When should I tell my boyfriend I have cancer?

We have been dating 3 weeks. He is 23 (today), and I am 21, we are both in college here at Texas Tech. I am in and out of the hospital, and I've lied to him and told him I don't know what�...

We have been dating 3 weeks. He is 23 (today), and I am 21, we are both in college here at Texas Tech. I am in and out of the hospital, and I've lied to him and told him I don't know what's wrong and I am getting tests run. My cancer is very aggressive..

Anyway, I want to tell him later, when we're falling for each other, because I think it would be too much information at this time. But if I wait till we're that serious, he may get upset that I wasn't honest with him earlier. I don't want to lose him he is the first guy that has treated me this good and make me feel so good about myself. When should I tell him, if at all?
Additional Details
lol..for those that say "in the bedroom"..we are not yet sexually active

snowangel	tell him.........dont lie or he will never trust you

Bruce	Be honest with him and tell him and tell him its one of the hardest things you had to do because of the risk of losing him and let him take it from there. I don't know what kind of cancer you have but let me offer you an alternative, You can try and take emu oil gel caps, 3 per day, they are safe to take and emu oil kills cancer cells. One should always consult their doctor before trying anything new. Back to the boyfriend, once he knows this could be good support for you in the long run. good luck

Purple Haze	If you wait till hes falling for you it will be all the more upsetting and harder to deal with. If you tell him now he can work thorught it with you, and you shouldnt have to go thorught this alone. He will know what to expect and understand you better if you tell him. Relationships are based o communication, and this isa very imortant issue to comminicate.

Seldom Seen	It's up to you, but I think that it is best to tell him now. You don't need the added stress of keeping the secrete and dealing with your cancer and treatment at the same time. Hopefully, he will stay by you and give you the support you need now, but even if he does not, you will at least be free of the stress of keeping the secrete. I know that it's easier said than done, but try to keep a positive attitude (meditate, watch funny movies, laugh, keep your spirits up, listen to soothing music, relax, and pray). I've heard that laughter and a positive attitude actually physically affects your mind and body in positive ways which aids in the healing process. Fill your mind, body and spirit with the most peaceful and happy thoughts that you can. I am praying for you right this minute. I bid you peace, good health, and a long and happy life.

bert	You should tell him. sorry about you having cancer.

Kinomak	tell him asap its a good test too if he really likes you or loves in that case then he wont care well he will but he wont ditch you if he really liked you if he does then you know what kind of person he really is and the longer you keep it the worse youll feel about it guilt so tell him

AK	I would tell him as soon as possible. Do it in a comfortable setting where y'all have privacy. Tell him you'll give him time alone to make a decision of whether to stay so he won't feel pressured. Let him come to you w/ his decision. Much better to do it before you're super attached. Or tell him he can play it by ear. I hope things work out for you.

Andrea Q	Hello, I suggest you tell him. You said he treats you very good and makes you feel good. will you join with me saying the honesty and fondness he's giving you deserve straightforwardness? don't let your fear to lose him to become bigger than the respect and sincerity he deserves.

hockeylova#1	i would tell him as soon as possible i am so sorry

Alter Day	Tell him right away, that's very serious. If you two are truly in love, then he should stay with you no matter what. He should Support you when you tell him.

WMichael	Just be straight with him. Let him know. If he truly cares about you, he'll stand by you. If he does not, then so be it. You need people around you now who will support you. You don't need to carry on pretenses and hope to shield someone from a painful thing that you're going through. Tell him. Whatever happens, you'll be better off. And best wishes to you. I'm sure everything will be fine, and you'll get better. Medicine is making amazing strides in cancer treatment.

Wiked	you need to tell him now or just let him go if you can't be honest with him... lying to someone that you care about is not the way to start a relationship... believe me if you wait until later when your cancer gets worse or until he has completely fallen for you he could end up resenting you... tell him now...

?	You need to be honest with him, despite what you must be going through. If he is as good as you say he will stick around. If he goes off a bit please don't worry too much as he will have to make some serious decisions of his own. I'm sure everyone here on Answers will help when we can x

la_princess	First of all, calm down. I'm sure things will turn out fine it's not your fault you have cancer and your not the first on to have it. Secondly, you need to tell your boyfriend that you have cancer, if he's as great as you say he is he'll understand if not there's more fish in the sea(sorry for the cliché). Because think about it if he makes you feel good about yourself and treats you well he would be a good person to have around during your difficult time. Don't wait until a later time because, like you said it might make him upset that you didn't trust hm enough to tell him. But your gonna have to tell him sooner or later. Good luck, and I hope things work out.

Rosa r	tell him now ok good luck

jumanjisapikey	as soon as possible he seems like he would apreciate who you are and where ou come from tell him that you need him at this point of your life more than he knows and then tell him..i really hope treatment works out with you and mostly hey live your life to the fullest be happy b/c thats what life about!

mushroompumpkin	In my opinion, I would be honest and upfront with him sooner than later. If he freaks out or is uncomfortable with it then honestly, he wasn't worth it in the first place. One of the most imprortant things that you need in a good, lasting relationship is trust and HONESTY. Tell him and go from there. If he's as good as you say, he will be supportive and help you through it and then you'll know he's REALLY worth it. Good luck

Nurse Tess	You should tell him soon. He deserves for you to be honest with him. If you wait till the two of you are in love, and you've known all this time, what do you think that is going to do to your relationship? On the other hand, if you tell him now and it's too heavy for him to handle, then it's better for him to be out of your life before you start to get really sick and should concentrate on yourself. If he's a really good man, he may very well choose to stick around to help and support you. But he won't stick around later if he feels like you haven't been open and honest with him.

wootness	Tell him now. I've lost someone close to me and she didn't tell me what was wrong with her until she passed away one day. I was very hurt.

Anna S	The sooner you tell him the better it will be. If you wait too it might be harder for him and he might be mad that you waited so long to tell him. If you truely love him you will tell him today. I will pray for you.

sexy cuban girl	if you both love each other there should not be lies you should tell him the truth so he would know whats going on

elainemherber	You need to let him know right away. Be upfront and honest. If he really loves you he will stay with you and support you throughout this tough time.

Kristen	First: I am so sorry to hear that! My aunt had cancer, but she survied. So I will pray for you! 1. Invite him over. Order take out and watch some funny movies. Into the night be like You: Can we talk Him: Yeah sure You: Well, when I go to the hospital..I lied...they said I have cancer...and it is very aggressive..but I didn't want to hurt you..I'm sorry. something along those lines..

♥Super_Colts_Fan♥	If he treats you good, then he will want you to tell him, You will loose him if you wait. Tell him!!!!!!! If he leaves you, he will be the rudest person on the face of the planet Earth. It is not too much info. He wants that info. I hope you defeat you cancer:)

munkyzero	You definitely should tell him now. If he leaves because of that then he would not be a very good boyfriend anyway.

aSh_=)	honesty is definetly the best policy, if you want to get to know this guy better than its best to be open with him

Dr. Barker	I am sorry for your illness, but what you are doing to your boyfriend is selfish and wrong. You should tell him now, and give him a choice on what he wants to do. To let him fall in love with you with an illness as serious as this is one of the cruelest things you could ever do to him. If you care for him and want him to be happy, tell him the truth. Good luck with your treatment.

rhinoboy_87	You should always be honest. (But between you and me...wait until his birthday is over) I wish the best of luck... <3 (-in my prayers-)

Pinkgemgem	he sounds like a good guy, so tell him now. it'll be a weight off your shoulders. then you can concentrate on being well and being honest and happy with him and having as much of a good time as possible and build a solid relationship! don't waste time. tell him!! lotsa loves xx

ahab	I think you have already answered your own question. You obviously have feelings for this person, so you owe him (and yourself) the duty of honesty. Any decent person will stay and support you and one that won't, you don't need anyway. Best of luck in love and life.

Sawyer	Tell him now. 1) you need the support. 2) If he's going to run; best let him run now before you're emotionally attached. Truth is always the best policy.