those bad times in your life. Maybe join a group with people in similar situations, sometimes talking about it and knowing your not alone helps at the same time you will be helping others and that might help you feel good about yourself Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

michelle	You are not weird! You have dealt with emotional abuse from your childhood by excelling in college. That is a normal coping method- but it was also a way to avoid your feelings. I do think talking to a therapist or going to a group of some kind would be a huge help.- It was for me. Best of luck! :) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

dancin fish	write it down, get it out of your system. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

KayDee	I can really relate to you question. I was abused as a child and I honestly don't think you ever totally get over it. It's like post-traumatic stress, things can trigger memories and bring you down. I'm 41 now and I think I'm over it as much as I ever will be. I don't think about it as much as I did up to about the age of 35. The way I got over it was to confront my abuser. I did this by letter and it was a major burden off of my shoulders. It was like tranfering the burden from myself to the abuser. There, now you deal with it! I could go on and on and it would take me hours to write my story but just try to surround yourself with positive people and get rid of all the people in your life that suck the happiness out of you. If you try to be positive it can change your life around. My mother is also mentally ill and was very abusive. I was not wanted as a child and always felt like a burden. My father was not emotionally present so I felt alone. I also have suffered from anxiety and feel I have built a shell around myself. I'm afraid to get too close to people because they always let me down in the past. I don't trust people and I used to get defensive really fast. Until you realize what your problems are, you can't change them. I have to make a conscious effort everyday to be positive and not let others actions bring me down. I have 3 siblings with all sorts of emotional problems as well and it's because of the abuse. Anyone reading this, please don't abuse your kids. It hurts for a lifetime!! Kids don't forget, I remember being abused at the age of 3! Love your kids and tell them that you love them! If you don't tell them, they'll think you don't!! Words can hurt deeply and kind words can make all the difference in the world! You are not weird at all, I was an overachiever too, because not matter what I did as a child, it wasn't good enough. I spend my whole childhood trying to get my mother to love me and doing all those things never worked! That is why you are on overachiever, because you are trying to prove you are worthy! And yes , you are worthy! And don't forget it, and don't be so hard on yourself!! I'm with you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Catherine	Well your child hood wasn't the best. I do not know how to tell you to move on. People make it seem like it is normal to forgive and forget. Some people like you and I can not do this easily. It haunts us for the rest of our lives. Try talking to a counselor. Good Fortune :) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sharon C	The best thing you can do is to give it to God.... he will be the only one that can and will take away your pain... Pray and ask him too... my heart goes out to you.... I feel your pain... start trying to live each day for God.... helping other people who are hurting also will help you... there are so many people out here today that are hurting..... start working with children.... turn your pain into a victory for you... living your life the best you know how.... Get some of Dr. Wayne Dryer's book.... I love reading his books..... they will help.... Also .. book by Joyce Meyers.....she always said that she had a terrible start... but .. she says she is going to have a wonderful finish...Read good books days you are feeling low.... start giving of yourself... and help other people ... I will be praying for you ... God Bless!!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

*barsoremegha*	No, you are not weird. Going to a therapist is definitely a good idea. laughing alot will be a good help and also finding a life-time companion that will be able to help you with your wounds. Example: be a good listener, be able to calm you down if you start breaking down, and definitely someone who will make you feel loved, etc. That's all I can think of now! I hope that it all gets better for you! barsoremegha Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

itsme	You need to be a kind and loving parent to the child part of yourself. Mentally and silently tell yourself positive and affirming things that your real parents should have told you but didn't. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

angelr1790	This is hard i know, and it won't go away. But you will find that as you do get older, you will come to understand that you did not do anything to cause these things.... We have got to realize that some people in our family's, and in our lifes were just not good people... and that they have paid for what they said or done in one way or the other... and we need to just let it all go you learn to forgive... but you never forget...good luck! It will get easier i promise you that much..... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

MadforMAC	Why don't you want to go to counseling, that is a sure fire way to really deal with this. Flashbacks are indicative of possibly PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). When people go through some rough things, it comes out in a few different ways and memories bubbling up from the depths of your psyche is one symptom. You can find many self-help books in book stores or the library which can help you to a certain extent. Also check out CBT which is changing the negative thought processes. Some people feel it is better than the standard therapy. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Simmi	Go see a therapist. You need some individual guidance on these issues. It would be worth it! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cookie	Can you try to forgive the people who hurt you as a child and maybe realize they had problems of their own and probably feel worse than you do about your bad childhood years? Maybe as soon as you start thinking about how bad your childhood was, you can turn it into a positive (I know it's hard!) and say, I am going to learn to love people, be kind to people, considerate, uplifting, and take your bad experience and use it as a guideline for your life because you know what the flip side of that feels like? I know very few adults that had truly "wonderful" childhoods -- you are not alone! Tell yourself you are all right, believe it, and trust your instincts. If watching a sad movie or reading a sad book brings you to a bad place...don't do it! If certain people make you depressed...stay away from them! Life is hard and you have to keep good people around you and be kind to yourself. I am certain someone as insightful as you has more people that love you than you know. God bless! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

gregyamkingbrown	Here are some good ideas: 1. Do something that gets your heart rate up a bit like, walking, running, biking, and swimming. 2. Eat Whole, Organic foods like: Broccoli, Cabbage, Organic Brown Rice, Beans, Spinach, Sweet Potato, Apples, and other fruits and vegetables in their Natural State. 3. Avoid eating corn, white bread, white rice, white potatoes, candy, sodas, chips, and anything else that you already know you shouldn’t be eating. 4. Drink clean water as your beverage of choice. Avoid Fruit drinks and fruit juices (unless YOU juice them yourself) 5. Stop smoking, drinking beer & wine, and drinking coffee. 6. Get 8 hours of sleep each night. 7. Hang out with people who want to be healthy. 8. Avoid anything with High Fructose Corn Syrup. 9. Look into taking a multi-vitamin. Tone up the muscles: 1. Join a gym and get a trainer. 2. If you’re short on cash, start a light stretching & yoga regimen. 3. Do push-ups, and light dumbbell curls for the upper body. 4. As I said above, walk, run, swim, and or bike 5. Take an aerobics class, a yoga class, or some other fitness class. 6. Join the local YMCA. 7. Buy or borrow this book by Bill Pearl called GETTING STRONGER. In the book, he describes everything you need for a great fitness plan. 8. Crunches & Curl ups for the abs. Mental Health: 1. Get a friend to talk to each day about your feelings. 2. If you have some money or insurance, get a counselor to talk to. 3. Learn how to meditate. 4. Join a support group for the issue you’re dealing with. 5. Ask your Higher Self (or God) for guidance. 6. Start keeping a diary or journal about your feelings & thoughts. 7. Write a ‘gratitude’ list every night. 8. Do something that makes you happy each day like: listen to your favorite music, draw, paint, write, or anything creative. 9. Do something for someone else who needs help. 10. If the above suggestions don't improve your mental health, talk with your therapist about the possibility of taking some medication. 11. Check out the book FEELING GOOD by David Burns. Take care of yourself Yam King Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

LilahFairy	Have you heard or read the book.. "Peace of Body, Peace of Mind." ? by Rose VanSickle. This book I'm reading now & there is a part on responsablity & who to blame & who not to. I'd suggest reading that. I know some other books, tho I'm not sure if you are into that stuff. Hang in there! Just remember you are not alone. safe hugs if wanted. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

flyfishermanusa	Get over it. The therapist isn't going to make the problem go away. Only you are. Don't embrace it and wear it like some badge of pitty so you can see it every time you look in the mirror. If you can't find the strength within yourself to face the wrong done to you then how can someone else make you feel right. There are several people in this world with much worse childhood experiences (my wife) that have moved on. Stand up straight look in the mirror and find some pride in yourself. You're born alone and you die alone. What you do in between is up to you. If you want to Look for some cosmic answer to the wrongs done to you, it ain't gonna happen. It sounds to me like you're a successful, intelligent woman. You should know that what was done to you is not right. So it's up to you, only you have the key to that ball and chain, unlock it and move forward. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Chris	What i do just to deal with things that keep me wound up is take any old spiral notebook and just write down your thoughts exactly as they come. Just raw, pure emotion on the pages. You'll be suprised. I thought it was dumb at first but it's only been a month and i've written 42 pages. When ever you think about something that you already wrote about read it over and just add anything else you feel you need to. It really gets it out. I keep it with me where ever i go. In my backpack and under my bed. And you're not wierd you just found an escape. That's good it means you figured out how to cope. Hope this helps. Good luck =) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kalgirl	Don't feel weird, your not alone, I have a wonderful marriage, two beautiful kids a nice house everything i've ever dreamt of and I still carry the scars of my childhood, I don't think you ever really get over these things, you just have to find a way to live with them. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

candyapple0488	I wish I could put myself in your shoes and go through the tough times you have traveled in your life but I can't so I can't really say that I know exactly how you feel. I am 19 years old and currently at school trying to obtain a degree in nursing. I understand that life can be terrible to us sometimes. I have had similar problems. I have a father who is loving to me and my family but he does drink a lot and it makes me depressed sometimes. I also feel bad about myself when I feel that I don't do in school as well as I should or other people do. I could go on for hours about my past and how much I have been hurt before. I found a way to deal with this because I realized that if I did not, I would go crazy and become depressed and my life would be over. I try not to think about bad times as much as possible. When something is not going right in my life, I concentrate on the good in my life. I say to myself "you know, it could be much worse" I have learned to accept some of my past and see it as a part of life. Who said life was going to be easy? I listen to music when life brings me down, talk to friends, try to go out even though school does not let me sometimes because I am overloaded with homework. I just don't let the bad in my life get in the way. The one piece of advice is to be around people and communicate with them. See your friends and go out with them. Spend time with your family, husband, and/or kids (if you have them). Find what your passion is in life and what you want to get out of it. Another thing I know is that if there is something wrong with a person you love, it is pointless to try to make them change because only the person him/herself has the power to do that. If they can't change themselves, then you must change the way you act or deal with the issue. Sorry I could not be more help. Best of luck to you and if you ever want to talk or ask me something feel free to IM me. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

boxerpuplover@sbcglobal.net	I am 28 years old and I have the same daily struggles. I write each day. Actually, type. I put all of my feelings there. Maybe they are the same feelings over and over but I feel like I am talking to someone in a way. I am a stay at home mom and have a very good marriage but I still cannot forget the things that were said and done. As you said though, never abused sexually. Mentally yes. No one understands what you struggle with except you. I have yet to figure out what I can do other than find someone whom you barely know and spill your guts.. If you get some really good advice pass it on. Peace Love and Happiness. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

berkshire1043	No you're not weird. It's good you earned degees, partially as a motivation to deal with unresolved issues. As a person who has dealt with depression and dwelling on the past, I offer this: Realize that both of your parents have or had mental illnesses. Your mother, unfortunately is mentally ill. Your father likely had a mental illness or severe depression, because that is what leads to addiction. Therefore, you have a family history and predisposition to depression or mental issues. So, seek help. Most likely you cannot get away from the past because there is not enough in the present to divert your attention, and you haven't reconciled with your past. A counselor/psychiatrist would probably help a lot. And there is nothing wrong with getting that help. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

GD-Fan	Hi I am in my mid-20's and all of a sudden was facing some similar problems to you..it seemed all the crap from my childhood was returning. I found a therapist who specializes in EMDR...which is a new kind of therapy to help people with traumatic stuff from childhood,or more specifically people who have PTSD just google EMDR..that may help, or even just regular talk therapy, I know that you asked what to do besides therapy, but, when you have many things circulating all the time like that..EMDR may help..I also do yoga, attend church regularly and am trying new hobbies, to distract my mind. All of these things together are helping me to not focus so much on my past. Hope this helps you Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Cheryl P	You have two paths to walk, one will teach you that it isn't how much you were loved, but how well you can love others, and the other is to dwell on the past, and wish for love that is beyond your reach. Stop looking behind you and look in front. Someone is looking for your love. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No