goodgirl
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please tell them. please. they will stand by you and you wont be alone in all this. please tell them.
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Pinolera
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You need to tell someone. You should not go through that experience alone and they who love you would not want you to go through it alone either. Sooner or later they will find out.
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Lynn M
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If you are truly dying of cancer, your fiance and family will notice a change in you soon. It would not be fair to your fiance or family if you kept it from them. Tell them, they can comfort you during this time. Of course you are scared, cancer is very scarey and you are dying, let these love ones help you.
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FaerieWhings
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Right now is when you need your support group more then ever. Tell them about the cancer but tell them you want to live a normal life for as long as possible and that you want them to respect your wishes.
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Mr. Why
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You can tell your fiance or your family if you choose to do so. Right now it doesn't seem like a good choice, though, the way it sounds. If they're likely to fuss over you then they will likely fuss over you whether you tell them or not. The advantage to telling them is then you get to be in control of the fussing. If the fussing starts while you're still feeling the way you are, you can tell them to back off and explain under what certain circumstances you'll require help. Being scared is common when diagnosed with terminal cancer. There is fear about "What are people going to say?" Eventually you'll get to the point where you'll say, "That's their problem. It doesn't bother me," but for people persons that's a tough transition of thinking. Then there's fear about treaments and complications. Will I look awful? Will my hair fall out? Actually, since nobody can predict these things 100% there's no use being afraid about it. Just deal with it when it comes. Then there's the bigger fear of the disease itself. What is it going to take away from me? How can I still be the person I want to be? These are the tough questions. Two good steps to take to get answers are: first, make out an advance directive where you express you wishes to use only certain types of treatments and not to do other things that you would not want done to you; second is talk this plan over with the people who are going to be there with you at the end. Then there's the final fear. What happens after the end? I know that my Redeemer, Jesus Chirst, rose from the dead and lives today, such that when my time comes I will stand with him. My muslim friend tries hard to have his good deeds outweigh his bad, but he haas no certainty how the sacle will tip. My nihilistic friends are expecting nothing. We won't know until we get there, but from what I've read about heaven it sure seems better than earth so I hope to find you there next to Jesus when I show up.
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john doe
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im dying too,you have to tell,you will find peace of mind after you tell
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miss_ruby_topaz
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OK, don't rush. You might need time to let the news sink in yourself. But, in order to come to terms with things, you might find you need someone to confide in. Perhaps their is a close friend who you trust or your doctor can refer you to an experienced counsellor. If you are religious, then find comfort in your prayers. I'm sure in time you will find it in yourself to reveal the news to your family. By then you will hopefully be prepared for their reactions and will have the strength to explain to them how you wish for things to be; no fuss, just to give you the support you need when you need it. But please, for now, don't handle this alone.
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Dani
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you need to tell them it will hurt them more when you die, your family needs you trust me.....my grandmother has cancer and if she didnt have me or the rest of my family she would be in pretty bad shape. so id advise you to tell them beceause it would take a lift off your shoulders and they could help you.
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jmdanial
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John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
Romans 10:9 "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved."
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Sharon H
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You need to tell them! You will be gone soon and the family will be left here feeling even sadder because you kept something this important from them.
This is hard for you, but death can also be a very beautiful experience. Spend your remaining days with your family making memories that will help them deal with their loss long after you have departed from this old earth.
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applecheeks
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You should tell them. They love you and I think they would want to know so that they can cherish the time left that they have with you. They can also give you tremendous support, which might help you to stay positive through these hard times. You say you are scared and I recommend reading a book called, "In the Light of Death" By Timothy Freke. It's a very insightful book and his intention of this book is to help us transcend fear and suffering by revealing our essential immortal nature. The book might also help those who know and care about you. Good luck to you.
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kathy_is_a_nurse
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You are doing your families and friends a disservice by not telling them. You are also doing yourself a disservice. Everyone has issues they need to resolve prior to their own (or someone else's) death. Don't deny your loved ones the opportunity to REALLY be with you in these last days. Otherwise, when the time comes and you are no longer around, they will spend years regretting the things they didn't get an opportunity to say or do for you.
Although you didn't ask this, have you explored "guided imagery?" This is a specialized hypnosis therapy that is particularly effective in cancer patients...even severely ill cancer patients. Guided imagery helps the body mobilize its own natural defenses against the cancer. It also significantly enhances the effectiveness of any chemo or radiation, at the same time reducing any side effects of the therapy. It helps with appetite, depression, energy, etc. Give it a try. There are many remarkable case studies on its effectiveness. Google "guided imagery" + "cancer" to read more...especially concerning the work by the Simontons...who really got this profession going.
Good luck to you
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jenyluv2001
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You should tell them. Why deal with this by yourself. At first they may fuss over you, but They love you. You should tell them so that the time you spend together will be good quality time.
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Butterfly queen
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You say that you are dying....does that mean that an oncologist has given you some "idea" of how long you have to live? Were/are you not even a candidate for chemo or radiation thereapy?? IF you are, then chances are they will notice the physical chyanges occuring within/and more obviously with your physical appearance.
Wouldn't you want to know if your family or fiance were dying? You should live for one day at a time is what my father's doctor said to me when we were talking about his cancer. None of us are immortal, nor can we really with any uncertainty predict when we will die. Tell them so they can support you like you will need.
Best of luck to you and to all those who love you !!!!!!
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carolea_lamblin
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you should tell them you need all of the suport in the world rigght now and some one to talk to about this she will understand and good luck
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Dr Dee
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You should tell them.
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keepingthefaith
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this is not fair to you or to them. tell them quickly it is only right. God bless you.
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Cheryl D
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you will need to tell someone. you need support.
It must be very scary dealing with it all on your own. If you care about these people you need to tell them. You can limit it to only your close family and your fiance.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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ANTHONY A
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There really isn't a question here, but I'll give you some advice. They are gonna find out sooner or later, you had better just tell them. When you do, tell them that you won't accept their pity. These are the people you love, don't hurt them by withholding information like that.
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Pegasus90
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Find a death counselor. Call any local psychologist for a referral if they do not do it. They will help you face your fears, and may be able to help you talk to people about your situation.
If you have any hope left for a cure, read the chapter on cancer in "Enter the Zone" by Barry Sears, Ph.D.
Best wishes.
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ausblue
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I dont know what to say now i read what silly m said
If it is true, you should tell your love ones, they will be a great comfort for you. plus you should try & stay positive it is said to work for a lot of people. I wish you all the best & pray you will recover.My brother has beat it twice & been free of it for nearly 10 years now.
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--------
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you have to tell them. THey need to know and share your pain. dont go through this alone. I wish you the best!
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kazlith
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Cancer isnt' the death sentence that it used to be!! Please, have hope! Why are you saying "I am dying of cancer." Has the doctor told you it's terminal? Inoperable? That chemo won't work?
Hey, guess what? They said the same thing to my aunt and said she had no more than 6 months to live. That was about 14 years ago!! My uncle, her hustand, died first and he didn't have cancer.
This is a very important issue and you should discuss it with your fiance and family. You need their emotional support now. Explain what you mean by "I don't want them to fuss over me" and gently remind them if they slip and fuss but they deserve to know and they can help you in this difficult time.
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saxdeason
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You really need to tell them. Your going to need all the support you can get. Cancer is not something you can fight on your own.
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Marina S
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My father died three months ago from cancer. He didn't want me to know either. They only found out that it was cancer a month before he passed. My mother couldn't tell me for a good two weeks after they found out the news. I am their only child. I got to deal with the news for a week till I got the call that the doctors didn't think he was going to live through next week. I was lucky that I got to say good bye. I wish I had known sooner. I would have spent every second I could with him if I had know what was really happening. He died of lung cancer on a Saturday.The doctors didn't find it in time. For a year and a half, everyone just though was developing bad allergies or couldn't kick this cold. He had cancer.
It sounds like you know your family loves you. I think that you must know that they will be torn apart by the news. But them knowing will make what time you do have to much more special. Things can be said, trips can be taken, and love is shared. I know the fear that you are feeling. It is validated. But seeing my father passing, and my families love during that time can let me tell you in confidence that this time can actually be a beautiful. If you know what your situation is, and the estimates they give you, then take the time you need to prepare, but tell you family and fiance. You can choose the chemo or radiation practices, but remember the quality of life factor. If this is really it, then live it up.
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jewells_40
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Scared is normal - then comes anger - then the "why me" - then "not me" and after a while you will be OK with it because there is nothing you can do but be OK with it.
you SHOULD tell your friends and loved ones so you can have the best time you can while you are here.
it is all about LIVING your life so when you go, you have no regrets.
An you really can't hide it anyway; you WILL need help. Cancer doesn't come and kill you like a heart attack or a stroke. Unfortunately, it takes it's time and slowly destroys the body from with-in.
Besides ; there is always hope - stay strong (LIVESTRONG)a as long as you can - a new drug or treatment may be around just over the horizon.
Jewells
31 months and still here
P.S. - and if you really don't have cancer and this is some type of joke I hope you do get it so you really can understand how it feels
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sailor_chronos
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Living with cancer is one of the scariest things to do. You really should let your family know so they can be there to support you. Has your medical specialist determined that the cancer is inoperable? Have you undergone chemo or radiation treatments? You might still have options. Best of luck.
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R N
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I have been cancer free for 12 years then again 5 years and the hardest thing for me to do was to tell my family. The best thing for you to do is tell your fiance and family - they have the right to know what is going on and they will be your best support system, it not only helps you but also helps them with their healing process. Good luck and god bless.
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whore of the old testiment
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dont you think it will hurt twice as bad when you die
and they find out that you lied to them or kept it from them
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Anitka
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Now i'm ok.I'm 15 and I'm the only child... For my mother it was impossible to understand that I had cancer, she was nervous and it hurt me. But my father supported me so much: he was calm and told me to struggle and not to ask how could this happen to me. It helped me much to survive. U have to tell your family. It's life and you and your family have to enjoy every moment of it. Tell them it will make the things better. Any treatment can help???
if no u can try some herbs to feel better and make your life longer.Good luck and be optimistic (it really works: believe me). U can mail me if u want to talk about it.
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lostintheclover
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You should tell them it's completely unfair of you to do that, don't feel sorry for yourself & let them enjoy the time the have with you with open eyes.
CT
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