I don't know what to do for my 14 year old who thinks she is fat.?

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emily k	coming from a 14 year old girl who is a normal size but feels huge, you cant say anything to change how she sees herself but be positive to her. keep reminding her her body will change and the curves will fall into all the right places maybe try introducing her to strong beautiful realistically sized celeb women that she can look up to? good luck xx p.s. all this will pass i promise. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

horney and happy	i would talk to your doctor going on a diet that not approved by a doctor could lead to eating disorders Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kimberly M	Diet, exercise and counseling! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

miss v	Try to see a doctor first and explain your concerns and the effect this situation is having on her,if its getting her depressed she eat more which wont help and she will end up going in circles,I'm sure they will help,if he recommends her to a nutritionist she might have to follow a diet Plan and there comes mum to help her stick to it,motivate her,give her goals,buy a nice dress,or a piece of clothing that she really loves and that she doesn't fit into and work together with her to achieve that goal(fitting into the dress),works like a reward scheme .but above all keep reminding her that she is beautiful as she is . Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sara :]	Get her on a healthy diet and exersice. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sarge927	I feel for you -- my niece, who just turned 10, is already on the "Oh, I'm SOOOOO fat" kick. The best things you can do for her are (1) reassure her that she's just fine the way she is, (2) remind her that she's still growing, and (3) encourage her to develop permanent eating and exercise habits that will be healthy for her -- and her weight, but you don't have to tell her that if you don't want to. Here are a few things you can tell your daughter: 1. Exercise is very important, so do something every day, even if it's just a 15-minute walk around the neighborhood. Don't say you don't have time for exercise -- you have to make time. Yes, it takes time and effort, but you're worth it! 2. Walk as much as you want, but don't do cardio for more than 40 minutes at a time. If you do, you risk burning muscle instead of fat. 3. If you do strength training, use light weights and do lots of repetitions. That'll really help you "tone up." 4. Your diet will make you or break you. Make a commitment to learn good eating habits. 5. Eat breakfast every day within an hour of getting up. People who don't are 450% more likely to be overweight. 6. Eat six small meals or snacks per day instead of three squares per day or one big meal per day. Your body expends energy digesting your food, so eating smaller portions more often keeps your metabolism running high because you're constantly digesting food. 7. Avoid these as much as possible: -- Trans fat (any type of partially or fully hydrogenated oil) -- High fructose corn syrup (soft drinks are LOADED with it) -- Fast food -- Junk food -- White sugar, white flour, white rice, white potatoes -- The deadly C's (cookies, cakes, candy, chips, cola) 8. Build your diet around these trim-body-friendly foods: -- Nuts, any kind (almonds are best) -- Beans/Legumes -- Fresh vegetables (green is GREAT!!!) -- Dairy products (as long as they're low-fat or non-fat) -- Eggs -- Lean meats (fish and poultry top the list) -- Olive oil -- Whole grain breads/cereals/pasta -- Fresh fruits (anything that ends in "berry" is a winner) -- Tea (Green Tea or black pekoe tea 9. Desserts and treats are the exception, not the rule. Having said that, however, (1) you can have a couple of pieces of chocolate every day - just don't overdo, and (2) Allow yourself one "cheat meal" every week where you eat and drink whatever you want as long as you don't gorge yourself. That'll help keep you from feeling deprived and it'll make it easier to stick with your new healthy eating plan. Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

SexyMommy2B	Maybe start eating and cooking healthier and I'mproving you own eating habits (im not saying that you dont do this already). Also, maybe you can start working out with her. Make it seem like you are doing it for yourself and just want her to support you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

V	20 lbs overweight is a lot. instead of crying she should excersise and eat heathier Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

babie_gurl	well honestly most teenagers go through this problem. (i should know, im 15 lol). anyways is that all she does is cries? she doesn't try to eat healthy or exercise? maybe you should put her on a simple diet like no candy, dersert, kool-aid and sodas. and urge her to eat only fruits and vegetables and drink plenty of water. then maybe walk with her to the park everyday so she can have someone to help lose a couple of pounds. or even jump roping everday for only 30 min. its a great way to get rid of calories in only 1 hr. and affordable. other ways are cruches, dancing, sit-ups and so on. well i hope this advice works somehow for you and your daughter:) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

clearancejoe	The media and most of society sends the message that if you do not fit a certain mode that something is wrong with you. I suggest that you find things that would interest your daughter, which at the same time would stop her from obsessing about her weight as well as to provide her with some physical activity. I also, suggest that you include more grains, fruit and vegetables into your daughters diet, as well as to continue to reassure her that she is beautiful and that you love her. Do more mother daughter things together and build her self confidence, because today it maybe her weight, tomorrow it could be something else. Building her self confidence will empower her. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ga.peach67	Maybe get her involved in a sport she likes with her peers or you and she could have an after dinner walking session each night. Assure her everyone needs to work out for health and not just to lose a few pounds. It will not only get her into a healthier lifestyle at a young age but will give you both a chance to bond. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Steve	"Only 20 lbs overweight" You better do something quick. A girl who is 20 lbs overweight at 14 will be 50lbs overweight at 18 and 100lbs overweight at 30. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ah-oom	talk to her that being healthy doesn't mean you should look like a skeleton and that she should believe in herself no matter how she looks like, some shrink power always works! and that the stuff you see in the magazne are all airbrushed! men like big butts not small ones! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

nugbug456	I use to be a 12 year old bulimic/ anorexic.. my Dad was the one who gave me a hard time about my weight. And although I love my mom she was always obsessing about her weight so then so did I.. I am now 25 almost 26 and have been fighting with this my whole life. I didn't know in till recently I was obsessive/ compulsive.. about my weight. My Dr. put me on very light meds to help my obsessive/ compulsive disorder. (I'm more of a naturalist.. I hate meds, I was just so bad I need help) But for the first time in my life I feel normal. My suggestion is take her to a physiologist. Someone who can provide meds if needed. I would suggest you get her help before it gets to serious. It's even harder to fix once she starts binging and purging. She needs to talk with someone other than you or her friends. I'm sure you're a great Mother, so please don't think it's anything you've done. No 14 year old should be crying over her weight. (the poor thing) Also, if she doesn't play sports, try that too.. My boyfriend and I play tennis.. (I can't be trusted to go to the gym, I'll workout till I pass out) It's great and has helped me keep my weight in check without feeling like I'm "working out" Even if it's just you and her going to kick the soccer ball for an hour or two 2x's a week.. it helps.! I hope I've been of some help! Sending my best wishes for you both!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

pinky6655	I just have a comment to make to Kate F!!! you need to shut your mouth. This mother is asking a serious question and is concerned about her daughter. I cant stand it when people come on here and judge everyone. Why dont you look in the mirror and see the horrible person that you are before you go judging others!!!!!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

NY Lady	you could try and help her lose a few pounds togther. Invent fun snacks for her that are lower and calories and healthier than what she normally eats. Take her for a walk around the nebiorhood together....or a bike ride on saturday. make it fun, not like work. She will be happy when she realizes that she could lose a pant size or too just by having fun with her mom. good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

megs	i think you may want to bring her to a DR. It is the beginning of an eating disorder and she needs help now, before it gets worse! I hope it all works out- it is just so sad what is happenning to teens these days! And maybe you can start only bringing home healthy snacks and excercise with her! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Well la-di-da	This is tough because you're 1. going against our society's beauty standards that are thrown down our throats on a daily basis, and 2. dealing with a very impressionable teenager. I worry about this exact same thing for my young daughter. I would say to educate her about the way the media works, in magazines/television, etc...there is a WONDERFUL film that I saw in college called "Killing Us Softly"...it is a motivational speaker talking about how the media objectifies women and how unfair and unreasonable the standards are. This is at least a start, and it wouldn't hurt to consult with a counselor about this who may have other ideas. I'm glad that you're realistic enough to see the dangers of having a daughter with these kind of worries....some parents would just pass it off as "phase". I understand that for your daughter's health it would be a good idea for her to lose weight, but you just don't want her to do it for the wrong reason. It's a delicate balance but you can do it. Just teach her what healthy habits are, and definitely let her know that being anorexic OR bulimic are NOT healthy alternatives. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Breene	Do NOT bring up her weight. She is already very aware of it. But deffinatly do fun physical activities with her. Play sports as much as you can. Go swimming and actually swim (instead of floating around in an inner tube), challenge her to races to the other side of the pool. Go for long, brisk walks. Jog, if she is willing, but that's a big step and can be difficult, so walking is fine if that's what she is ready for. If she is willing, join a soft-ball team or other team together, if there is one in your area. I live in a small town and we have soft-ball leagues sponsored by local businesses. If you are part of a church, organize volley-ball nights or even dances. Anything to get you moving. Do it with your daughter, and always invite her friends, if she is comfortable with that, to make it more fun and less like work. I don't like the idea of "working out" (doing excercie classes, for example) unless the person thinks it is fun. It's worth a try once or twice though, to see. Also, surround her with good-for-you foods and buy very little junk food. Don't count calories or talk about what is in junk food...that is how people with eating disorders start out. Just eat the things that you know are good for you. TONS of fruits and vegetables plus lean meats (chicken and fish). Yogurt is a good snack that is still sweet. Fat-free string cheese is good too, and gives young women much-needed Calcium. You should be eating these things too, so that she sees that they can taste good, especcially after you get used to them (it can take a while). Don't bring soda into the house. Instead keep lots of bottled water, real juice (with no high-fructose corn syrup) and skim milk in the house. Try not to talk about loosing weight, just make healthy changes. Loosing weight takes time, but the emotional effects of a healthy lifestyle begin almost emediatly. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

BlahBlahBlah	STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!!!! I am 14 and know this. Get her into sports and pretty soon she'll start feeling confident. Try soccer or swimming. Dance is another way. DO NOT TRY TO INTODUCE HER TO PEOPLE HER OWN SIZE!!! This is a direct way of telling her that she is fat. Don't talk to her friends parents about it either. Her true friends wont care. Have a friend join a club with her like key club or builders club or other volunteer groups. It doesn't matter what she looks like, its how she looks at herself. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ecyb	just try to get her to be happy with who she is and feel comfortable with herself....also you can try to talk to her friends and tell them to be encouraging to her and make sure there aren't any weight jokes being thrown around...and if you want to help her also just get her to eat healthier by cooking healthier meals and making sure she eats the right things, that way she doesnt really know it but she is losing some weight...i wish you luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

LOVE you all	over weight is when you way 180 to 200 pounds so next time she says "I'm fat" say honey your not fat if she "yes I am your just saying that because I'm your daughter" then say "well if you think your fat then do something about I don't think your fat but if you want I'll get you some exercise videos" or something like that. In fact you could just buy a tredmile its great to stay in shape Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kestrelk8	instead of focusing on her duress at being even slightly overweight, focus on the fact that she is young and has a lifetime to turn this problem around. she needs to be encouraged to eat more healthy and exercise every day. try suggesting to her that you guys take a brisk walk for 30-45minutes everyday. suggest that she try signing up for some kind of sports team she likes. its best if you and her can exercise together though because you can use that time to boost her morale and to make her feel like she's not so alone. congratulate her and make positive comments as you begin to notice results in her. also, when you shop at the grocery store make healthier food choices (maybe even pick up a healthy cooking cook book!) and get rid of any junk food you have lying around your house. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kate f	Be a real parent!! I hate my parents for not buying me healthy foods!! You are the reason why she's overweight! I'm a vegetarian and basically all my parents buy is meat!! (thanks for the support mom and dad) If you gave her ONLY healthy foods, she wouldn't be the way she is now. You should be ashamed of yourself. If you can't afford to feed you kids healthy food, don't have any children!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

emt877	I wouldn't worry about to much. I would say have her perform some exercise and healthier eating habits and tell her don't worry about her friends everyone is different!!!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

eat♥dance.sleep repeat	take her to a dietitian or nutritionist, so that she can get a healthy diet that will be perfect for her. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Crimson Crow	Compare her to really fat people, and then she'll hopefully realise she is skinny. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lessershoe	Keep her away from most media, that is were a lot of the negative body image comes from. Get her on a balanced diet and exercise with her you'll help her loose weight and bond. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

dolphin2253	Get her on a balanced diet and exercise plan. This will help her to feel better about herself. Be sure to monitor her diet closely though. You don't want her to stop eating. She just needs to eat healthy. Teach her foods that are good and foods that aren't. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Super_Star	Continue to affirm her. Do not just focus on her appearance, but her overall accomplishments. If she had a better self esteem, she wouldn't fret so much. Of course, 14, as you know, is a horrible age for this sort of thing. Everyone feels ugly and like an outcast. Getting her involved in a hobby she can excel at will help her get a feeling of accomplishment. Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kamran	Tell her that she is growing. It isn't healthy to become too thin whilst growing. Also, tell her why does that matter? Does she think people will laugh, does she think she is ugly? I personally don't like the look of people who are too skinny, I'd rather date someone who be overweight than underweight!!! Try to get her to accept herself. Weight doesn't matter, it is how you feel that is important. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No